“She was always so happy. Everybody was her friend,” said Mary, Julia’s adoptive mother. “She did not know a stranger.”

Julia was the kind of person who trusted people easily. So years later, when a young woman reached out to her on social media, she didn’t think much about the individual wanting to be her friend. She began to correspond and eventually started meeting her at a local park where Julia liked to skateboard.

“We were so protective of her, and only started letting her go to the park by herself when she was 17,” said Mary. “Still, I would drive around to check on her. She would always say, ‘Mom, why are you always worrying?’ I would tell her, ‘That’s my job.’”

Mary was worried about the new friend in Julia’s life. Something seemed off. But, like most teenagers, Julia didn’t want to listen to her parents. After all, she had finished high school early and was working toward her dream job as a nursing assistant. Julia completed school in December, but hadn’t graduated yet. It was the week of prom when Mary last heard her daughter’s voice.

“She called me after her job interview and told me how it went, and then she said, ‘I’m going to stay with my friend for a couple of days, but I’ll be back in time to do prom stuff later this week,’” said Mary.

At the time, Julia was 18 and Mary knew she couldn’t tell her daughter what to do. Still, she didn’t like the plan.

“I said, ‘Okay, I can’t tell you not to, but I don’t want you to go,” she explained.

At 7:30 the next morning, two state troopers arrived at Mary’s home. They told her and her husband that Julia’s body had been found on a tollway in Dallas. From there, the truth about Julia’s friend unraveled. She was what law enforcement officials call a “bottom girl,” someone who manipulates and baits vulnerable victims into human trafficking. It turned out that Julia’s ‘friend’ had been paid by a human trafficking ringleader to deliver the teen for commercial sex trade. Mary believes Julia was thrown out of the vehicle when she would not comply.

Julia died on May 2, 2018, just 20 days before her graduation.

“Two hours later, my phone rang. It was the person who interviewed Julia calling to let her know she got the job,” said Mary. “That broke my heart all over again.”

This month, a grand jury in Collin County is expected to hear the case against the ringleader charged in Julia’s death. If the grand jury decides to indict, Mary says it will be the first ‘Death by Human Trafficking’ trial in Texas.

Mary and Chris are hoping their daughter’s death can save the lives of others. Working with Rep. DeWayne Burns, R-Cleburne, they’ve created a bill that, if signed into law, will require driver’s education students across Texas to be educated about human trafficking. It’s called ‘Julia’s Act.’

On April 7, Julia’s family testified in favor of the act in front of the House Committee on Licensing and Administrative Procedures. In an uncommon move, the act was voted out of the committee the same day, setting forth a high probability it will move to the full Texas House for a vote.

“People need education. They have to know that this happens. I wasn’t educated, and now I’m looking every day to see what else I can learn,” said Mary. “I felt like, if we could get it into the schools, then maybe kids would listen since it’s coming from someone else besides their parents.”

What is Human Trafficking?

A lot of confusion exists about human trafficking. It is not the same as human smuggling, and it rarely involves victims being kidnapped at random. Human trafficking is the process of “trapping people through the use of violence, deception or coercion and exploiting them for financial or personal gain.” Trafficking victims can be exploited for sex and/or labor. It occurs anytime anything of value is exchanged for sex, such as money, food, shelter or gifts.

At Cook Children’s Medical Center, the Child Advocacy Resources and Evaluation (CARE) Team treats human trafficking victims under the age of 17.

“Usually, these are kids who have already been abused. They may have a history of sexual abuse, or are runaways because they don’t have a stable home or are in foster care,” explained Stacey Henley, RN, nurse manager of the CARE Team. “We also see a lot of LGBTQ kids whose parents kicked them out because of their sexual orientation.”

Henley describes human traffickers as ‘master manipulators’ who prey on the vulnerable.

