A recent poll by Common Sense Media shows how much teens rely n their media devices. About 50 percent of teens say they are addicted to their devices. 

But what are the consequences to this addiction?

While social media itself is not inherently dangerous, the content that teens are exposed to on social media can be harmful.

It may be all fun and games at first, sharing funny videos or posting pictures from vacation. But social media exists in an arena where comparison, bullying and inappropriate content can occur. While teens may not be using social media for these reasons, they are still in danger of exposure to potentially hurtful content, especially cyberbullying.

JAMA Pediatrics (The Journal of the American Medical Association) conducted 10 studies that explored the link between social media victimization and depression. Alarmingly, every single study showed a significant correlation.

Twenty-three percent of teens report that they have been targeted by cyberbullying. There’s something about the privacy of a keyboard and a screen that gives teenagers a false bravery and security, convincing them that they can post and share whatever they want, without consequences.

“Cyberbullying can be more extreme than other forms of bullying because it leaves the victim feeling as if they have no escape. Since it occurs on their personal electronic devices, they can be sent and received quickly with a feeling of permanence,” said Lisa Elliott, a licensed psychologist and clinic manager of Cook Children’s Behavioral Health in Denton

The National Institute of Mental Health estimated that 2.2 million adolescents have had at least one major depressive episode in the past year due to social media. Even worse, victims of cyberbullying are more than twice as likely to attempt suicide. It’s heartbreaking to think that because of a cowardly comment typed from behind the security of a screen, a teenager decides that life just isn’t worth it.

Even if teens are not experiencing cyberbullying, some are finding their self-worth on social media. Teens invest emotion into the number of likes and comments on a post. The Common Sense Media poll found that 72 percent of teens feel the need to respond to text messages, social media messages and other notifications.

The more likes, the more validated they feel. The less likes, the more self-conscious and lonely they feel. It’s as if there’s some unspoken ranking based on the number of likes an Instagram post can get. Sorry, teens, but validation is not found in the double-tapping of a screen.

Social media is also the perfect platform for teens to experience what they call “FOMO” (fear of missing out). They compare themselves to their “friends” on social media, and are constantly exposed to things that make them yearn to be included. If your teen is commenting #FOMO on everything on their news feed, then they feel extremely dissatisfied with their life compared to somebody else’s because of the false reality social media has the power to project.

So what is the solution? If you ask a teen to quit social media, you may run the risk of sending them into a state of shock and withdrawal. It is also not fair to say that every teen on social media is depressed. So how do we address the ones that are suffering from the harmful effects of social media?

Elliott said to check what your teens are following. If their news feed is filled with braggadocios posts and bullying, then they need to reassess their “friends.” Social media should be a safe place to socialize.

Therefore, encourage your kids to be a light on social media – talk to them about how real life exists beyond a handheld gadget or a lit up laptop screen. Ultimately, challenge them to use their social media for positive interactions. If they wouldn’t say that comment out loud, in person, don’t say it. If they wouldn’t want their dad to see that photo, don’t post it. If they see something inappropriate on their news feed, report the content and remove the friend (they sound like trouble, anyways).

“Educate your children that everything they put out into the cyber world is there forever and how important it is to have a positive online reputation,” said Dr. Elliott.

Social media is not going to go away. However, there are ways to overpower the harmful effects it can have on our teenagers. Pay attention to their demeanor. If they’re in a bad mood, ask them how many Instagram likes they got that day.

Written by Elizabeth Sparks

I love to watch them play and have fun, but I’m not watching them every single second. I’m usually reading something on my laptop and I glance up here and there to see what they’re up to. More often than not, they’re pausing to get the rules straight before they conquer that which would destroy us all. However, I have found myself jumping from my seat and running to the back patio door to tell them to stop! Why? Because I notice them doing something with their sticks that has a high potential to hurt one or both of them.

In and of itself a stick is not dangerous. A stick is a stick. You can poke in the mud with it, you can use it to imagine slaying dragons, or you could run with it out in front of you (the tip only inches above the ground, bobbing with every stride) and potentially impale yourself with said stick. Or, you could witness your 4-year-old swinging his stick wildly as the 8 year old, backing up to prevent being struck, stumbles over a toy wheelbarrow while the 4-year-old continues his assault. That’s what got my attention.

