The Texas Education Agency (TEA) reported 188 cases of suspected teacher misconduct in 2015, causing state lawmakers to launch an investigation into what can be done to curb this alarming trend. An investigation by the TEA shows 19 of those teachers were cleared of wrongdoing. Still, the TEA says reports of student-teacher relations are up 53 percent over the past seven years. One website claims Texas leads the nation as far as sheer number of student-teacher relationship cases.

This has raised concern and placed a greater emphasis on the training of school employees. Another point of emphasis is the amount of teacher-student social media contact.

But what about at home? What do your kids think about this issue?

After all, TV shows like Pretty Little Liars, which features an affair between a student and teacher, seem to normalize the issue.

With so many mixed messages, how do you talk to your own children about this issue?

“I think the conversation begins with a general one about healthy relationships,” said Jamye Coffman, M.D., medical director of the Center for Prevention of Child Maltreatment and CARE Team at Cook Children’s. “If a relationship is very unequal, such as a big difference in maturity such as a minor with an adult or one partner has a position of authority over the other, it’s not a healthy relationship. Also, there needs to be a discussion about the law. This is wrong and the adult, will be prosecuted (not persecuted) and most likely face jail time.”

As a parent herself, Dr. Coffman says parents should be concerned if a teacher or coach is paying excessive attention to a child, is spending time with the child outside of professional responsibilities or gives the child a gift.

Dr. Coffman also says it makes no difference if the perpetrator is male or female. She says there’s still the same emotional/maturity and power inequalities involved.

“It usually starts with flirtation and gradually progresses to sexual intercourse,” Dr. Coffman said. “It’s important to remember, even as teens, they are children. Their frontal lobes haven’t developed where they can think all this through so they may not really appreciate the consequences. Really, they are being taken advantage of by older people.”

So what can parents do? Follow these tips:

1. Be your child’s advocate. A parent or coach shouldn’t want to spend time with your child. Decline any gifts. At no time, should a child have a slumber party with an adult.
2. Establish your home as a no-secret house.
3. Don’t tell a child he or she misinterpreted a behavior.
4. Don’t question any further if you think something is wrong.
5. Report any concerns to CPS or law enforcement.
6. Do not confront the perpetrator. Let the authorities do this.

Photo from Pretty Little Liars Facebook page.

For more information

Child maltreatment, sometimes referred to as child abuse and neglect, includes all forms of physical and emotional ill-treatment, sexual abuse, neglect, and exploitation that results in actual or potential harm to the child's health, development or dignity. Within this broad definition, five subtypes can be distinguished - physical abuse; sexual abuse; neglect and negligent treatment; emotional abuse; and exploitation. Read more at the child maltreatment prevention resource page. 

After all, who doesn’t remember being judged by the cool kid in school. And now it’s your daughter doing the judging?

But to help ensure your daughter’s positive transition into womanhood, it’s better to suppress your fear of being “un-cool” in your teen’s eyes and work toward gaining her respect instead.

“Sometimes, moms feel like that stepping into a peer-like role will enable them to find out more about their daughters’ lives,” said Lena Zettler, MA, LPA, director of psychology at Cook Children’s. “Frequently, however, that approach backfires, because the information they learn isn’t always innocent or pleasant. When you suddenly step out of that friend role and become the mother again, it’s very confusing to a teen.”

Finding a balance

In general, mothers are the managers of their children’s emotional and social lives. Because of this, the line between friendships and mother-daughter relationships can get blurry. A good rule of thumb to remember – most teens want to have friends their own age and their parent should play a supportive role.

It’s important to enforce limits and set expectations. If your relationship with your daughter has teetered into “friend” territory, it’s never too late to take back control.

• Look to female friends and relatives who’ve done a good job raising their daughters for advice, and allow them to mentor you.
• Have an honest conversation with your daughter to let her know you’re not comfortable being her “friend” anymore and why.
• Ask what she needs—not wants—from you as a mother.

You may not be your daughter’s BFF, but the relationship could be more rewarding for it.

Irving Police said the boy admitted to choking to death his ex-girlfriend, but his unsolicited confession came before he had his rights read to him.

Although the story is sad and shocking to us, it’s all too common.

When it comes to relationships, teens are the most common age group to experience dating violence, and dating inexperience is often to blame.

“Many teens in danger don’t realize their relationships are unhealthy or that certain behaviors are inappropriate,” said Jamye Coffman, M.D., medical director of the Cook Children’s CARE (Child Advocacy Resource and Evaluation) team. “Abuse doesn’t always involve physical assault, and many inexperienced teens and young adults view threats jealousy and controlling behaviors as signs of love.”

An estimated one in three teenagers is in an abusive relationship.

Because abuse is common in teenage relationships, it’s important for parents to talk with their children about the signs of abuse and the components of a healthy relationship before teens start dating. Parents should also model respectful behaviors in their own relationships.

“Explain that partners should respect and support one another and maintain safe boundaries,” Coffman said. “If you are worried, you can say, ‘I’m concerned about our current relationship, and I want to make sure this is a healthy one for you.’ By maintaining a healthy, respectful relationship with your teenager, you can keep communication open.”

Unfortunately, many of these relationships by teens are carried over into adulthood.

If teenagers are in an abusive relationship and want to break up, support from family and friend is essential. According to Dr. Coffman, teenagers should always carry a cell phone so they can call for help if necessary. They should also never end an abusive relationship when they are alone.

If teens attend school with their significant other, the school needs to be aware of the situation to prevent retaliation from occurring during the school day.

“The break-up period is the most dangerous time for abuse to occur or escalate,” Dr. Coffman said. “Parents need to help their children develop a plan, which should include ways to maintain safety. It’s also important for parents to recognize that girls are not the only ones at risk for abuse, and abuse doesn’t only happen in heterosexual relationships.”

Identifying Abuse

The following signs indicate teenagers may be in unhealthy relationships:

• Checking their significant other’s email, text messages or voicemail without permission.
• Jealousy.
• Mood swings.
• Offhand comments intended to degrade or put down, which are often written off as joking or teasing.
• Withdrawal from friends, family and favorite activities.
• Unexplained bruises or physical injuries.

The best thing a friend can do is help a woman suffering from domestic violence to connect with people who can get her out of her situation so she can develop a safe plan to reclaim her life. If you are in the Fort Worth area, contact One Safe Place to learn more about domestic violence, support victims, or to receive help. Nationally, call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-SAFE (7233).