At a minimum, COVID-19 has clearly upended our normal day-to-day functioning. However, for many this pandemic has had a devastating impact.

It’s reported that one-third of the entire global population has been in lockdown mode with school closures impacting an estimated 1.5 billion children worldwide. There are many things to worry about right now when it comes to keeping our families safe and healthy.

Now, we must also worry about the very serious risks associated with your child’s increased online activity.

One of those risks is cyberbullying, and unfortunately 87% of our children and teens have seen cyberbullying online, either as a victim or observer.

With that high rate of occurrence during normal times, there’s legitimate concern for increased risk of children experiencing cyberbullying. After all, most kids have increased time on devices, free time, and frustration.

To further complicate this issue, children and teens may end up suffering silently because they do not have the normal outlets accessible to them to seek help, specifically school counselors, teachers, coaches and peers.

Furthermore, the visual cues that are evident with some types of bullying are not observed, thus bullying incidents go unnoticed and not investigated.

It is critical for parents to be armed with information to help increase their awareness, know what behaviors to look for, how to talk to their child and/or teen and how to help.

Where Cyberbullying Occurs

According to Ditch the Label students identified the social media platforms they experienced cyberbullying on the most:

1. Instagram (42%)
2. Facebook (37%)
3. Snapchat (31%)
4. WhatsApp (12%)
5. YouTube (10%)
6. Twitter (9%)

The Impact of Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying has shown to have a significant negative impact on children and teens including a negative impact on learning, an increase in somatic complaints (i.e., headaches, stomach aches, sleep disturbance), an increase in depression and social anxiety, lowered self-esteem, negative impact on relationships and possible behavior problems.

Thus, it is critical that parents be aware of potential bullying/cyberbullying in order to help their child/teen cope effectively and empower them.

Certain populations are targeted more than others:

• Girls (35%) are more likely to be a victim than boys (26%), according to the Pew Research Center.
• More than half of all children and teens who identify as LGBTQ experienced cyberbullying, according to StopBullying.

What to look for: The signs a child/teen may be a victim of cyberbullying

• Avoiding the use of computers/devices, especially those that have internet access – this is the biggest flag.
• Exhibit anxiety when receiving a text, some type of message or an email.
• Withdrawing from family and friends.
• Isolation.
• Increased agitation, irritability and moodiness.
• Increased anxiety and feelings of being stressed out.
• Exhibits signs of depression, fear or low self-esteem.
• Increased somatic complaints such as headaches and stomach aches or they stop eating.
• Changes in sleep patterns, possibly an increase in nightmares.
• Declining grades.
• Resist attending school and social events, possibly a change in friend group.
• Skipping school and/or getting into trouble at school.
• Increased behavior problems or getting in trouble at school.
• In serious case attempting self-harm and/or suicidal thoughts.

Behaviors to look for that might suggest your child/teen is the cyberbully:

• Stop using their computer/device when someone comes near them.
• Secretive about what they are doing online.
• Spend an excessive amount of time on their computer/device.
• Look nervous or jumpy when they are online.
• Become aggressive and angry when their online activity is limited or removed.

What can parents do to help?

Parents beginning from a young age need to have and encourage open and frequent dialogue in general about bullying and cyberbullying, especially as they gain more access to computers and technology. The reality is bullying is not limited to children and teens, unfortunately it is common among adults as well, so it is important to teach and model healthy social and emotional functioning from an early age. Be sure to talk about what bully/cyberbullying is and how to know when it is happening.

Directly ask your child/teen if they have been or are being bullied/cyberbullied, be willing to share either personal experiences or those of close friends and family so they realize they are not alone. Many children/teens won’t tell their parents that they are being cyberbullied because they are afraid they will lose their computer/device and Internet privileges so it is imperative that you communicate they will not lose their privileges if they are being cyberbullied. Encourage them to unplug from technology or certain apps but do not threaten to take away access.

