Well, that’s not really the question. But is there an amount of Vitamin D that a breastfeeding mom can take in order for the breast milk to contain recommended levels of Vitamin D for her baby?

There have been numerous studies confirming the fact that breast milk does not contain enough Vitamin D to meet the nutritional needs of an infant. Even in mothers who are still taking prenatal vitamins; there’s not enough that makes its way into the milk ducts. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all babies should be given a daily Vitamin D supplement which provides 400 International Units (IU) of the vitamin. Yes, even formula-fed babies need it (at least until they’re consuming a daily minimum of 32 oz per day of a Vitamin D fortified formula)!

There’s been some new light shed on this topic, however. Some studies have suggested that lactating mothers who take 4000 IU to 6400 IU of daily Vitamin D, will produce an adequate amount of the vitamin present in the breast milk to meet the nutritional requirements of the infant. This is pretty awesome news! Especially if you’re like me and forget to give your little one their daily dose; or better yet, if your little one gives the Vitamin D right back to you (stained clothes or furniture anyone?). 

It’s important to note that the research noted that adequate Vitamin D levels weren’t reached until about 4-5 months AFTER taking the increased dose. 

With that being said, we still recommend that you give your baby a Vitamin D supplement until there is more research done in this area. I would also highly recommend that mothers who are interested in breastfeeding discuss taking an increased dose of Vitamin D with their OB/Gyn as elevated Vitamin D levels in the body can pose some health risks. 

This pediatrician has watched your mental battles from the sidelines this year, Mama.

2020 was not an easy year to be a mom.

Personally, I can tell you it kind of sucked, right? Just a little. The pandemic brought about so many hard choices that NO mother should ever have to make. My brain’s stream-of-consciousness ran a little something like this:

“Should I let my kids play with other kids? Will they get sick if they do? Will not interacting with others harm them more than catching COVID will? Should we start in-person school? Will masking all day be hard for them? Is virtual school a better option for us? Will looking at a screen all day hurt my kid’s eyes? Will lack of interaction with peers lead to social regressions? Are my kids eating and snacking too much? Do I need to choose between my kids seeing their friends, and my kids seeing their grandparents? Is my child in his room too much? Is he exercising enough? Is he sad too often? Is social media going to influence his behavior? Is it normal for sleep to be this much of a struggle – for both me and my kid? Am I telling my kids to wash their hands too much? Will this give them a germ complex? What do I tell my kids when they see those protests on the street? What do I tell them when they see the news on TV? What do I say when they hear people angry and shouting at each other?”…and so on and so forth…over and over…and for me, usually happening at 3 a.m.

So now that you know that I worried about a lot of the same things you did, let’s talk.

This Mother’s Day I’d like to tell you about what I’ve seen and heard in the privacy of my exam rooms.

More anxiety than I’ve ever seen in my career. In both parents and kids.

More depression in children and teens.

More mental crises.

More weight gain.

More screen addiction.

More sleep problems.

More suicidal thoughts.

Momming has never been more difficult. Not only have we been burdened by our own mental struggles, but we’re trying to cope with our kids’ mental strain now more than ever.

Some advice:

1. “Put on your own oxygen mask first – and then help your children with theirs”. Take care of yourself so that you can then throw that energy into your child and his/her struggles.
2. Look for help – Cook Children’s pediatricians, psychologists, and psychiatrists and hospital staff are here for you. We know kids - especially the mental health of kids. Check out the new Cook Children’s JOY Campaign for TONS of resources.
3. Please, ask questions. If your kid is struggling, ask your pediatrician – will some socializing be okay? Should my kiddo return to school/ go to camp? Is it safe? What are the pros/cons? What is the risk by doing this activity or that one? How much screentime is healthy for my kid? Is this behavior normal, or is my teenager showing signs of a problem? What are some resources so I can learn more?
4. Look into counseling. At my office EVERY DAY I tell parents: every single human on the planet goes through a time in their life where they’d benefit from therapy. Do it. Don’t feel weird about it. Just go talk to someone – and take your kid to talk to someone. Psychologists are trained to help you through this.

