With more kids at home and without a lot to do, it’s not surprising most of us have eased up on our screen-time restrictions during the current COVID-19 pandemic.

However, statistics show it’s now more important than ever to be aware of what our children are doing online.

Tragically, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) report a significant increase in online child sexual exploitation.

Specifically, CyberTipline reports a 106% increase of suspected child sexual exploitation in March 2020 (2,027,520 reports) as compared to March 2019 (983,734 reports).

The greater amount of time a child/teen is online, along with the amount of free time now available to them, increases the risk that individuals may attempt to coerce kids into providing sexually explicit images or videos.

Perpetrators attempt to make casual contact in hopes of gaining a child’s trust and developing an online sexual relationship. Often these criminals threaten the child/teen in some manner to maintain compliance.

Unfortunately, children/teens are often so embarrassed that they were naïve and enticed or coerced to engage in these behaviors that it prevents them from coming forward. So it is imperative that they understand this was not their fault, they are not in trouble and by reporting they are actually helping others.

It is critical to keep in mind that reporting suspected sexual exploitation could help minimize or stop further victimization. If you suspect or know someone is a victim of child sexual exploitation you can:

• Contact your local law enforcement agency.
• Contact your local FBI field office.
• File a report with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) at 1-800-843-5678 or online at www.cybertipline.org.

Parents, take the time to teach your children about body autonomy and that it’s OK to say no to unwanted physical touch, such as hugs and kisses.

Jamye Coffman, M.D., a child abuse pediatrician, had never heard of Show Dogs until yesterday as social media erupted after the movie’s release. Mom blogs and advocacy groups for children asked the producers of the film to recut it over concerns about its genital inspection subplot. A dog in the movie is inspected at a dog show and gradually becomes comfortable with strangers touching his genitals.

The National Center on Sexual Exploitation stated the movie, “sends a troubling message that grooms children for sexual abuse … It contains multiple scenes where a dog character must have its private parts inspected, in the course of which the dog is uncomfortable and wants to stop but is told to go to a ‘Zen place.’”

Yesterday, Global Road Entertainment agreed to recut the movie and delete the scenes that some felt was inappropriate.

Dr. Coffman, the medical director of the Child Advocacy Resources and Evaluation (CARE) team at Cook Children’s, breathed a sigh of relief at this news.

“I haven’t seen the movie but from the description I see the issue parents are having,” Dr. Coffman said. “This movie humanizes the dogs (they talk and have human emotions) and then tells the dog to go to his ‘Zen place,’ while touching privates when he is clearly uncomfortable with it. Dissociation is a coping strategy used by abused children and this movie is promoting that for the dog to cope with the touches. If a child saw this movie a conversation about autonomy and the right to say no is a must.”

Dr. Coffman said parents need to take certain steps to teach their children how to protect themselves:

1. Educate your children. Most importantly, talk to your children about the dangers of predators. “The main thing is to educate your child and let them know what is not appropriate. What’s not OK,” Dr. Coffman said. “For children or young adults, explain to them that it’s never OK to be touched inappropriately by anyone. I don’t care who it is. Mom. Dad. Grandma. Grandpa. A family friend. A pastor. A policeman. A coach. It doesn’t matter who the authority figure is. If you are being abused, tell a trusted adult. If they don’t believe you or do something about it, keep telling an adult until someone does something.”

2. Start at a young age, making children aware of what is and what isn’t inappropriate touching. Dr. Coffman said at around 2 or 3 years old parents can use certain teaching moments to inform children on inappropriate touching. Refer to private parts by their correct names. Teach your child no one is allowed to touch his or her body in these areas, nor show them theirs or pictures of them. If your child uses pet names that you don’t use, this would be a time to question them on where they learned these terms because your family uses the correct anatomical terms.

3. Let your children know it’s OK to talk to you. Generally speaking, Dr. Coffman said pedophiles don’t usually start out being extremely aggressive. They usually start with more generic touching and gaining the child’s trust. Dr. Coffman said that’s why it is extremely important to let your children know that they need to be able to come to you, as a parent, and let you know of anything that’s inappropriate. They also need to be assured that they will not get in trouble if they tell you they are uncomfortable about anything.

4. Communicate and report abuse. Let your child know to tell someone. Just letting someone know and reporting the crime can prevent a whole lot of tragedy. If a child tells you that he or she has been molested or abused, take them to a child abuse pediatrician or a children’s advocacy center. These professionals are trained in asking children questions and recording the story.