Teach your child/teen tips on how to stay safe with technology including never sharing their Internet passwords with anyone except parents, never send messages when they are upset or angry, always be polite online – never say something to someone else that would hurt them personally, never put anything online that they would not want their parents to know, never post their own or others’ personal information, refuse to pass along any cyberbully messages and teach them how to be a good bystander – stand up for others and tell others to stop engaging in cyberbully behavior.

Parents need to keep themselves current on technology, apps and acronyms. They should also use parental control apps on your child/teen’s computer and devices. In addition, parents should limit data access and turn off access during certain hours, make it mandatory that you know your child/teen’s passwords and know who your child/teen communicates with online.

If your child/teen does report to you they are being cyberbullied these are guidelines to help you and your child/teen:

• NEVER respond to any message, text or post, regardless of how untrue or hurtful it is
• NEVER seek revenge
• SAVE all the evidence
• Report any issue to the Internet Service Provider (ISP), or social media websites such as Facebook, YouTube
• Report any threats of harm or sexual messages to police
• Report all information to school authorities
• Block all communication with the cyberbully

Resources (with links):

• STOMP Out Bullying
• Cyberbullying.org
• Nobully.org
• Safekids.com
• connectsafely.org
• Staysafeonline.org
• Education.com website
• National Crime Prevention Council
• Stopcyberbullying.org
• Stopbullying.gov
• Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
• Cyberbullying Research Center
• DoSomething.org
• WiredSafety.com
• Texas Attorney General’s Office
• National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

A recent poll by Common Sense Media shows how much teens rely n their media devices. About 50 percent of teens say they are addicted to their devices. 

But what are the consequences to this addiction?

While social media itself is not inherently dangerous, the content that teens are exposed to on social media can be harmful.

It may be all fun and games at first, sharing funny videos or posting pictures from vacation. But social media exists in an arena where comparison, bullying and inappropriate content can occur. While teens may not be using social media for these reasons, they are still in danger of exposure to potentially hurtful content, especially cyberbullying.

JAMA Pediatrics (The Journal of the American Medical Association) conducted 10 studies that explored the link between social media victimization and depression. Alarmingly, every single study showed a significant correlation.

Twenty-three percent of teens report that they have been targeted by cyberbullying. There’s something about the privacy of a keyboard and a screen that gives teenagers a false bravery and security, convincing them that they can post and share whatever they want, without consequences.

“Cyberbullying can be more extreme than other forms of bullying because it leaves the victim feeling as if they have no escape. Since it occurs on their personal electronic devices, they can be sent and received quickly with a feeling of permanence,” said Lisa Elliott, a licensed psychologist and clinic manager of Cook Children’s Behavioral Health in Denton

The National Institute of Mental Health estimated that 2.2 million adolescents have had at least one major depressive episode in the past year due to social media. Even worse, victims of cyberbullying are more than twice as likely to attempt suicide. It’s heartbreaking to think that because of a cowardly comment typed from behind the security of a screen, a teenager decides that life just isn’t worth it.

Even if teens are not experiencing cyberbullying, some are finding their self-worth on social media. Teens invest emotion into the number of likes and comments on a post. The Common Sense Media poll found that 72 percent of teens feel the need to respond to text messages, social media messages and other notifications.

The more likes, the more validated they feel. The less likes, the more self-conscious and lonely they feel. It’s as if there’s some unspoken ranking based on the number of likes an Instagram post can get. Sorry, teens, but validation is not found in the double-tapping of a screen.

Social media is also the perfect platform for teens to experience what they call “FOMO” (fear of missing out). They compare themselves to their “friends” on social media, and are constantly exposed to things that make them yearn to be included. If your teen is commenting #FOMO on everything on their news feed, then they feel extremely dissatisfied with their life compared to somebody else’s because of the false reality social media has the power to project.

So what is the solution? If you ask a teen to quit social media, you may run the risk of sending them into a state of shock and withdrawal. It is also not fair to say that every teen on social media is depressed. So how do we address the ones that are suffering from the harmful effects of social media?

Elliott said to check what your teens are following. If their news feed is filled with braggadocios posts and bullying, then they need to reassess their “friends.” Social media should be a safe place to socialize.