From one mom to another: we are not meant, as humans, to deal with as much stress as we have in the past year and come out unscathed.

There’s a reason you keep hearing the word “unprecedented” when it comes to 2020 and 2021. The pandemic, the politics, the civil unrest - this was a year that no one anticipated, and no one was prepared for. Know that you’re not alone in what you or your child may be dealing with.

So put down your armor, you warriors. And reach out your arms and accept some help! And give yourself a little grace.

This year was a scary and painful mess. And this Mother’s Day, no matter how much you yelled at your kids, no matter how much you felt you didn’t have the answers, and no matter how much you questioned your decisions, I want you to pat yourselves on the back. Because just surviving has been the victory here. And you’re doing the best you can.

How do I know parents shame themselves?

First, I know that parents shame themselves because I AM a parent, and I do it. For example, in the spirit of full confession I will tell you that—once when my son was a toddler— we went to a playdate at a pebble-layered park during which I completely failed to notice his slipping a little handful or two of said pebbles into his mouth. I thought I might’ve seen him sneak something stealthily into his mouth, but I convinced myself otherwise (clean tongue, no dirt on his face). Two hours later at home, he awoke crying from a nap and vomited a pile of pebbles. “I burped, Mommy,” he said, pointing to that which he ejected. Guilt for allowing him to ingest choke hazards followed. “Bad Mommy,” I told myself. Another time, I got confused about the date and time of a much anticipated birthday party. We rang a family’s doorbell with gift in hand only to be told the party had been the prior week. Quiet tear-fall on my daughter’s cheeks ensued. “Bad Mom,” I told myself. These are just two examples, but you get the drift, right?

Second, I know that parents shame themselves because, well, I’ve got this gig as a pediatrician. In this line of work—in which I am fortunate enough to be privy to many joys and happy events among my patient families— not a day goes by that I don’t also see and hear parents judge themselves as “unworthy.” I often see tearful new parents in the midst of extreme sleep deprivation with their wailing and yellowing jaundiced neonates put to breasts that aren’t yet fully cooperating with the nursing plan. “Bad Mommy,” the moms tell themselves, for not satisfying their babies at the breast. “Bad Daddy,” the dads tell themselves, for not being able to better comfort and support their wives and new baby. I have seen many parents fret when I have diagnosed their baby with an ear infection after a rough night of letting their little one “cry it out” in sleep-training. “What bad parents, not going to our crying baby in a time of need,” they tell themselves. Parents have come to me after hearing from a teacher that something was less than great about their child’s performance. They have often internalized this problem or flaw as something they might have prevented “if only we were better parents.”

Honestly, I’ve seen parents— I’m talking about wonderful and oh-so-very well-meaning people— stack everything their child does less-well or more slowly or less confidently or less joyfully than others onto their own backs as their burden to bear in self-flagellation. And self-flagellation doesn’t feel good! The time has come, my friends, for us to stop this abuse of self. Together let’s take steps toward self-preservation, realism, self-acceptance, and love.

Step One: Silence the Self-Critic

Amy Poehler, the awesome one of SNL and Parks and Rec, has a chapter in her book Yes, Please called “plain girl vs the demon” in which she refers to the voice in each of us that “talks badly to us.” She writes that the demon might say to one’s self, “I am too fat or too skinny or too tall or too wide or my legs are too stupid and my face is too smiley or my teeth are dumb and my nose is serious and my stomach is being so lame.” And, on the flip side, another critical voice may then retort (to itself, yourself), “I am so ungrateful— I have arms and legs and I can walk and I have strong nail beds and I am alive and I am so selfish and I have to read Man’s Search for Meaning again and call my parents and volunteer more and reduce my carbon footprint and why am I such a self-obsessed ugly [bleep].”

