Because we talk about healthy and unhealthy things at home a lot, he agreed to eat some broccoli (bear with me, folks – this green food took over 5 years to happen. It was not easy and I consider it a huge victory that will likely be short-lived).

My daughter refused all the broccoli and all the fruit. Not havin’ it.

My son ate 3 pieces of broccoli, two bites of neon orange, licked every ranch molecule off the plate, and then asked for the 4-month-old Oreos in the pantry.

Yogurt ranch for the win.

They both drank milk. Score. Protein.

Dad worked late. Two working parents. We didn’t sit at the table together today.

There was a lot of talking and distraction by: counting to 100, temporary tattoos, our cats howling, and arguing about what 6+6 equals (9, in case you didn’t know). Also someone threw a strawberry and someone cried because there was no “real dessert”.

Even your pediatrician worries about her kids’ nutrition, and even your pediatrician doesn’t follow her own rules sometimes. And this picture doesn’t represent what my kids actually got in their stomachs. And every meal looks different at my house.

I used to be that childless pediatrician who always said, “I’m never gonna have the kid that only eats a couple of things! My kid is going to eat a wide range of nutritious foods! I’m a pediatrician, for crying out loud!”

Then God and Mother Nature got together and decided I needed to be taught a lesson, and gave me my firstborn child. Cue the Uncrustables.

There is no topic I talk about more in my office than picky eating. Well, maybe poop. But seriously - you’re all worried about it. And you should know that you’re not alone.

GENERAL INFO:

• Picky eaters are often children who are sensitive to their surroundings, to tastes, and to textures. Some are anxious kids in general. Some have sensory problems and are sensitive to other things like loud noises, certain smells or how clothes or shoes feel. Some are children on the autism spectrum. These kids may have heightened awareness of these senses, thus making new foods a challenge.
• Most kids who are picky are “just normal kids” though.
• The majority of kids I see who are picky will grow up to be TOTALLY NORMAL AND FUNCTIONAL EATERS (shout-out to my sister Christina who used to only eat cereal and Fritos as a kid and who now makes quinoa and kale salads for fun.)
• Picky eating may be pre-programmed in us. Think about it. Maybe we are avoidant of bitter things (like some vegetables) in our youth in order to self-preserve? Caveman toddlers needed to know to avoid the poisonous plant or fruit, which often had a bitter taste. This might be a partial explanation for why so many kids are picky.
• It is very normal for children, especially toddlers, to only eat the same thing for awhile. My daughter lived on blueberries and yogurt for a solid two weeks once, even though other things were offered to her.
• It is very normal for small children to only eat a few bites of food some days, and eat giant meals on other days.
• Milk is a great source of protein for picky kids. An 8 ounce glass of milk has 8 grams of protein in it. Try to keep it below 20-24 ounces a day for your picky eater though. Kids who just depend solely on milk for nutrition and avoid other foods can get anemic.
• Giving your picky kiddo a multivitamin with iron daily is a great idea. It's not gonna be as good for them as the nutritionally dense veggies and fruits are, but it won't hurt.

WHEN DO I WORRY?

• If a child completely refuses an entire food group, I worry. If they shun all dairy, I worry they won’t get enough calcium for their bones. If they refuse all fruits and veggies, I worry that they’re gonna get constipated or have a nutritional deficiency (these typically only develop in the most severe cases and over the long-term).
• If a child is extremely picky and is a very small kiddo, I worry.
• If they are losing weight, I worry.

Most picky eaters are your run-of-the-mill “chicken nugget and mac and cheese” type. They gag sometimes with new foods, and often don’t want to stray from the 10-15 foods they’re “OK” with. The majority of your kids will fall in this category.

But some kids are extremely picky. These kids may have something called Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). The diagnostic criteria are here.

If your child meets any of these criteria, it’s best to talk to your pediatrician. Your kiddo might need therapies that can help with introducing new foods and could benefit from seeing a nutritionist as well to assure they’re getting the nutrients they need.