“They are really, really good at understanding human needs and behaviors,” said Henley. “I know that sounds crazy to say, but they are looking at what the person needs, whether it’s love, food or a place to live and they’re fulfilling that need.”

She says knowing how many human trafficking victims are out there is nearly impossible because it’s heavily underreported. Part of the issue is that those being exploited often don’t see themselves as victims.

“A lot of times, the victim will say the trafficker is their boyfriend. They’re being manipulated, which is part of the problem because often teachers and medical professionals are looking for someone who’s wide-eyed and mouthing, ‘Help me,’ but that’s not what happens,” Henley said. “They’re not going to say, ‘I need help, get me out of this,’ so we have to look for other clues.”

To aid with this, Henley is leading the implementation of a child sex trafficking screening tool currently in use at Cook Children’s. Her hope is that a few questions asked by clinical therapists may uncover victims hiding in plain sight.

She also points out that human trafficking is a form of child abuse and should be treated as such. Sadly, the CARE Team has seen many cases of parents trafficking their own children, usually for drugs.

“It’s really sad. The best thing we can do is get them into a stable environment and help them get the resources they need for counseling,” said Henley.

Taking Down Predators

The Human Trafficking Unit at the Tarrant County Sheriff’s Department is dedicated to taking as many predators off the streets as possible. With three investigators and a lieutenant, the unit carries out operations each month focused on helping victims and arresting human traffickers and their clients.

“When we find people who are being trafficked, we look at them as victims and set them up with an organization called Unbound Fort Worth that will help them get out of that situation,” said Detective Chris Jarvis, an investigator on the Human Trafficking Unit.

The unit also performs operations focused on the online solicitation of minors, in which they go undercover online posing as children. Detective Jarvis says they regularly catch adults who are trying to solicit sex from kids on the internet.

“Parents need to be involved with what their child is doing online,” he said. “Check their phones, make sure you’re reading their messages and know who they are talking to.”

He says some of the apps that predators use most often include:

• Facebook
• Kik
• Instagram
• Whisper
• Grindr
• Skout
• Meet me

“These are some of the biggest sites that children get on. People can go on there and talk to your child. The more experienced ones can actually find locations, even without asking,” said Detective Jarvis.

This situation is not unusual to the CARE Team at Cook Children’s. Though not always through human trafficking, young patients are frequently seen after being sexually assaulted by an adult they met online.

“I recently saw a victim who met a man on Whisper. It happens, and parents need to be looking for these apps on their kids’ phones,” said Henley.

If lured into human trafficking, Detective Jarvis says it can be extremely difficult to escape. He says traffickers isolate victims from friends and family members, take them to places that are unfamiliar and watch everything they do. They also tattoo victims as a way to brand them. Common human trafficking tattoos include bar codes, lips, cartoon characters, initials and crowns.

Life expectancy for human trafficking victims is much lower than the average person. They’re often murdered or suffer the detriments of drug use and sexually transmitted diseases. That’s why it’s so important to get victims the help they need to overcome the manipulation, which often involves long-term counseling.

A Problem Everywhere

Christi Thornhill, APRN, director of the Trauma Program at Cook Children’s travels all over Texas speaking to medical professionals about human trafficking. She says there’s not a place she’s been that hasn’t seen this problem.

“Before I speak to a group, I always Google ‘human trafficking’ and the name of the town and it never fails,” said Thornhill. “I was in Mineola, Texas, with a population of 5,000 and found an article about a bust.”

She’s also seen victims from upper-class communities like Southlake and agrees that the hardest part about this crime is the manipulation piece.

“We’ve had people from all walks of life arrested for paying for sex with young victims. Police officers, judges, coaches, doctors, clergy members, teachers. Do you really think these kids are going to tell anyone?” she said.

Thornhill points out that believing claims of sexual abuse is one of the key things that people can do to prevent a child from falling into human trafficking. She says children who are sexually abused, but not believed by their adult caretaker, stand to suffer mentally, including loss of self-esteem and self-worth, making them easy prey for traffickers.