Therefore, encourage your kids to be a light on social media – talk to them about how real life exists beyond a handheld gadget or a lit up laptop screen. Ultimately, challenge them to use their social media for positive interactions. If they wouldn’t say that comment out loud, in person, don’t say it. If they wouldn’t want their dad to see that photo, don’t post it. If they see something inappropriate on their news feed, report the content and remove the friend (they sound like trouble, anyways).

“Educate your children that everything they put out into the cyber world is there forever and how important it is to have a positive online reputation,” said Dr. Elliott.

Social media is not going to go away. However, there are ways to overpower the harmful effects it can have on our teenagers. Pay attention to their demeanor. If they’re in a bad mood, ask them how many Instagram likes they got that day.

Written by Elizabeth Sparks

At best, the mom is rolling her eyes and pulling her phone out to hand to her screaming child.

“Children under 2 years of age should have no screen time and after 2 years, we should limit screen time to 2 hours per day.”

There is the common summary statement that can be taken out of the AAP Policy Statement on Children, Adolescents and the Media.

Is this realistic?

Is this practical?

Is anyone listening to anything we say?

In May, a meeting of the best minds in the use of media in pediatrics set out to answer these questions as well as look at recent research on the use of screens in children and teenagers.

In order to get information about the meeting out quickly, AAP News released a summary of some of the thoughts that came out of the meeting.

If you read the headlines that were generated as a result of the statement, you might have heard:

“Pediatricians think all screen time is OK. Go for it!”

“Pediatricians finally admit that they were dead wrong and outdated when they said toddlers shouldn’t use screens.”

“Pediatric guidelines now changed to allow for more screen time, at earlier ages.”

Unfortunately, we don’t always get the time to fully explain our message and the media doesn’t always get it right.

Here are my takeaways from the statement that I hope better reflect the intent of the authors:

1. What you might have heard: “Pediatricians think all screen time is OK. Go for it!”

What it should have said: “We need to continue to be careful about the amount of time children are on screens. Guiding them toward quality apps and games that are more than just watching a video is important. Watching and playing alongside your children helps to enrich the experience for the family as a whole.”

2. What you might have heard: “Pediatricians finally admit that they were dead wrong and outdated when they said toddlers shouldn’t use screens.”

What it should have said: “The benefit of screen time for toddlers is an ongoing topic of research but it is clear that children continue to learn best from interacting with and talking to other humans. One of the major risk of screen time is the time take away from rich interaction with parents and other caregivers.”

3. What you might have heard: “Pediatric guidelines now changed to allow for more screen time, at earlier ages.”

What it should have said: “While this statement is not a new guideline, it does highlight the AAP commitment to following new research in regards to screen use and helping to relay that information to parents as soon as possible. As more information comes available, we will update our guidelines to reflect current studies in the context of practical media use for children.

Do continue to follow this debate because the guidelines are likely to change over time. (P.S. That’s what guidelines should do in a new and heavily researched field.)

Don’t go out and buy your 1 year old her own iPad.

Here are five surprising insights about the germs that breed on your phones:

1. Cell phones reflect the personal microbial world of their owners. Scientists have found that cell phones represent our microbiome—the trillions of micro-organisms that live in and on our bodies. Cell phones are an integral part of our daily lives, so our own germs regularly spread from our mouths and skin onto our phones.

2. Have you ever heard of streptococcus, staphylococcus and diphtheroids? If not, these are colonies of bacteria that thrive on your phones. A little bit of bacteria is ok, but too much of it can cause a problem. Our phones are overwhelmingly covered in bacteria and we need to worry about other people’s germs. Think about the next time you set your phone down in a public area or share your phone with someone else. Your phone accumulates the other person’s germs as well as the bacteria they’ve picked up.

3. A cell phone has 18 times more harmful bacteria than a public restroom. This statistic is a little scary, but think about it--we use our cell phones after we eat, work out, use the restroom, etc. Several of us are guilty of using our phones with filthy hands. We don’t think about the germs that are transferred every time our hands touch our phones.