If you live in Texas, call the Texas Abuse/Neglect Hotline at 1-800-252-5400 24 hours a day, 7 days a week or click here. Outside of Tarrant County, please visit the Darkness to Light website.

The problem is these apps simply aren’t for children under any circumstance and can lead to tragic consequences.

On Feb. 11, a 44-year-old Arlington man was arrested of sexually assaulting four students in the Keller ISD.

Reports say the man met the girls through a website called Seeking/Arrangement.com. Other sites parents should be concerned about include Grindr, Tinder and KIK.

“The problem with these message apps is that it’s really hard to find the perpetrators after they use them,” said Jamye Coffman, M.D., pediatrician and medical director for Cook Children’s Advocacy Resource and Evaluation. “That information is difficult to find. So it can be very anonymous. It’s very dangerous for teenagers because they don’t really know who is on the other side.”

With the GPS devices on the apps of these sites, your teenage kid could give a complete stranger the location of your home. They may come into mom and dad’s home without you even knowing it. 

Coffman said that the reason for the bad judgment can be directly related to basic science.

“Teenagers and younger-aged children just aren’t able from a developmental standpoint to really grasp the consequences of what they are doing,” Coffman said. “Their frontal lobe of their brain hasn’t finished developing. Their impulse control is not very good. It’s up to the parents to know what their kids are up to. They have to know what’s on their child’s phone. Parents need to look at their phones and see what apps they’re using and talk to them about it.”

And with kids becoming more tech savvy in elementary school, the need for conversations about predators and sex must begin at an earlier age than ever before.

“The goal is to get them to adulthood, right? Where they can learn and make their own decisions,” Coffman said. “They do have to have natural consequences. That’s the only way they are going to learn. So you do have to let them have some consequences but you don’t want it to be something that’s either life threatening or life altering. As a parent, you can’t allow that to happen. It’s hard as a parent to talk to your kid about sex and the dangers out there. It’s really hard to have those open, non-judgmental conversations. It may be your pediatrician, if you aren’t able to have that conversation. But someone has to talk to them. It’s too important to just ignore the issues facing our kids these days.”

Parents, want to keep your children away from predators? Then be a snoop.

That’s the advice of Dr. Coffman, who is not just talking as an expert in caring for and knowing the signs of abused children, she’s speaking as a mom.

“Parents need to be nosy,” Coffman said. “Your kids may say, ‘It’s my phone.” But you’re paying for it. It’s what I used to tell my kids growing up. If you live in my home, there is no supposition that you are going to have privacy. There is no privacy if I’m paying your bills. I have the right to go in your room. I have the right to look at your phone. I have the right to look in your backpack. I have the right to look in your mattress and in the ceiling tiles and anywhere else you might hide stuff because it’s my house. I think parents are hesitant to take that role. They are so conflicted in what’s Ok and what’s not Ok for their child’s privacy. It’s just a concern for safety. If it’s something that’s a safety issue, you have a right to know.”

Jody Hawkins, Information Security Officer at Cook Children’s, seconds Dr. Coffman’s sentiments regarding privacy of children. In presentations that he gives to parents, Hawkins cautions parents to lay down the rule early.

“This is my phone, on my plan, and I pay the bills,” he said. “If you do not follow my rules, then I stop paying for the phone you are borrowing from me. If I stop paying, the phone stops working. It’s as simple as that.

Hawkins encourages spyware to be installed on children’s phones by the parents. He asks parents, “Would you allow your child to take a stranger into the bathroom, lock the door and have no worries? They usually answer, ‘No.’ I then tell them that if they allow the child to take the phone into the bathroom with no monitoring, they could very well be doing it all the time.”

It’s the world we live in today. If you want to protect your children parents, be a snoop.

We all know about Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. All three are great resources to stay updated with people and news. But even those old favorites come with concerns if your child posts something inappropriate that can be damaging to their reputation and may have forever consequences.

But what about the latest apps?

Jody Hawkins, Information Security Officer at Cook Children’s, gives his thoughts on the benefits and dangers of today’s social media, depending on the way it’s used. Below is a list of social media platforms and apps with brief explanations of what to look out for as a parent. We begin with looking at the latest app that could pose danger to your kids – Periscope.