In addition to monitoring what children and teens are doing online, parents need to know who their kids are hanging out with.

“We’ve seen cases where kids are being recruited in schools, so it’s really important to be aware of what your child is doing and who they are friends with,” said Detective Jarvis.

It’s also important to note that not all trafficking victims are runaways or missing. The CARE Team at Cook Children’s has seen cases where kids are being trafficked while still living at home with their parents.

“I’ve seen kids who have been trafficked after school, but still make it home and sleep in their own bed at night,” said Henley. “When someone is profiting from someone else having sex with a child, that’s trafficking.”

Fighting Back

You can help deter human trafficking by keeping an eye on your neighborhood. Watch for suspicious activity such as multiple cars coming and going from homes, as well as different people at all times. If you see something strange, call the police.

Red flags to watch out for in kids include:

• Missing school
• Changes in demeanor and attitude
• Odd tattoos
• Seeming like they can’t make a decision or are being controlled

“It takes a community to keep an eye out and be aware of this,” said Detective Jarvis. “We can’t do it alone.”

As for Julia’s parents, they are continuing their push for human trafficking education and hoping to extend the requirement for all state license holders. They’re also hoping to enact stiffer penalties for those convicted of human trafficking.

“The thing that really got me is that we are in a small town,” said Mary. “But going through the process and learning what I’ve learned, it doesn’t matter where you live. These people are looking for anyone willing to talk to them, and they prey on the brokenhearted.”

When it comes to navigating new romantic relationships, many teens feel they have all the answers. Taking time early on to talk openly with your tween about your family’s values, setting boundaries, risky behaviors and establishing healthy relationships can serve as a vital building block for a strong emotional foundation as he or she matures.

“Every child matures at a different rate. However, realistically, high school should be the earliest that dating should be considered,” said Joy Crabtree, PsyD, a licensed psychologist at Cook Children’s. “Rather than using a specific age or grade to determine if your child is ready to date, focus more on overall maturity level, ability to take responsibility and overall social skills. Parents need to realize that, like it or not, their children are going to mature and grow up. Try not to over-focus on preventing them from branching out and separating, but help them move through the stages of life with balance, perspective and respect for their parents’ rules.”

Ready or Not

So how are parents to know if their teen is ready to take that first step into the world of dating and broken hearts? Consider this:

Maturity - Although teens may look and be old enough to date, they may not have the mental and emotional maturity to do so. Consider their reactions to emotional situations and which stage they are at in their pubescent development. If your teens appear to be generally naïve or are emotionally overactive or sensitive, it is likely best if dating is delayed until they are older.

Sense of Responsibility - Teens who are safe drivers, actively involved in sports or hobbies, engaged in family and social activities, and doing well academically are generally responsible enough to date without a chaperone.

Crabtree also suggests considering whether or not your children are able to strike a healthy balance between academics and social activities and if they are responsible in completing required chores and able to meet deadlines or curfews.

Trust me, you don’t want to get advice about sex or STDs from teenagers.

Here are some frequently asked questions:

1. Do kids even get STDs?

Yes. About 10 million new cases of STDs are diagnosed each year between the ages of 15 and 24.

2. How will I know if my boyfriend/girlfriend has an STD?

Many STDs don't have obvious symptoms and many teenagers are ashamed to or do not want to talk about it. Because of this, you will never know for sure if your partner has an STD.

3. How serious are STDs?

Identifying and treating STDs is very important. Some like gonorrhea and chlamydia can start with small symptoms but get worse and cause severe, life-threatening infections. Others, like HIV, may not show symptoms at all but can lead to serious health complications later.

4. Are all STDs treatable?

Some STDs go away after treatment but not all. HIV can lead to AIDS which is a life-long condition with severe consequences. Herpes can cause recurrent outbreaks of sores on the genitals which can come back again and again. Human papilloma virus (HPV) causes genital warts which can lead to cervical cancer (in girls) and penile cancer (in boys).