4. Cell phones are breeding grounds for bacteria because of their warmth. Warmth breeds bacteria and phones are always warm from the battery and body heat. We also put our phones in germ-infested places like our purses and pockets.

5. Cell phones can intensify face acne. Pressing your phone onto your face allows bacteria to get trapped into your pores causing unwanted blemishes.

Chris Curtis, clinical coordinator of Infectious Disease at Cook Children's, recommends good hand washing and hygiene to prevent unwanted germs on cell phones. “It is imperative for individuals to continually wash their hands after activities. I tell parents to have their child sing “happy birthday” or the “ABCs” while hand washing,” Curtis said.

Screen protectors for cell phones can guard against the little monsters as well. Reiterate to your child to not only wash his or her hands, but to also keep the phone shiny and clean. Diminishing germs on cell phones can prevent illness and lead to a healthier lifestyle.

- Article written by Amanda Burmeister

It took that long to outrage a country from what was seen and heard by members of Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity at the University of Oklahoma chanting a racial epithet on a bus.

While the video shows that we haven’t progressed as far as most of us would like as a society, it also proves once again that our children need to learn the life-changing consequences of going viral.

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer at Cook Children’s, gives a presentation to children called, “The Virtual World.” He explains the permanence of everything we post to the Internet.

“Like a face tattoo, the things your child posts to the Internet in public forums could be discoverable by potential college recruiters, employers or those out to paint your child’s character in a negative way,” Hawkins said. “What does your child aspire to be when he or she grows up? Are the things your children are doing on the Internet today going to have a negative impact on that career choice?”

Considering the speed of today’s technology, it’s important for kids to understand that everything they do is permanent, even if it’s been deleted. Thanks to screen shots, a careless text message can be frozen in time and put on social networking sites, forever subject to public scrutiny.

Hawkins recommends parents talk with their kids and express the need for self-control when they interact with others, even when they aren’t speaking face-to-face. Explain the importance of cooling off before sending that angry text message, commenting on a blog or posting an aggressive Facebook status. And if someone is doing something inappropriate, walk away or don’t participate. Everyone has a recording device in their hands these days.

A study from the University of Massachusetts’ Center for Market Research found that 21 percent of college admissions offices research their applicants via social media sites. An offensive blog post could overrule a stellar SAT score and change a university’s admission invitation.

“Kids don’t think about the harms they could be causing themselves,” Hawkins said. “They tend to have this, ‘Look ma, no hands’ mentality while we watch them and freak out. But those split second decisions can have forever consequences.”

About the source

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer, has been in technology for medical facilities since early 2000 and has been practicing for more than 20 years with his start in the United States Air Force. He is a part of Cook Children's Experts on Call Speakers Bureau. Hawkins specializes in privacy and technology safety and is a regular speaker at the National HIT/HIPAA Conference. He has been quoted and published in several national publications, including Health Information Management Magazine.

Hawkins' can speak on a variety of security topics facing our children & parents today, including:

• Social media
• Cyber bullying
• Sexting
• Safety online (Parents & Child)
• General home networking security
• Virtual Child (Parents)
• Internet Safety (Parents & Child)

I love to watch them play and have fun, but I’m not watching them every single second. I’m usually reading something on my laptop and I glance up here and there to see what they’re up to. More often than not, they’re pausing to get the rules straight before they conquer that which would destroy us all. However, I have found myself jumping from my seat and running to the back patio door to tell them to stop! Why? Because I notice them doing something with their sticks that has a high potential to hurt one or both of them.

In and of itself a stick is not dangerous. A stick is a stick. You can poke in the mud with it, you can use it to imagine slaying dragons, or you could run with it out in front of you (the tip only inches above the ground, bobbing with every stride) and potentially impale yourself with said stick. Or, you could witness your 4-year-old swinging his stick wildly as the 8 year old, backing up to prevent being struck, stumbles over a toy wheelbarrow while the 4-year-old continues his assault. That’s what got my attention.