Periscope – Hawkins calls this “possibly the next worst app for Kids.” Periscope is a new iPhone app that allows users to share real time videos on Twitter. Currently it is only available on iPhone; but Hawkins expects that to change soon. The problems are quickly rising for parents and kids.

Twitter has pushed Periscope into production to get ahead of the competition in hot pursuit. A lot of work has been done in regards to privacy, safety and keeping offensive language off the comments. By default, Periscope uses your GPS location and allows any users on Twitter to know your location while shooting video.

“Think about that, parents. Your child posts a video and every creeper in the world can suddenly see where he or she lives,” Hawkins said. “When Periscope first launched, the locator would allow others to ‘zoom in’ on the location and see an actual intersection. That feature has since been disabled; however, the location given is still in the neighborhood of where the user is located.”

Pros: Twitter is a fun and interesting app when used appropriately. The live-streaming app makes it easy for users to track broadcasts from friends, as well as streams of people from around the world. Users can watch live and recorded broadcasts and make a friend’s list and look at a global tab. You can block spam and it’s easier now to block any annoying comments.

Cons: Currently, Periscope allows anybody to say anything which could include cyber-bullying and inappropriate comments. Online, anonymity encourages juvenile behavior and brings out the worst in some people. Even if a child turns off the GPS location device, a predator familiar with the area where the child is walking will know how to locate him or her.

Hawkins says: “Through trial and error, I am sure Periscope will improve in regards to monitoring posts and better protecting user’s privacy. However, even with improvement, this app is not for kids. For now, it is what it is – another concern for parents.”

Social media apps are geared toward young adults and adults. The app creators and companies like Google, Twitter, Facebook, etc. are catering to the broadest audience possible. Too many limitations on apps like Periscope and they lose their adult users. That means it’s up to parents to monitor their children’s usage of such apps. The permanence of things posted to the Internet can be a danger for anyone; however, it is especially dangerous when in the hands of a child who hasn’t developed a more mature sense of reasoning.

As if you didn’t have enough to worry about as a parent these days, here are eight apps to be aware of that your kids may be using:

1. Hot or Not – This app allows you to upload pictures of yourself while other people in your area vote on whether you are “hot” or not. You can vote on others in your area as well.

Pros: There are no benefits for children to use this app.

Cons: If someone scores badly, this can damage a teenager’s self-esteem. Chat is available and connections can be made with strangers.

Hawkins says: He describes this app as a “game of sorts” for kids, but it can be a risky one. In an attempt to receive a higher score, users often resort to posting risqué pictures.

2. Badoo – This social/dating app promotes the idea of meeting new people, sharing interests and even dating. It’s a way to make connections with people who share similar characteristics and you can search for people nearby. Users have to pay monthly.

Pros: If you are an adult, it’s an outlet to socialize with others who share the same interests as you.

Cons: It allows you to find people nearby to chat with and leads to meeting strangers. Badoo uses GPS technology, making it easy for predators to find your child.

Hawkins says: He would not recommend this app for the under 18 aged crowd due to the risks.

3. Palringo & 4. Tango – Both of these social messaging apps allow users to meet people from all over the globe. Palringo is a group chat app that lets you create social groups based on mutual interests and allows you to send messages to the entire group or chat one-on-one. Discussions can range from topics about sports to adult content. Tango lets you talk, text, call and video chat with friends or strangers all over the world for free.

Pros: People can find like-minded friends from all over the world. Think an international, accessible pen pal.

• Palringo can lead to discussing about inappropriate topics and predators may use these apps to meet children

Hawkins says: Both apps are good for meeting people you would never otherwise meet and finding people who can talk about your interest. Younger children shouldn’t be involved and even teens who participate should only do so in groups appropriate for their age group and with careful adult supervision.

5. Tinder – This dating app allows users to connect with new and interesting people around you. This app lets people see images of other users— you swipe right to like the picture or swipe left to pass. If someone likes you back, then it’s a match. After the match is created, you have the option to chat with the individual by phone.

Pros: There are no benefits for children to use this app.

Cons: This promotes meeting other like-minded adults and bases a “match” from physical looks.

Hawkins says: “I see this as more of a dating app for people aged 18 and older and I would not recommend it for younger teens.”

6. Grindr – This social media app is aimed toward gay, bisexual and bi-curious men. This app uses your mobile’s location-based services to show you Grindr guys close in your area.