5. Do you just get STDs from sex, or from other stuff too?

You can get an STD from vaginal sex but that’s not the only way.

Oral sex can also transmit most of the infections. A person can get gonorrhea or chlamydia of the throat. HPV and herpes can also be transmitted via oral sex.

HPV and herpes are also contagious via skin to skin contact so even touching another’s genitals can transmit these infections.

If you are a teen reading things, there's a lot more you can learn about STDs. If you have other questions, ask your doctor or talk to a parent. Mom and dad, if you are reading this, please be available to talk to your child.

The problem is these apps simply aren’t for children under any circumstance and can lead to tragic consequences.

On Feb. 11, a 44-year-old Arlington man was arrested of sexually assaulting four students in the Keller ISD.

Reports say the man met the girls through a website called Seeking/Arrangement.com. Other sites parents should be concerned about include Grindr, Tinder and KIK.

“The problem with these message apps is that it’s really hard to find the perpetrators after they use them,” said Jamye Coffman, M.D., pediatrician and medical director for Cook Children’s Advocacy Resource and Evaluation. “That information is difficult to find. So it can be very anonymous. It’s very dangerous for teenagers because they don’t really know who is on the other side.”

With the GPS devices on the apps of these sites, your teenage kid could give a complete stranger the location of your home. They may come into mom and dad’s home without you even knowing it. 

Coffman said that the reason for the bad judgment can be directly related to basic science.

“Teenagers and younger-aged children just aren’t able from a developmental standpoint to really grasp the consequences of what they are doing,” Coffman said. “Their frontal lobe of their brain hasn’t finished developing. Their impulse control is not very good. It’s up to the parents to know what their kids are up to. They have to know what’s on their child’s phone. Parents need to look at their phones and see what apps they’re using and talk to them about it.”

And with kids becoming more tech savvy in elementary school, the need for conversations about predators and sex must begin at an earlier age than ever before.

“The goal is to get them to adulthood, right? Where they can learn and make their own decisions,” Coffman said. “They do have to have natural consequences. That’s the only way they are going to learn. So you do have to let them have some consequences but you don’t want it to be something that’s either life threatening or life altering. As a parent, you can’t allow that to happen. It’s hard as a parent to talk to your kid about sex and the dangers out there. It’s really hard to have those open, non-judgmental conversations. It may be your pediatrician, if you aren’t able to have that conversation. But someone has to talk to them. It’s too important to just ignore the issues facing our kids these days.”

Parents, want to keep your children away from predators? Then be a snoop.

That’s the advice of Dr. Coffman, who is not just talking as an expert in caring for and knowing the signs of abused children, she’s speaking as a mom.

“Parents need to be nosy,” Coffman said. “Your kids may say, ‘It’s my phone.” But you’re paying for it. It’s what I used to tell my kids growing up. If you live in my home, there is no supposition that you are going to have privacy. There is no privacy if I’m paying your bills. I have the right to go in your room. I have the right to look at your phone. I have the right to look in your backpack. I have the right to look in your mattress and in the ceiling tiles and anywhere else you might hide stuff because it’s my house. I think parents are hesitant to take that role. They are so conflicted in what’s Ok and what’s not Ok for their child’s privacy. It’s just a concern for safety. If it’s something that’s a safety issue, you have a right to know.”

Jody Hawkins, Information Security Officer at Cook Children’s, seconds Dr. Coffman’s sentiments regarding privacy of children. In presentations that he gives to parents, Hawkins cautions parents to lay down the rule early.

“This is my phone, on my plan, and I pay the bills,” he said. “If you do not follow my rules, then I stop paying for the phone you are borrowing from me. If I stop paying, the phone stops working. It’s as simple as that.