So, let’s talk about sticks … I mean apps. It’s the same conversation. Sticks come in all shapes and sizes. Some may be too big for my 4-year-old to handle; however, being a bit older, my 8-year-old may not have a problem with a slightly larger stick. Comparing this to apps on the tablets, my 4-year old does not understand some of the games my 8-year-old might play; but, he loves Reading Eggs®! But, since my 8-year-old is reading chapter books, Reading Eggs® (which helped him at one time) is now a “boring baby game.” For one, the stick is too small. For the other, the stick is just right.

As they grow older, they will want to delve into apps that challenge their maturity level and hold their attention. In the tween years, they will become more and more enthralled with social apps. On into the teen years, connecting with friends will more than likely become far more important than playing Cut the Rope® or Where’s My Water?®. It’s during these transitional periods that we’ll want to glance up from the kitchen table to take a quick peek into the virtual backyard. Knowing how to do this is half the battle.

Any app – even ones designed specifically for the facilitation of risky behavior – can be used in a way that is benign. All children are different and most are going to push the boundaries at some point or another. It’s our job as parents to guide them. In order to guide them, we need to be able to “glance up” to see what they are doing. Are they using social media apps? Are they playing games? What apps do they have loaded on the device? Are they chatting with strangers? What information are they giving out? I could keep adding questions. First, let’s talk about the most dangerous app of all.

Depending on their temperament, maturity level, risk taking, decision making skills, and overall attitude, the most dangerous app could be between your child’s ears. On the flip-side, it could also be the best security app available. Apps are not dangerous. Impaling yourself with apps is dangerous. Teaching your child good decision making skills and helping them to keep their compass as north as possible is the number one best way to prevent harm, period. In order to do that, you have to be able to “glance up” to ensure the compass needle is not falling.

There are two ways to secure a mobile device. One way is preventative security. Net Nanny® is a great app for enforcing parental controls for younger children. It prevents the errant Youtube video from introducing your child to inappropriate content as they follow the rabbit hole after searching for Spiderman. As they get older (and a bit wiser), preventative security measures lose their potency and can lead to a false sense of security for the parent. That’s why I recommend monitoring software.

There are several monitoring software packages available and, as with apps in the app stores, they are a moving target. iSpyoo® for iOS and Android (and other mobile phones) has received an “outstanding” editor’s rating on CNET.com. The review (which can be found on the CNET.com site and a search for iSpyoo) is for Android specifically; however, iSpyoo’s website boasts that “iSpyoo works on all mobile phones and networks from around the world.” Whichever monitoring software you choose, ensure it (1) cannot be detected by your child and (2) can send periodic alerts to your email address. A quick scan of the activity could either set your mind at ease or raise red flags. However, in order for this to work, you must maintain ownership of the device.

As a security professional with over 20 years of experience, I am 100 percent against giving smartphones, tablets, and other devices as gifts unless the rules are laid out appropriately. My rule is that, until you are on your own, you are borrowing MY device. I am the administrator and you are my child. That phone is on MY data plan and, while I did name it as your phone on the carrier’s website, I still pay the bills and I can cancel at any time. If you lay these rules out from the beginning, you could potentially run into far fewer problems down the road.

The bottom line is, yes, there are apps on the markets that give us concern. Some apps can be used for setting up a rendezvous with a stranger in a dark alley. If I were to tell you about specific apps today, I would miss the ones that will be coming out next week, month, or year. In all of my research and expertise, I still have not figured out how to definitively foretell the future. I can predict with a high degree of certainty, however, that there will be more apps coming. Keeping track of what your child does on their phones, tablets or computers will always be the best way to protect them. Just remember to bring your own stick to the game.

About the author

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer, has been in technology for medical facilities since early 2000 and has been practicing for more than 20 years with his start in the United States Air Force. He is a part of Cook Children's Experts on Call Speakers Bureau. Hawkins specializes in privacy and technology safety and is a regular speaker at the National HIT/HIPAA Conference. He has been quoted and published in several national publications, including Health Information Management Magazine.