So, let’s talk about sticks … I mean apps. It’s the same conversation. Sticks come in all shapes and sizes. Some may be too big for my 4-year-old to handle; however, being a bit older, my 8-year-old may not have a problem with a slightly larger stick. Comparing this to apps on the tablets, my 4-year old does not understand some of the games my 8-year-old might play; but, he loves Reading Eggs®! But, since my 8-year-old is reading chapter books, Reading Eggs® (which helped him at one time) is now a “boring baby game.” For one, the stick is too small. For the other, the stick is just right.

As they grow older, they will want to delve into apps that challenge their maturity level and hold their attention. In the tween years, they will become more and more enthralled with social apps. On into the teen years, connecting with friends will more than likely become far more important than playing Cut the Rope® or Where’s My Water?®. It’s during these transitional periods that we’ll want to glance up from the kitchen table to take a quick peek into the virtual backyard. Knowing how to do this is half the battle.

Any app – even ones designed specifically for the facilitation of risky behavior – can be used in a way that is benign. All children are different and most are going to push the boundaries at some point or another. It’s our job as parents to guide them. In order to guide them, we need to be able to “glance up” to see what they are doing. Are they using social media apps? Are they playing games? What apps do they have loaded on the device? Are they chatting with strangers? What information are they giving out? I could keep adding questions. First, let’s talk about the most dangerous app of all.

Depending on their temperament, maturity level, risk taking, decision making skills, and overall attitude, the most dangerous app could be between your child’s ears. On the flip-side, it could also be the best security app available. Apps are not dangerous. Impaling yourself with apps is dangerous. Teaching your child good decision making skills and helping them to keep their compass as north as possible is the number one best way to prevent harm, period. In order to do that, you have to be able to “glance up” to ensure the compass needle is not falling.

There are two ways to secure a mobile device. One way is preventative security. Net Nanny® is a great app for enforcing parental controls for younger children. It prevents the errant Youtube video from introducing your child to inappropriate content as they follow the rabbit hole after searching for Spiderman. As they get older (and a bit wiser), preventative security measures lose their potency and can lead to a false sense of security for the parent. That’s why I recommend monitoring software.

There are several monitoring software packages available and, as with apps in the app stores, they are a moving target. iSpyoo® for iOS and Android (and other mobile phones) has received an “outstanding” editor’s rating on CNET.com. The review (which can be found on the CNET.com site and a search for iSpyoo) is for Android specifically; however, iSpyoo’s website boasts that “iSpyoo works on all mobile phones and networks from around the world.” Whichever monitoring software you choose, ensure it (1) cannot be detected by your child and (2) can send periodic alerts to your email address. A quick scan of the activity could either set your mind at ease or raise red flags. However, in order for this to work, you must maintain ownership of the device.

As a security professional with over 20 years of experience, I am 100 percent against giving smartphones, tablets, and other devices as gifts unless the rules are laid out appropriately. My rule is that, until you are on your own, you are borrowing MY device. I am the administrator and you are my child. That phone is on MY data plan and, while I did name it as your phone on the carrier’s website, I still pay the bills and I can cancel at any time. If you lay these rules out from the beginning, you could potentially run into far fewer problems down the road.

The bottom line is, yes, there are apps on the markets that give us concern. Some apps can be used for setting up a rendezvous with a stranger in a dark alley. If I were to tell you about specific apps today, I would miss the ones that will be coming out next week, month, or year. In all of my research and expertise, I still have not figured out how to definitively foretell the future. I can predict with a high degree of certainty, however, that there will be more apps coming. Keeping track of what your child does on their phones, tablets or computers will always be the best way to protect them. Just remember to bring your own stick to the game.

About the author

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer, has been in technology for medical facilities since early 2000 and has been practicing for more than 20 years with his start in the United States Air Force. He is a part of Cook Children's Experts on Call Speakers Bureau. Hawkins specializes in privacy and technology safety and is a regular speaker at the National HIT/HIPAA Conference. He has been quoted and published in several national publications, including Health Information Management Magazine.

Hawkins' can speak on a variety of security topics facing our children & parents today, including:

• Social media
• Cyber bullying
• Sexting
• Safety online (Parents & Child)
• General home networking security
• Virtual Child (Parents)
• Internet Safety (Parents & Child)