Hawkins encourages spyware to be installed on children’s phones by the parents. He asks parents, “Would you allow your child to take a stranger into the bathroom, lock the door and have no worries? They usually answer, ‘No.’ I then tell them that if they allow the child to take the phone into the bathroom with no monitoring, they could very well be doing it all the time.”

It’s the world we live in today. If you want to protect your children parents, be a snoop.

But it’s the age when children began to look at pornography that may shock and concern you. Years ago, the accessibility to pornography was only on the home desktop computer that was monitored, but now, everyone in the house has a laptop, iPad and a smart phone. With children getting phones at a young age, they have access, away from the watchful eyes of their parents. So the temptation is now accessible.

Ernie Allen, former president and CEO of the International Center for Missing & Exploited Children, says the average age of U.S. children exposed to pornography is 12 years old and that one in three 10 year olds view porn.

Allen joined other health experts to speak in front of congressional staff members recently in Washington, D.C. to discuss children and Internet pornography, calling this issue a “public health crisis.”

Lisa Elliott, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and clinic manager of Behavioral Health for Cook Children’s in Denton, agrees with this assessment.

Elliott and her colleagues see children 10, and even younger struggle, with porn addiction. She says porn is so accessible with the Internet that it’s easy for children to view it with little preventing them from seeing it. She says some studies claim that pornography releases the same chemicals in the brain as cocaine addiction, making it one of the hardest to overcome.

“Kids can’t handle what they are seeing,” Elliott said. “It sends such a horrible message about the value of people and what a loving relationship truly is. Their frontal lobe has not developed enough to comprehend what they are viewing and it sends confusing messages on intimacy and what love truly is. Kids then have a hard time distinguishing what is healthy vs. what is not.”

Things have come a long way since the days of a son hiding his dad’s discarded Playboy under the bed or watching a teen flick on one of the movie channels. The Internet allows for quick and easy access to a whole new world of porn, including violent and dangerous acts that can do harm to a person.

“Kids are going to be curious,” Elliott said. “It’s important for parents to talk to their children about what’s healthy and developmentally appropriate for kids their age. It’s uncomfortable for some, but it’s a good idea to sit down with your children and talk to them about sex and healthy relationships. Parents should watch for the signs of what crosses boundaries and educate their kids too on what is out there and how harmful it can be. With my own children, I keep that dialogue going at all times and I’m not afraid to ask them very direct questions.”

So what are the symptoms of a child addicted to porn? Elliott said parents should watch for:

1. Children may isolate themselves from their parents and spend a lot of time in their bedroom or bathroom.
2. Evidence of pornography on their hard drive or web browser.
3. Clearing their history on their phone, tablet or computer.
4. Appears tearful, sullen.
5. Sleep disturbance with either falling asleep, staying asleep or exhaustion.

Elliott says the combination of children becoming desensitized to porn and the accessibility of social media can make for a scary combination, leading to a lack of inhibition and self-control. Elliott said the casual attitude about porn can lead some children to lack the ability to recognize long-term consequences with texting and sexting, Snap Chat, Vine, Facebook, Kik and ChatRoulette.

“Porn exposure can lead to desensitization just like exposure to violence has,” Elliott said. “When our children are exposed to these negative elements they begin to see that behavior is acceptable and normal. Frequent exposure to viewing violence has been shown to normalize that for kids as well as increasing trends in bullying and behaving violently as a way to solve problems. The concern is that children will grow up believing that pornography is normal, routine and that way relationships are, not to mention teaching them to exploit others.”

In a presentation she gives to parents, Elliott gives these numbers:

• Up to 39 percent of teens admit to sexting.
• Fifty-one percent of teen girls feel pressure to take and send explicit photos.
• Twenty-two percent of teen girls and 20 percent of teen boys send nude or semi-nude photos of themselves.

Resources for you:

• How pornography harms children
• Pornography's Progressive Pattern of Addiction
• The impact of pornography on children & youth
• So your kid is looking at porn. Now what?