While I have had previous experience addressing academic issues with my patients, my son is now in elementary school, so I am developing a whole new perspective. I still do not understand all of the intricacies of special education, but I am lucky that I have colleagues who I can contact with questions concerning my own son, as well as my patients. 

The process is incredibly complex and confusing! Despite all of my knowledge, I also admit to sometimes feeling intimidated during school meetings. I frequently help the parents of my patients locate special education advocates because it is very easy to feel that your child's needs are not being addressed they way you would like at school.  Although maintaining a strong cooperative relationship with the whole team of professionals who work with your child is important, it is also sometimes necessary to fight more for your own child. That line, however, is not always clear, and all parents need to trust their instincts.

I considered leaving pediatrics after my son's diagnosis because I was not sure that I would be able cope with developmental disabilities at work and home. However, I soon realized that I would not ever really be able to escape my new role as a "special" mom. Instead, I made the decision to embrace the situation, which eventually led me to Cook Children's and specializing in pediatric stroke in my professional and personal life. 

Although having a child who is a stroke survivor does not make me a better neuropsychologist, it does give me more insight into the day-to-day struggles that my patients and their families face. I know that, in addition to the medical and school issues, my patients and their parents may be dealing with complex family, emotional, and financial issues that go along with having a child with special needs. If you do it right, being a parent to any child is a difficult job, and we all have moments when we look back and wish we had handled a situation differently. 

I have learned that it is extremely important for parents to take care of themselves, especially when their children have complex issues, because a child's needs are best met by a healthy parent.

Related Links

• A stroke at birth - part 1
• Stroke at birth - part 2
• Stroke at birth - part 3
• Cook Children's Stroke and Thrombosis Program

About the author

Carla Hearl Morton, Ph.D., is a pediatric neuropsychologist at Cook Children's. She is a licensed psychologist with expertise in how learning and behavior are connected to the development of a child's brain structures and systems. At Cook Children's, neuropsychologists work closely with a team of neurologists andneurosurgeons to provide the best treatments and interventions that meet the individual needs of each child.

During my first meeting with new families, I also make sure to explain what I do and how it fits in with their other providers. Specifically, as a neuropsychologist, I assess a child’s development, thinking ability, and behavior, and I describe how those areas are affected by his or her medical history. 

My personal experience taught me that patients do not always know what kind of doctor I am or even why they have been referred to me. In addition, remembering how I felt, I try to be thorough without overwhelming my patients. I also assure them that it is normal to feel overwhelmed, especially soon after receiving a diagnosis, and let them know that I will be available for more clarification later, if needed.

While I knew more about all of the severe potential outcomes than most other parents, my professional background did provide me with the advantage of being able to escape my own emotions for at least brief periods of time. In medicine, especially when working with children, you cannot help but experience some emotion. 

However, using your best clinical judgment means that you must learn to focus on objective information without allowing yourself to become blinded by your own feelings. Although I could only manage it for brief periods of time, imagining this child as my patient instead of my son enabled me to think more clearly when my emotions became too intense.

Related Links

• A stroke at birth - part 1
• Stroke at birth - part 2
• Stroke at birth - part 3
• Stroke at birth - part 4