This is the same self-critic I am suggesting we silence. It is the very one that tells us we are not the model parent we had hoped to be. It says, “You stink, you enabler of pebble-eating, failure-at-exclusive breastfeeding, and non-responder to ear pain— you are a Bad Parent!” In the name of self-preservation and positivity, we must kick this nasty voice out of our consciousness—STAT! Plug your ears and say, “Lalalala,” because the inner demon is a bully.

In addition, our inner demons often talk crazy — that is, their comments aren’t grounded in reality. By way of illustration, imagine I am looking at myself in the mirror after donning my best fancy attire with grooming and make-up quite beyond my usual jeans and T-shirt, around-the-house look. I just might look at myself and think— “Hey, I like this dress— it’s nice to get dolled up sometimes, and I like the way I look today.”

But what would happen if instead an inner crazy-talking voice then pointing out to me that “Nope, Supermodel ___(blank)____(insert the name of your supermodel of choice) would look a lot better in this dress— you actually look bad.” If I listened to that voice, I might feel pretty deflated, as —let’s face it—it is true that any supermodel would look better than I in any dress. My point, however, is that I should not listen to that voice, as why would I compare myself to a supermodel anyway? And even supermodels say that their Perfect 10 appearance in pictures is not their “real” look and is much helped by Photoshop and make-up artists and the like.

The point is that the self-critic is a bully who encourages unhealthy comparison to unreachable ideals. And this brings me to the next step.

Step Two: Recognize and Reject UnREALISTIC Expectations

These days, we parents often burden ourselves with unrealistic expectations for how we will rear our children. Parent and parenting author/blogger Bunmi Laditan summarizes things well and humorously:

“How to be a parent in 2020: Make sure your children’s academic, emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual, physical, nutritional, and social needs are met while being careful not to over stimulate, under stimulate, improperly medicate, helicopter, or neglect them in a screen-free, processed foods-free, GMO-free, negative energy-free, plastic-free, body positive, socially conscious, egalitarian but also authoritative, nurturing but fostering of independence, gentle but not overly permissive, pesticide-free two-story, multilingual home, preferably in a cul-de-sac with a backyard and 1.5 siblings spaced at least two years apart for proper development, and don’t forget the coconut oil.

How to be a parent in literally every generation before ours: “Feed them sometimes.”

Many of us lucky enough to have had supportive and loving parents strive to be like them. However, in many cases societal expectations (safety seats, seatbelts, no smoking, etc) and also our own expectations complicate the mix. Perhaps we have added two parent full-time jobs with ambitious goals for promotion to our list. Perhaps we have added travel, dietary limitations, or exercise ambitions to the day. Perhaps we don’t live close to other family members and have to go at it alone or with the help of nannies and baby-sitters. We have a lot on our plate—too much, if we don’t also throw in some forgiveness and self-acceptance.

Alas, we are only human, and there are only 24 hours in a day. We will not be able to do it all. We all make mistakes.We hope to recognize them. With a positive growth-perspective, we can plan to manage things differently next time, but we will be sometimes misguided and imperfect people even then. And that’s okay. We are great even in the striving. We wear the clothes well, even if not like a supermodel might.

STEP THREE: RECOGNIZE THAT WE ARE ALL SPECIAL, FLAWS AND ALL

In the words of the inimitable Mr. Rogers, “Whether we’re a preschooler or a young teen, a graduating senior or a retired person, we human beings all want to know that we’re acceptable, that our being alive somehow makes a difference in the lives of others.” Working through the steps of this blog, we hopefully have moved away from shaming ourselves and from listening to a cruel inner critic to instead accepting our own humanity. Now we should move beyond self acceptance to a point of appreciation. Let us even embrace some of our limitations and imperfections.

When I was younger, Christmases in our family were great, complete with baking cookies, singing carols, playing games together, and enjoying Christmas movies. One area in which my child-self felt we might improve, however, had to do with decorations and the spectacle of it all. I had some friends whose families really went “all out” in that area—they had amazing decorations and lights inside and outside their homes, beautifully wrapped gifts topped with bells and elaborate bows, and Christmas morning resplendence as in the opening scene of The Nutcracker Ballet.

