A young person with a history of depression is obviously at a greater risk of suicide. Parents want to be alert for any changes in their adolescent’s typical behavior. They may have been very active in sports in the past, or band, theater, or cheerleading, and now are less interested or involved. They may be isolating themselves, not only from family, but also from friends. Motivation may be dropping, along with grades. You may see sleep patterns change and the teenager may be sleeping for extended periods of time and be difficult to wake in the morning. One may also notice their need for sleep is decreased or they are having difficulty falling asleep. Appetite may change as well and they may eat a lot more or a lot less, and actually be losing weight.

If a young person is talking more about death, dying, and have a sense of hopelessness, that is a big concern. Drug use and other impulsive or risky behavior can place them at a greater risk of suicide as well.

When there is a suicide in a community, parents should discuss it with their kids, particularly since they have likely already heard about it at school or from friends. Use it as an opportunity to discuss their possible feelings of grief or confusion and be a listening ear and support them. Additionally, parents can ask their child if they have ever had any extreme feelings of sadness or thoughts about hurting themselves. If current feelings about wanting to hurt themselves are acknowledged, parents should let their therapist or psychologist know right away. If they do not have a therapist or psychologist, or they are not available, they should be taken to a local mental health facility or hospital emergency room for an evaluation.

Even if a young person does not have a desire to harm themselves, their feelings of grief and sadness about a peer’s suicide can be significant, regardless if they were a close friend or just an acquaintance. Again, be a support for them and encourage them to discuss, and work through their feelings. Answer any questions they may have and explain, if appropriate, any similar feelings the parents may have as well. This may also be an opportunity for the adolescent to make a positive out of a negative experience. They may consider starting a grief support group, work on a memorial for the person who has passed away, or engage in volunteer activities. Sometimes putting feelings of sadness into positive activities can be helpful in the grieving process.

Above all, parents should be “tuned in” to their children. When unusual behavior changes are occurring, ask about them. Additionally, reassure your children you are always there for them, no matter what issue they are facing.

If you feel your child needs help, please call 682-885-3917 for a referral into Cook Children’s Psychology department.

Additional resources:

• Cook Children's Psychiatry and Psychology department
• Dealing with depression
• Resources & education
• 5 ways to fight depression
• When depression is severe

About the author

Joy Crabtree, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist for Cook Children’s, sees patients at Cook Children’s Urgent Care and Pediatric Specialties in Southlake, the first such pediatric facility in town. Previously, she worked seven years in Denton at Cook Children’s Psychology. She moved to Southlake to be closer to home. She sees patients Monday through Thursday, and on Friday she evaluates patients for conditions such as ADHD or autism Joy is married to Tim Crabtree and they have three children. If you feel your child needs to speak to a psychologist or psychiatrist, talk to your pediatrician or call 682-885-3917.

Depression is a biological illness with a strong hereditary link. Generally, 35 to 40 percent of depressed children have inherited their disease. Usually, parents notice that their child is depressed around the teen years. 

Teens with chronic illness, such as depression, are no different than any other child and generally want to be treated just like any other kid. But they should receive professional help and be assessed for anxiety and depression. 

Parents should watch for any change in mood like sadness, depression, hopelessness, irritability, anger and hostility. You may see more tearfulness and changes in activity level. Watch for more withdrawal from friends and family, change in friends and loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. Other signs include sleep disturbance, change in appetite, restlessness, agitation, fatigue, lack of energy/motivation, feelings of worthlessness and guilt. Depressed kids may have difficulty concentrating, making decisions and may even see a drop in grades. 

Always be aware of signs of depression and keep a close eye on your child. Never ignore symptoms.  If you see signs of depression, contact your physician and obtain referrals for a psychologist or therapist who is trained in pediatric and adolescent care. 

Children threatening suicide may be trying to get attention or may be struggling with depression. But it doesn’t matter. You must take the threat very seriously. If a child is talking about suicide, get help immediately. It is critical not to ignore this cry for help regardless of their reasons. 

Know that if your child is struggling with a chronic illness, including depression, it will impact the entire family. Families will require a lot of support: emotional, financial and physical. Most importantly, the support needs to be ongoing. It’s important to allow family members to vent frustration and grieve. Therapy is very helpful. If your teen is struggling with this problem, the entire family will need help to get through it. The good news is it’s available. If you feel your child needs help, please call 682-885-3917 for a referral into Cook Children’s Psychology department.

About the author

Lisa Elliott is a licensed psychologist and clinic manager of Cook Children’s Behavioral Health, located at 3201 Teasley Lane, Ste. 202, Denton, TX 76210. To make an appointment, call 940-484-4311. Cook Children’s Psychology provides care focused on children’s behavior, from ages 3 years through 17.