“Children Will Eat If They’re Hungry”

Yes, this is true. When I moved dinnertime from 5:30 to 6 p.m. in my house, there was a noticeable difference in how much they ate and how little they whined for snacks later on in the evening. But remember the other things that fill our kids up – sometimes that little handful of Goldfish crackers an hour ago was all that was needed to keep their dinner hunger cues away. Sometimes a cup of milk before the meal will cause lunch to end in a meltdown. Snacks and milk are fine if your kiddo needs them and is an easy eater, but I just wanted to open your eyes to how easily a picky kid’s hunger can be satiated so you can better understand the food refusal.

Healthy portion sizes for kids are typically much smaller than parents may think. Protein should be the size of a child’s palm (meats, fish, beans). Veggie/fruit portion – what they can grasp with two fists. Pasta or bread? One fist. This may change depending on a growth spurt or more hunger that day due to exercise. But it illustrates how little they may need sometimes. 4 green beans. 2 apple slices.

Kids are very good at knowing how much food they need to eat. In fact, they’re better than us at it. You put me in front of a box of donuts and I’m gonna eat way more than I need because…donuts. Small kids are great at stopping when they’re done with being hungry. They don’t loosen belts or overstuff themselves. In fact, I often guide older, overweight kids to watch their younger siblings when they eat – small kids usually stop eating when the hungry goes away, not when they feel really full.

Along those lines, don’t force kids to “finish your plate.” In a day and age when kids are bigger than ever, this is just antiquated and unhealthy. Give them small portions and allow for seconds if they’re having a hungry day.

Dips. Sauces. Do it. It’s fun, and different. Use Greek yogurt to make the creamy ones. Throw onion soup mix in there, or a ranch spice packet. Try hummus. Try salsa.

New illustrated plates. Fun spoons. Twirly straw for that veggie-packed smoothie. Kids love special stuff like that. And might be more willing to try something new if it’s fun.

I know it’s enticing, but try not to use dessert as a “reward” or “bribe.” It sort of sets the stage for associating sweets/treats with success. And we’re reinforcing that what was on the dinner plate isn’t as good as the dessert.

Again, remember that some kids do sit on the edge of the eating spectrum in the “severe” zone. ALWAYS talk to your pediatrician if you feel like your kiddo might be really struggling. If he’s small, eats fewer than 5-7 things, throws up and gags on a daily basis, or has very high anxiety with food, ask for help! Feeding therapy is wonderful. Our dietitian and nutritionist friends are so helpful to doctors and parents alike. We can get through it together as a team!

I barely scratched the surface here. Please speak up in the comments if you have any other advice or ideas!

Lettuce romaine calm,

Dr. Diane Arnaout

About 3 percent of kids suffer from severe selective eating, to the extent that they can't eat out at a restaurant, said lead researcher Nancy Zucker, an eating disorders specialist at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, N.C.

Severely selective eaters are more than twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression or social anxiety, when compared with kids who'll eat anything, according to findings published online Aug. 3 in the journal Pediatrics.

Alaina Everett, a Cook Children’s licensed psychologist in Denton, says severe picky eating can be treated from a psychological/behavioral perspective as well as through oral-motor and sensory therapies and trying new foods for children who have severe selective eating can be terrifying.

“The fear is only intensified when parents make threats or express anger and frustration,” Everett said. “In our psychology department we emphasize the belief that kids do well if they can. Likewise they will eat well if they can. But there are obstacles that get in the way. Whether the original issue is a sensory processing disorder, oral-motor weakness or a gastrointestinal problem, all these kids have one thing in common, anxiety.”

From a psychological standpoint, these kids have had unpleasant experiences with food and the lingering trauma may be real. This is especially true for well-meaning moms who hide veggies in their kids’ favorite foods. If you have a seriously picky eater, Everett says this strategy will back-fire big time.

So how much anxiety can meal time actually cause?