One day I asked my mom why we didn’t do more of that. “Daphne, I have our family to tend to, a full-time job, and even night classes—the choice is between my using my scarce free time to decorate our home and fancily wrap gifts or my spending that time enjoying the season with you and our family.” She went on, “I thought it would be best to cherish the time together— don’t you agree?” I really did agree. My mom showed me that— within the limits of our situation—she chose us. This was a wonderful lesson of love that sprung directly from human limitation, and I love and thank her for it.

As for my dad, according to what some parenting books say, my dad was a little too loud, yelled a little too much, and wasn’t measured enough in his reactions to the world around him to fit the bill for their “no-scream” and always- calm parenting principles. He was emotional and ever expressive—(mostly in love and joy, but on occasion in frustration or anger )—a true “spicy Italian,” as my own husband referred to him. We always knew where he stood on any given issue.

Though yell he would, if for example the cat pooped on the white carpet or my sister and I misbehaved or talked back, the other side of his honest expression of emotion was that he was the loudest and biggest declarer of love I have ever known. His voice carried so far that— in any piano recital or dance recital or school awards program or anything— I could always hear my dad’s voice above the others, shouting proudly, “Brava, Daphne!” It wasn’t the volume of his voice, though, that made him so special— it was his passion, eloquence, and most importantly his sincerity. Not just at weddings or parties but also very often in our day to day life, he opened his heart to us. I grew up hearing him express how much he loved me, my sister and my mom, how great he thought we were even in our differences, and how lucky he felt to have us. So actually, the expresssiveness some parenting gurus might call his “imperfection” was just the other side of what made him so incredibly special as a father, the best of fathers, truly.

So no more self-shaming! We are important to our children, even with our constraints and our shortcomings. We strive to show them how special they are, but it is important to turn that support and appreciation inward as well. We are unique, and we make a positive difference.

Let us finish with a boost from Mr. Rogers, a voice truly opposite to that of our harsh self-critics. “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you,” he always said at the end of his shows, “There’s no person in the world like you, and I like you just the way you are.”

Both can be a self-destructive losing battle.

Guilt is a negative emotion and often unhealthy – it can make anyone unhappy, dissatisfied and unproductive. For parents, guilt comes in all forms and I can especially relate to working moms. After all, I’m one myself. According to AmericanProgress.org women make up half of the workforce in the U.S.

Care.com found that 80 percent of working moms feel stressed about balancing child care, work, home and relationships.

It's important to understand there are a multitude of reasons why a mom is in the workplace. Some women may be the sole or primary breadwinner, others work because they can't afford child care and some work because they know that working will help them be a better parent.

It's critical for us as women and mothers not to pass judgement, but rather be supportive of all working women regardless of whether they are an employed mom or a stay at home mom. All mothers are working mothers!

But for the purposes of this article, I will focus on helping employed moms feel better about their decision to work. Often that requires us to look at the definition of what being a good mother is - a good mother is not determined by the number of hours we spend with our children. It's more about ensuring our children that they are wanted, valued and loved.

Working moms, by their example alone, can teach their children the value of hard work, ambition, independence and self-reliance.

The struggle that many working moms ask of themselves, me included, is there a way to balance work and being a mom? While it's a challenge, there are some things that working moms can do to help.