Hawkins' can speak on a variety of security topics facing our children & parents today, including:

• Social media
• Cyber bullying
• Sexting
• Safety online (Parents & Child)
• General home networking security
• Virtual Child (Parents)
• Internet Safety (Parents & Child)

Oh, there she is, over there checking out Facebook.

Are you nervous every time her kid climbs up the ladder he might fall down and injure himself?

She’s still playing Candy Crush. Ok, let me rescue her kid from the top of the slide.

There’s new evidence to suggest that there may be some truth to your concern.

A recent study from Yale Economics professor Craig Paulson showed that, from 2005-2012, unintentional injuries in children aged 0-5 increased. He was able to correlate the increase in injuries with the expansion of 3G cellular networks across the country. Many of these injuries occurred during times of parental supervision (not day care or with other caregivers). There was no similar increase in injuries of children aged 6-10.

This trend is the opposite of the overwhelming decrease in unintentional childhood injuries since the 1970s.

While there could be other explanations of this trend, clearly distracted parenting is becoming more of a problem in today’s world.

Here are some things to think about:

1. You will underestimate how long you will be looking at your screen. Even if you look away for one task, that task will take longer than you think and you are likely to get sidetracked by something else.
2. Injuries in children often take mere seconds to develop. There may be no build up from independent play to dangerous predicament in the time it takes to read and respond to a text.

In any situation, you should be aware of how much time you are spending with your smartphone.

I had this amazing, Mom of the Year type plan where our family would reduce our use of electronics to 1 hour a day and provide the kids an opportunity to EARN up to another hour of screen time per day by doing various chores around the house. Awesome plan right? Right.

I was trying to figure out how I was going to humorously chronicles all of our FAILS this first week of Operation UnPlug (thank you to my sweet friend DeeDee for the name). But I truly am a glass half full gal, so despite our family not being able to hit a home run with plan A, we had some big family wins. Even though we did not exactly follow the plan, we had a good week.

Some highlights from week 1

No one died. The kids swore they would die without constant electronic entertainment. They totally didn't.

We did use electronics a little less every day. Look, tracking kids' minutes (times three kids) proved to be a major pain from the word go. MAJOR.PAIN. It proved very quickly to be time consuming and complicated. But,having a general sense of how much time we are on and off electronics is admittedly helpful. We ditched the strict minute tracking and did a more informal tracking (That is us in a nutshell - informal). We were successful in making sure we were off more than we were on and that each day we were off even more than the day before.

We invented new family lingo. Our family now has our own terminology. Phrases like “going dark,” “screen free,” “fun break” and “screen amnesty” are all part of our daily conversation now. I am not sure what “Screen Amnesty” means in real life, but for us, it is unlimited screen time that is not earned and has no consequences. Fun Fact - “screen amnesty” was invented by my husband ... FOUR HOURS INTO THE FIRST DAY OF OPERATION UNPLUG! FOUR HOURS! Honestly, I thought about calling Cook Children’s and telling them they had the WRONG family after we started throwing around “screen amnesty” so early into this project.

We were so productive!!! I hate to even admit just how much cleaning we knocked out the first few days of this experiment. It was awesome. I had the kids work on their rooms, the cool thing was they would find toys they had not paid any attention to in quite some time. They would stop and play and I was OK with that. Take your time kids. All the time you need. And now that I am not consumed with crushing my old high school buddies that I haven’t seen in 20 years at Words With Friends, I do find myself spending a little more time on my own personal to-do list. Go figure.

The dog lost weight. Ok, I may be reaching here, but I am trying to focus on everything that went RIGHT this week. By unplugging, we did more cool things as a family like take the dog for long walks and she lost an eighth of a pound. Hey, a loss is a loss

Did we turn into The Waltons week 1? Oh good gravy, not even close. Did we become aware that things in our home need to change and we are in need of daily unplugging? Totally. We will keep working on it and we will keep you posted!

Previous media free stories:

• 'TV head' - Could you unplug?
• Going media free - part 1
• Breaking it to the crew - part 2