She loves to use her baby talk with Dominic. As both a speech-language pathologist and a father, I’m conflicted. The sparkle in his eye and wonderful smile just make you melt anytime she says “O doe ma chikyweekys” or any other baby talk. It’s great, I get it, BUT we have to throw in some real words. Who will ever understand him if he says “chikyweekys.” Again, what is that?!?! (I’m just giving my wife a hard time, hopefully she doesn’t read this!)

You may have heard the term motherese and wondered what it was. Baby talk and motherese sound similar, but if you really pay attention there is a difference. Baby talk is the changing of your voice from high to low, but with nonsense words. Hence, “O doe ma chikyweekys” is a great example. But motherese, or parentese, is a bit more sophisticated and much more preferred by me as a speech therapist and as a male/father:

Parentese is:

• Varying your intonation using a sing-songy voice
• Slowing your rate of speech down
• Using short simple phrases with REAL words
• Having FUN

So if you were showing a baby a puppy for instance, you may want to try it like this: “Oh looook at the puuuuppy. Isn’t it a preeeetty puuuuppy!” As the individual using parentese, you would make sure to put some inflection (raise your voice in a fun loving way) on a few of the important words in the sentence. In this case, you could consider the important words to be “look,” “puppy” (both times) and “pretty.”

Let’s say you were playing hide-n-seek and tickle time with your baby, you could do something like this:

“Where’s my baaaaby? Where’s my baaaaby boy? Oh, I seeee him? ... tickle, tickle.” The important words in this case may be “baby” (both times) and “see.”

Some parents find that using parentese is hard or even embarrassing. I don’t blame them. When I started as a speech therapist, I thought it was awkward and very unnatural. As I used it more, I noticed a huge difference in my interactions with the little kids I was treating. They actually listened to me.

What happens if you don’t use parentese? Does the name Ben Stein mean anything to anyone? “Bueller? Bueller?” He’s that guy. He’s the one in the Clear Eye commercials using a monotone voice. The next time you play with your child, I want you to try a little experiment. While playing, talk in a monotone, Ben Stein-like voice, keeping your pitch the same throughout. Although Mr. Stein can get our attention for those commercials, you will see how quickly you lose your child’s attention.

Just like anything else, talking in parentese takes some practice, but from a child’s perspective hearing parentese is exciting and interesting. As a therapist and as a parent, I need my child’s attention if I want to teach them anything. I have seen how using parentese works in a therapeutic setting and now, with my son Dominic, I’ve seen first-hand how it works at home as well. Using my sing-songy voice, it may sound a little like this ...

Our interactions may sound silly to others, but when Dominic and I are in the moment it’s just plain good old-fashioned fun. I believe Rob Olson said it best when he said “My childhood may be over, but that doesn’t mean playtime is."

About the author

Jonathan Suarez is a speech pathologist at Cook Children's. Speech/language pathologists focus on oral motor, speech, language and communication skills to enhance development, restore function and to prevent disability from pediatric conditions, illness or injury. 

Evaluation, treatment and home programming are available for children with:

• Feeding and swallowing disorders
• Articulation, voice, resonance, and fluency disorders
• Receptive and expressive language disorders
• Aural rehabilitation/ auditory verbal therapy for hearing loss or cochlear implant
• Evaluation for augmentative communication devices

We love to hear the first sweet sounds from newborn babies when we feed them and cuddle with them. Then they quickly progress to happy babbling and, at last, WORDS! All within a fast moving, short 12 months. Somewhere between the ages of 3 and 4 years old, a parent may say, “My child has so many words; I couldn’t possibly count them!” Then, babies progress to speaking sentences, having conversations, and using their words for imaginative play. Of course, there are also the fun word skills they learn when they enter the amazing world of reading.

This describes typical, fantastical language development ... BUT what if things are not typical? What if there are concerns? What can the parent expect? When should a parent seek help and from whom?

Some concerns may include:

1. Little or no babbling. Well-formed babbling should be in place by 10 months of age at the latest. Vowel sounds, e.g., ah, oo, ee, etc., are used first, and then they will start pairing consonants with vowels to make syllables like, “ba-ba-ba-go-da-tee” and more.

2. Slow in saying first words (after 12 months)

3. Vocabulary count is low. (See my previous blog on Is my child's speech 'normal?' )

4. Significant drooling beyond 18 months of age.

5. Difficulty understanding what your child says or you are one of the few people that can understand what he or she says.

6. Not speaking in 2 -3 word combinations by 24 months of age, e.g, “I fishing;” “My toys;” etc.

7. Child acts frustrated by difficulties with his or her own communication skills.

8. Child overuses gestures to communicate his or her wants and needs.

9. Poor eye gaze to the speaker’s face.

10. Lack of variety of play skills.

11. Lack of interest in engaging others in play.

Who can help a parent sort out these concerns?

Talk with your pediatrician and ask for referral to a speech/language pathologist for an evaluation if you have concerns. A speech-language pathologist (SLP) is educated and trained to evaluate and treat communication problems from birth through to adulthood. A speech/language evaluation will identify your child’s communication strengths and challenges, and a plan of care will be recommended, if necessary. You, as the parent, will want to see a SLP who is experienced with children.

Speech/language therapy can be provided in a number of different settings - therapy provided in a clinic setting is primarily on an individual basis: one child – one therapist. Therapy provided in the public schools is typically in a group setting. Different settings and models of care can be selected based on your child’s and family’s needs. Participating with your child in therapy is an important part of care and will help maximize your child’s progress.

We all want our children to develop skills with ease. Remember, when that development is on a continuum and there is a range of typical development. However, if there is a concern, ask your doctor for a referral to see an SLP. By identifying potential challenges early and obtaining intervention such as speech/language therapy, the outlook is definitely brighter. Early identification and intervention are key.

For more information:

• Cook Children's speech therapy
• Is my child's speech 'normal?'
•  http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/screening.html
• http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/pdf/parents_pdfs/developmentalscreening.pdf
• http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/freematerials.html - Positive Parenting tips based on child’s age.
• http://www.asha.org