Pros: Provides an outlet for an adult male to be comfortable with his sexuality and connect with others. But the key word in the previous sentence is “adult.”

• Can lead to kids meeting with adults and all the dangers involved. This is not Ok for kids. In fact, it’s very dangerous.

Hawkins says: “If your son has this app, I suppose the closet door is open” and parents may take this opportunity to talk sexuality and risks with their children. As with all dating apps, Hawkins would not suggest this for people under 18 years old due to the likelihood of meeting up with adults.

7. Chat Roulette – This is an online chat website that pairs random people together to video chat. Every time you begin a new chat, you never know who you are going to come face-to-face with.

Pros: There are no benefits for children to use this app.

Cons: The user can encounter people eliciting inappropriate acts. You never know what will pop up on the screen.

Hawkins says: The first thing listed on the app’s download page says it all – “Warning! For adults only!” Hawkins encourages parents to be aware of what their children are viewing online and really take part in their lives, including what they are doing online. This social outlet is not recommended for the under 18 year old age group.

8. Fake-a-Text -This app allows the user to set who the text is to look like it’s from, what the text will say, and when it will be sent.

Pros: Children can impress their friends and look cool by looking like a celebrity texts them.

Cons: This can hurt reputations and upset friends by tricking them. This app also encourages lying.

Hawkins says: “This is a teen’s dream if they want to fool their friends,” Hawkins says. This “evil little app of deception” can hurt the reputation of a real person. For example: a teenage boy can convince his friends that a real girl sent a sexual text, even though she didn’t, and this can harm her reputation.

Social media has its benefits, but those benefits can come with drawbacks. Tell your child to be cautious about the information he/she is putting out there in the online world. You also might want to have the “stranger danger” talk again with a reminder to be careful about the people he/she is chatting with online. Finding the right balance with what you share online and what you keep private is key in the social media domain. Give them a certain time frame to log-in and make sure it’s on a computer that you can view.

- Article written by Amanda Burmeister

About the source

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer, has been in technology for medical facilities since early 2000 and has been practicing for more than 20 years with his start in the United States Air Force. He is a part of Cook Children's Experts on Call Speakers Bureau. Hawkins specializes in privacy and technology safety and is a regular speaker at the National HIT/HIPAA Conference. He has been quoted and published in several national publications, including Health Information Management Magazine.

Hawkins' can speak on a variety of security topics facing our children & parents today, including:

• Social media
• Cyber bullying
• Sexting
• Safety online (Parents & Child)
• General home networking security
• Virtual Child (Parents)
• Internet Safety (Parents & Child)

But it doesn’t make her any less infuriated by the actions of an adult taking away the innocence of a child. Dr. Coffman said parents need to take certain steps to teach their children how to protect themselves:

1. Educate your children. Most importantly, educate your children about the dangers of predators. “The main thing is to educate your child and let them know what is not appropriate. What’s not OK,” Coffman said. “For children, young adults reading this, it’s not OK to be touched inappropriately. I don’t care who it is. Mom. Dad. Grandma. Grandpa. A family friend. A pastor. A police. A coach. It doesn’t matter who the authority figure is. If you are being abused, tell a trusted adult. If they don’t believe you or do something about it, keep telling an adult until someone does something.”
2. Start at a young age, making children aware of what is and what isn’t inappropriate touching. Dr. Coffman said at around 2 or 3 years old parents can use certain teaching moments to inform children on inappropriate touching. “When you are bathing your child that’s a good opportunity,” she said. “Make sure to name their body parts. I don’t care what you call it, just make sure your children know what their privates are called. During a bath or while they are using the potty, use that opportunity to teach them the difference between caregivers performing necessary child care during bathing or toileting and inappropriate touches. Let children know if someone else makes them feel funny or uncomfortable by touching them, to let you know.”
3. Let your children know it’s OK to talk to you. Generally speaking, Dr. Coffman said pedophiles don’t usually start out being extremely aggressive. They usually start with more generic touching and gaining the child’s trust. Dr. Coffman said that’s why it is extremely important to let your children know that they need to be able to come to you, as a parent, and let you know of anything that’s inappropriate. They also need to be assured that they will not get in trouble if they tell you they are uncomfortable about anything.
4. Communicate and report abuse. Let your child know to tell someone. Just letting someone know and reporting the crime can prevent a whole lot of tragedy.