“It is not uncommon in my practice to see children cry, scream, hide under the table, and quite literally shake at the sight of a novel food or when asked to join me at the table,” said Amanda Fyfe, a speech-language pathologist at Cook Children's in Arlington and Mansfield. “The anxiety severe picky eaters cope with is real and it can be intense. These kiddos often have months or years of negative food experiences fueling this fear, and unraveling it takes real work on everyone’s part. “

Fyfe says severely picky eaters:

• Have a significantly limited food repertoires (think 10 foods). These foods are probably similar in some way, although figuring out the rhyme or reason to what your little guy will or won’t eat can be mind boggling. It may be that his safe foods are the same color or have the same texture.
• Frustrate us with behavior that makes mealtime at home a catastrophe and eating out unheard of. He may refuse to eat with your family or cry and scream at the sight of the casserole you’ve so lovingly prepared.
• Refuse foods based on ALL sensory properties, including appearance, smell, texture, and taste. A picky eater may not even tolerate an offensive food on his plate. The sight of a non-preferred food may cause gagging, retching, and vomiting. Eating is more than simply chewing and swallowing. Interacting with, smelling, touching, and tasting are ALL important steps in the eating process. And disruption can occur at any step.
• May struggle to meet nutritional demands

“A child will not eat the broccoli and pork chops if you wait him out. He just won’t,” Fyfe said. “In fact, he may grow more and more rigid in his food selection because he IS hungry and grumpy. If a food or experience causes a child stress, discomfort, or pain, he will avoid it, plain and simple.”

Fyfe says these children are hypersensitive to foods in ways most of us might not even consider when planning our meals. Foods have to pass many tests before deemed acceptable for consumption, believe it or not, and severely picky eaters really put their meals to the test.

The first and possibly the most important test his dinner must pass? What it looks like. Children are acutely aware of the color of the food and may question why the color, shape, or size changes from bite to bite or from meal to meal. In addition, they might become overwhelmed by the smell of a particularly pungent food (think roasted broccoli, guys) and lose all ability to even consider tasting it. The texture of yogurt or pudding may cause a gag with incredible force. All of these reactions to food can lead to increased behavior disruption and meal time chaos.

“They can taste everything,” Everett said. “Zucchini pasta does not fool anyone and they are likely to stop eating pasta altogether. Presenting motivators like extra video game time can help, but it doesn’t solve the underlying anxiety. The scenario will just repeat itself when the next new food is presented.”

If your child shows signs of extreme picky eating, you will need some help. Talk to your child’s pediatrician about scheduling a feeding evaluation with a speech-language pathologist to determine the origin of the feeding woes and develop strategies to improve the eating experience for the entire family. A child psychologist may also be used if necessary.

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/08/03/428016725/could-your-childs-picky-eating-be-a-sign-of-depression

https://childhealthanddevelopment.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/kaytoomey.pdf

About the author

Amanda Fyfe is a speech-language pathologist at Cook Children's in Arlington and Mansfield. Speech/language pathologists focus on oral motor, speech, language and communication skills to enhance development, restore function and to prevent disability from pediatric conditions, illness or injury. Click here to find the closest Cook Children's Rehabilition Services near you.

You may be thinking, “Am I the only parent in town dealing with dinner drama every night?”

The answer is no. It is reported 25 to 45 percent of typically developing children experience feeding and swallowing problems, while a staggering 30 to 80 percent of children with developmental delays struggle with mealtime (Arvedson, 2008).

Now for the million dollar question: what causes feeding problems? There are several factors that can impede a child’s ability to develop a happy, healthy relationship with food, including: sensory processing disorders, gastrointestional complications, prematurity, and dysphagia.

Food should be fun. And for most of us, it is just that. But children may not see eye to eye with us when it comes to mealtime, causing this to become a stressful time for the whole family. Little ones can be incredibly stubborn when it comes to food choices.

Most parents have described their children as picky eaters at least once or twice. However, it is important for parents to know the difference between “picky eaters” and true problem feeders and when to seek assistance.

Picky eating can be a typical stage in normal development. Ready for the skinny on picky eating?

