Leaving it on the list would have drawn the ire of the overwhelming majority of the scientific community who believe that vaccines are safe and one of the most effective medical ideas ever. If he decided to pull it, he faced the backlash of a loud, but passionate few who sympathize with Andrew Wakefield and his ideas regarding vaccines and autism.

De Niro pulled the film from its single screening at Tribeca.

It went on to be shown in limited screenings, starting in New York. The turnout wasn’t great and the discussion about the film faded almost as fast as it started.

I thought it was over. I was wrong.

Autism is an issue that breeds passionate responses. Robert De Niro, who has a child with autism, is clearly personally affected by them. Many others are personally affected and passionate. Reporting a study that shows no link between autism and vaccines is difficult to do with passion. Science and truth are not always emotionally compelling but passion and emotions do not prove anything.

This morning, on the Today show, De Niro was asked about his decision to pull the movie. He had a lot of things to say … below are some quotes I pulled from De Niro and my response:

“I think the move is something that people should see … there’s something to that movie.”

If a movie came out that said cigarettes are safe and don’t cause cancer, in fact they are good for you, would we insist that everyone should see it? No, and those who did would only do so to see the absurdity of the claims. I will see the movie when I can and I’ll have a better feel for the content. But the bottom line is, Wakefield has worn his credibility thin over the years and doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. His study has been discredited due to his falsifying evidence and unethical means of collecting data.

“To shut it down, there’s no reason to. If you’re scientists, let’s see. Let’s hear. Everybody doesn’t seem to want to hear much about it. It’s shut down. You guys are the ones who should be doing the investigating. Do the investigating.”

“There is a link. The obvious one is thimerosal which is mercury-based preservative. I don’t know, I’m not a scientist but I know because I’ve seen so much reaction about it. Let’s just find out the truth.”

Scientists want truth also. Scientists have done the research. Scientists continue to do research.

Multiple studies looking at vaccines have shown that they are safe. Continuing to research these same topics steals time and resources of our most intelligent scientists who might actually get to more answers about autism. We desperately need help in our understanding of the real cause, how to get an early diagnosis and best treatments for autism. We don’t need another study that disproves the link between MMR and autism.

“There’s something there that people aren’t addressing. And for me to get so upset, here today, here on the Today Show with you guys means that there’s something there.”

Finally, “I am not anti-vaccine. I want safe vaccines.”

I can partially agree with this statement. I am not anti-vaccine either. The difference is that I believe we have already found safe ones.

After all, who doesn’t remember being judged by the cool kid in school. And now it’s your daughter doing the judging?

But to help ensure your daughter’s positive transition into womanhood, it’s better to suppress your fear of being “un-cool” in your teen’s eyes and work toward gaining her respect instead.

“Sometimes, moms feel like that stepping into a peer-like role will enable them to find out more about their daughters’ lives,” said Lena Zettler, MA, LPA, director of psychology at Cook Children’s. “Frequently, however, that approach backfires, because the information they learn isn’t always innocent or pleasant. When you suddenly step out of that friend role and become the mother again, it’s very confusing to a teen.”

Finding a balance

In general, mothers are the managers of their children’s emotional and social lives. Because of this, the line between friendships and mother-daughter relationships can get blurry. A good rule of thumb to remember – most teens want to have friends their own age and their parent should play a supportive role.

It’s important to enforce limits and set expectations. If your relationship with your daughter has teetered into “friend” territory, it’s never too late to take back control.

• Look to female friends and relatives who’ve done a good job raising their daughters for advice, and allow them to mentor you.
• Have an honest conversation with your daughter to let her know you’re not comfortable being her “friend” anymore and why.
• Ask what she needs—not wants—from you as a mother.

You may not be your daughter’s BFF, but the relationship could be more rewarding for it.