Parenting can be hard. Everyday stresses can decrease patience and make parenting even harder. Always try to slow down, take advantage of every moment, and seize the opportunity to turn negative experiences into positive ones.

Consider the following ways (as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics) to show your child your love this Valentine’s Day and every day.

1. Use Words with Care
Choose positive and encouraging words, and those that model consideration and gratitude, to help build your child’s building self-esteem. The opposite can occur when negative words or sarcasm (which is typically not understood by children) are used.

2. Spend Time Together
Hold the time together (even if limited) with importance. Celebrate the quality of the time, not the quantity. Try to take time for one-on-one activities with each child. Ensure the time is uninterrupted by cell phones or other devices. Switch off the electronics and play board games or enjoy an outdoor activity.

3. Have Heart-to-Heart Conversations
Make sure you take the time to listen to your child’s response to common questions like “How was your day?” Ask about challenges they may be experiencing and let them finish the story before you offer a solution. If you worry your child is anxious or depressed, make sure to discuss your concerns with your pediatrician

4. Give Hugs First
Human contact has shown to be a calming measure for anger and other situations in which the child may be in a bad mood or grouching. A quick hug, cuddle, pat on the back or nod or some other sign of affection can be used before talking through the difficulty. Consider waiting to discuss it further until after some time has passed when they are feeling better.

5. Always Listen
Ensure your child knows you are always listening and ready to respond promptly and lovingly. Being available to listen when your child wants to talk, even if it’s not a good time for you. This shows your child that they are a priority and tends to help with reciprocating when it's their to listen.

6. Discipline with Love
Use positive, non-violent discipline instead of physical and verbal punishments, which can negatively impact the physical and mental health of children. Clear and consistent rules are important from an early age. When rules are followed, offer praise. When they’re not followed, calmly describe consequences and follow through with them.

7. Forgive Mistakes
If you respond too harshly, make sure to apologize and explain how you will change your response in the future. No one is perfect, so forgive yourself when you react harshly. Teaching forgiveness will also teach a child to accept their own mistakes and build their confidence.

8. Create a Love for Reading
Start reading to your child during infancy. Many studies show children who are read to early and consistently have increased school success. Some studies also show that a parent-child bond is strengthened by spending time reading together.

9. Cook and Eat Together
A good way to enjoy each other's company is to spend quality time cooking and eating together. This also gives parents an opportunity to teach kids about good food choices.

10. Foster friendship
Help your child build positive relationships with friends, siblings and other family and community members. Consider helping your child volunteer or participate in other opportunities in which you can help those in need together. Encourage them to play sports or other activities that require teamwork. Spend time with neighbors doing fun activities. This can be especially hard during the pandemic, but technology can help keep people connected.

11. Adopt a Pet
Consider bringing a pet into your family. Animals can increase physical activity, enhance overall positive feelings and also give children an opportunity to connect with someone they care about. This can also offer an opportunity to develop the sense of responsibility when age-appropriate.

12. Model Health and Safety
Keep your child healthy by taking them to their wellness checks at age-appropriate intervals. Model a safe and healthy lifestyle, including nutritious eating, adequate sleep and exercise.

13. Give Affection and Attention
Make time every day to talk. Children and adolescents are more likely to make healthy choices if they are well connected with family members.

14. Use Words of Affirmation
Don’t forget to say “I love YOU!” as much as possible.

Valentine Heart Attack

Here is a great idea for Valentine’s Day (and you have plenty of time to get some of these heart messages on display for your child before Feb. 14). Give your child a ‘Valentine Heart Attack’ by cutting out paper hearts and writing nice, positive comments about them. Then, use the hearts to decorate their bedroom door. You can write one or two a day for a week leading up to the holiday, or if you are in a time crunch, write them all the night before and decorate the door with all of them.

Download free heart templates here.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

When it comes to navigating new romantic relationships, many teens feel they have all the answers. Taking time early on to talk openly with your tween about your family’s values, setting boundaries, risky behaviors and establishing healthy relationships can serve as a vital building block for a strong emotional foundation as he or she matures.

“Every child matures at a different rate. However, realistically, high school should be the earliest that dating should be considered,” said Joy Crabtree, PsyD, a licensed psychologist at Cook Children’s. “Rather than using a specific age or grade to determine if your child is ready to date, focus more on overall maturity level, ability to take responsibility and overall social skills. Parents need to realize that, like it or not, their children are going to mature and grow up. Try not to over-focus on preventing them from branching out and separating, but help them move through the stages of life with balance, perspective and respect for their parents’ rules.”

Ready or Not

So how are parents to know if their teen is ready to take that first step into the world of dating and broken hearts? Consider this:

Maturity - Although teens may look and be old enough to date, they may not have the mental and emotional maturity to do so. Consider their reactions to emotional situations and which stage they are at in their pubescent development. If your teens appear to be generally naïve or are emotionally overactive or sensitive, it is likely best if dating is delayed until they are older.

Sense of Responsibility - Teens who are safe drivers, actively involved in sports or hobbies, engaged in family and social activities, and doing well academically are generally responsible enough to date without a chaperone.

Crabtree also suggests considering whether or not your children are able to strike a healthy balance between academics and social activities and if they are responsible in completing required chores and able to meet deadlines or curfews.