A picky eater will typically:

• Accept approximately 30 foods. That may sound like a lot, but it’s really not.
• Tolerate a new food on his or her plate and may even taste it once or twice. This new food may become a new favorite. But then again, it might get tossed on the floor. This truly depends on the child’s sensory reaction to the food in question.
• Eat meals with his or her family, but requires different preferred foods.
• Eat only one food from each food texture category (puree, crunchy, solids,etc).
• Consume one preferred food consistently, and then suffers “burn out” and refuses to eat this food for a period of time (picky eaters will usually begin to accept this food again after a brief break).
• Eat new foods after frequent exposure.

So, how can you nudge your picky eater toward the leafy greens and save your sanity? Here are a few simple suggestions for success at the dinner table regardless of whether you’re serving pizza or brussel sprouts.

1.Develop a routine and stick to it. Offer meals and snacks at about the same time each day

2.Don’t force feed or bribe your child to eat. This will likely increase refusal behaviors or even worse, bring on a power struggle.

3.Offer a variety of foods, including 1 to2 of your picky pumpkin’s favorite items, at the family meal.

4.Persistence is key! Remember not to shy away when he shudders at his first taste of peas. You may need to offer those peas up to 20-25 times before he will tolerate them.

5.Explore food with your child. Talk about the way it looks, smells and feels. Invite her into the kitchen to help you prepare the foods. Bring her along to the grocery store or farmer’s market to choose a new fruit or vegetable. Star fruit? Why not?! Eggplant? Coming right up!

6.Make it fun! Serve fruits and veggies with dips. Use cookie cutters to make a Shamrock Sandwich for St. Patrick’s Day or Santa for Christmas. Eat dinner by candlelight. Serve breakfast for dinner. Better yet, have everyone put on their coziest jammies for a pancakes and PJ’s party. Get creative!

7.Practice what you preach! This means you, parents. If you want your little ones to eat salad for dinner, you will need to dive into that bowl of greens yourself and forgo the drive-thru on your way home. Our children are always watching and learning from our actions and habits.

8.Don’t become a short-order cook. If your child refuses the family meal, it can be tempting to head back to the kitchen to whip up the macaroni and cheese he is coveting. Resist! This may promote picky eating.

Now, let’s get down to business. While picky eating can be frustrating, it is a typical stage in normal development. However, problem feeding is a true disorder that requires specialized assessment and/or intervention and is downright disheartening for parents. A child that does not eat well can evoke feelings of anxiety, fear, and helplessness, leaving caregivers struggling for a solution.

A problem feeder may:

• Eat fewer than 20 foods.
• Refuse the bottle/breast or drink a small amount and then refuse during infancy.
• Refuse an entire texture category (for example, a problem feeder may refuse to eat all pureed foods).
• Not accept new foods on his plate and may cry, scream or tantrum at the sight of a new food. Problem feeders may even gag or vomit at the sight of an offensive foods.
• Be unwilling to try new foods, despite multiple exposures.
• Eat the same food over and over, but once he experiences “burn out,” he will most likely not go back to eating that food. This will cause him to slowly, but surely, shrink his group of tolerable foods.

If your child is showing symptoms of problem feeding, talk to your child’s pediatrician regarding a feeding evaluation by an occupational therapist or speech-language pathologist. A thorough evaluation is necessary to determine the best course of individualized treatment for your child.

Hang in there, parents. There IS hope! Our feeding therapists are trained to help your child with a wide array of feeding difficulties.

References:

http://www.asha.org/PRPSpecificTopic.aspx?folderid=8589934965§ion=Incidence_and_Prevalence

http://www.sosapproach-conferences.com/articles/picky-eaters-vs-problem-feeders

Resources for Parents:

www.feedingmatters.org

www.yourkidstable.com

About the author

Amanda Fyfe is a speech-language pathologist at Cook Children's in Arlington and Mansfield. Speech/language pathologists focus on oral motor, speech, language and communication skills to enhance development, restore function and to prevent disability from pediatric conditions, illness or injury. Click here to find the closest Cook Children's Rehabilition Services near you.