1. What system do you use for your classroom management?

This question is important because it lets you know the class norms along with what is expected of your child’s behavior.

2. How do you reinforce positive behavior?

This will give you an idea of the rewards and praises the teacher gives out in order to support a more positive learning environment.

3. What is your primary medium for communication?

It's important to know how your child’s teacher plans to get important information to you and vice versa. Maybe they send home letters or maybe they prefer to email. It's always a good idea to know what the teacher prefers to ensure communication is not hampered.

4. What are the top three things I can do at home to help my child succeed?

By finding out the answer to this question, you will know what new material is of great importance in your child’s new grade level. For example, Ownby lets her parents know that practicing multiplication facts was extremely important when she taught third graders. If they are practicing at home, they will be better prepared in the classroom.

5. What supplies do you run out of first?

This is helpful to know in case you would like to send in supplies to school with your child. Many supplies are used on a daily basis and tend to run out quickly.

Other ways to ensure your child gets the most out of the school year include setting high expectations and making sure they attend school on a regular basis (unless they are sick). Parents should also keep an open line of communication with their child's teacher and make sure they understand the parents' goals and expectations for the child. With these points in minds, parents can help make sure their students are being given the opportunities they need to succeed in the classroom.

1. Health. Often, new teachers don’t know about your child’s health history. Many kiddos have severe nut allergies and teachers need to be aware of those food allergies, as well as if your child needs special medication or an EpiPen® injection. You should let your teacher know if your child has asthma, is diabetic or has any other serious health condition.

2. Educational Diagnoses. Teachers may not know your child has been diagnosed with a learning difference, dyslexia or an attention deficit problem. This is an opportunity to let teachers know about a 504 plan or IEP for your child. This is also a great time to let your teacher know what your child’s learning style is such as whether they are an auditory, visual or kinetic learner. Sharing your child’s areas of strengths and weaknesses is also helpful.

3. Emotional and family. Inform your teacher of any emotional factors that may impact your child such as divorce, death, illness or a parent being stationed overseas. It’s helpful for teachers to know the emotional factors that are impacting your child’s life which may help your teacher to understand and communicate better with your child.

4. Don’t settle for orientation. Teachers are bombarded with information at meet and greets during orientation. It’s hard to keep everyone and everything straight. My advice is to set up a conference with your child’s teacher as early as possible. One teacher told me she found it really helpful when parents provided a list of bullet points that included helpful information about their child, including the health and educational diagnoses, the strengths and weaknesses of the child, how the student learns the best, what the student responds to best when giving direction or correction and some points about the student’s social and personality style. Go in and set up an appointment one on one, especially if your child has special needs or considerations.

5. Be a team player. Every teacher I have spoken with has told me what they appreciate more than anything is for the parent to ask the teacher, ‘how can we help you? What information do you want to know?’ Most teachers prefer that team approach.

6. Be honest with yourself about your child. This is sometimes the most difficult tip for parents, but it’s so important. Know your child’s strengths and weakness. One of our biggest problems in today’s society is not teaching accountability. Set that example. Make sure your child knows his or her responsibility. Teachers have a difficult enough job without always blaming them, the school or another child. Please make sure you know how your child contributed to a situation and then take appropriate action from there.

Of course every child is different, and special, which makes communication between you and your teacher so important in having a great school year.

About the author

Lisa Elliott is a licensed psychologist and clinic manager of Cook Children’s Behavioral Health, located at 3201 Teasley Lane, Ste. 202, Denton, TX 76210. To make an appointment, call 940-484-4311. Cook Children’s Psychology provides care focused on children’s behavior, from ages 3 years through 17.

The Texas Education Agency (TEA) reported 188 cases of suspected teacher misconduct in 2015, causing state lawmakers to launch an investigation into what can be done to curb this alarming trend. An investigation by the TEA shows 19 of those teachers were cleared of wrongdoing. Still, the TEA says reports of student-teacher relations are up 53 percent over the past seven years. One website claims Texas leads the nation as far as sheer number of student-teacher relationship cases.

This has raised concern and placed a greater emphasis on the training of school employees. Another point of emphasis is the amount of teacher-student social media contact.

But what about at home? What do your kids think about this issue?

After all, TV shows like Pretty Little Liars, which features an affair between a student and teacher, seem to normalize the issue.

With so many mixed messages, how do you talk to your own children about this issue?

“I think the conversation begins with a general one about healthy relationships,” said Jamye Coffman, M.D., medical director of the Center for Prevention of Child Maltreatment and CARE Team at Cook Children’s. “If a relationship is very unequal, such as a big difference in maturity such as a minor with an adult or one partner has a position of authority over the other, it’s not a healthy relationship. Also, there needs to be a discussion about the law. This is wrong and the adult, will be prosecuted (not persecuted) and most likely face jail time.”

As a parent herself, Dr. Coffman says parents should be concerned if a teacher or coach is paying excessive attention to a child, is spending time with the child outside of professional responsibilities or gives the child a gift.

Dr. Coffman also says it makes no difference if the perpetrator is male or female. She says there’s still the same emotional/maturity and power inequalities involved.

“It usually starts with flirtation and gradually progresses to sexual intercourse,” Dr. Coffman said. “It’s important to remember, even as teens, they are children. Their frontal lobes haven’t developed where they can think all this through so they may not really appreciate the consequences. Really, they are being taken advantage of by older people.”

So what can parents do? Follow these tips:

1. Be your child’s advocate. A parent or coach shouldn’t want to spend time with your child. Decline any gifts. At no time, should a child have a slumber party with an adult.
2. Establish your home as a no-secret house.
3. Don’t tell a child he or she misinterpreted a behavior.
4. Don’t question any further if you think something is wrong.
5. Report any concerns to CPS or law enforcement.
6. Do not confront the perpetrator. Let the authorities do this.

Photo from Pretty Little Liars Facebook page.

For more information

Child maltreatment, sometimes referred to as child abuse and neglect, includes all forms of physical and emotional ill-treatment, sexual abuse, neglect, and exploitation that results in actual or potential harm to the child's health, development or dignity. Within this broad definition, five subtypes can be distinguished - physical abuse; sexual abuse; neglect and negligent treatment; emotional abuse; and exploitation. Read more at the child maltreatment prevention resource page.