1. First and foremost is to realize we can’t do it all! We absolutely have to let go of some things, especially the unrealistic expectations. It's important to identify every household member’s needs and obligations and to realistically prioritize them. By changing our expectations, we can change other’s expectations of us.
2. We are bombarded with “expert” advice on what we “should” do to be a “good parent.” The bar that has been set for defining what a good parent should do is often ridiculously high and unrealistic. It is critical to remember we do not have to have gourmet meals on the table every night to qualify that we meet the good parent standard. What is most important, as noted previously is to make sure our children know they are very much wanted, loved and valued.
3. We have to enlist everyone’s cooperation and assign responsibilities, even to our children provided they are developmentally appropriate. When our kids were of school age, my husband and I shared the carpool responsibilities, as well as household duties.
4. When we are with our children it's very important to be present and intentional with them. Remove or minimize distractions, be engaged and interested in them. Set aside special time with each child, even if it's a few minutes a day. My son who is a grown man still talks about our hot chocolate/coffee stops as I would take him to elementary school.
5. Create special family activities that nurture each other, but create activities that fit into your schedule and budget. This might be a family board game night, baking cookies or reading a book together. Children also deeply value traditions – creating your own traditions with each child and as a family are very important.
6. Working moms often feel guilty about working and want to make their children happy. Our goal as parents is to raise our children to be responsible adults, which means we set realistic expectations, we assign responsibilities and chores, we follow through with consequences and we teach life lessons.
7. Learn how to set boundaries and how to express those boundaries in a kind way. It’s Ok if you can’t attend every PTA or school function during the day. Communicate that you would love to help and then provide for them the manner in which you can help and in that communication, include your time constraints.
8. Forgive yourself if something does not get accomplished or completed in the manner you had desired. By accepting responsibility and being flexible you are setting an example for your child that we all make mistakes, but we need to be accountable and responsible for them.
9. Create time for yourself and take care of yourself. You will not be good for anyone if you do not take care of yourself.
10. Utilize resources and supports. One of your best resources and support systems are other mothers. Find a local support group on the web or create one with your friends and/or co-workers who can share tips with and/or ask for help and ideas. Find daycares/providers that will assist with homework. Share carpooling responsibilities with other parents. Hire trusted and competent high school or college students to help with facilitating transportation to other activities.

Consider all of these options to help relieve the stress and provide more quality time with your children.

Remember what is most critical is to ensure our children that they are wanted, valued and loved, while raising them to be responsible adults.

The pop superstar gave an interview in the most recent edition of Vanity Fair and talked very frankly about her battle with postpartum depression, following the birth of her son. She said her postpartum depression made her feel "very inadequate" and as if she "made the worst decison of my life."

New moms experience all sorts of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that their non-pregnant selves would never dream of! In the first few weeks after delivering a baby, about 80 percent of women will experience crying for no reason, impatience, irritability, anxiety, fatigue, sadness and trouble concentrating.

When do these feelings extend beyond “normal” and into the danger zone?

According to Diana Lynn Barnes, PsyD, an expert on maternal mental health, these are common feelings expressed by women with postpartum depression:

• No one has ever felt as bad as I do (helplessness)
• I have made a terrible mistake (anxiety)
• I am all alone and no one understands (isolation, withdrawal)
• I’m a failure as a mother, woman, and wife (guilt, diminished self-esteem)
• I will never be myself again (hopelessness)
• I’m losing it (despair)
• Everything is an effort (exhaustion)
• I have such trouble deciding (disorientation, confusion)
• I feel like I have soda fizzing through my veins (anxiety)
• Sometimes I think everyone would be better off without me (suicidal thinking)

Luckily, risk factors for postpartum depression are known, so at-risk women and their families can be proactive about their postpartum mental health. Make sure your pregnancy care provider knows about:

• Personal or family history of depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, postpartum depression or psychosis.
• Personal or family history of thyroid illness, chemical dependency, or alcoholism.
• Premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
• Past experience of trauma (physical, emotional, sexual abuse).

Postpartum psychosis is a serious, life-threatening illness that increases the risk of a mother committing suicide, killing her baby, or abusing or neglecting her baby. It occurs in about 0.1 percent of births, begins suddenly within two weeks of delivery, and may require emergent psychiatric hospitalization. A personal or family history of bipolar disorder, postpartum psychosis, or a previous psychotic episode are the most ominous risk factors, but women without any risk factors can develop postpartum psychosis. If you notice a new mom experiencing these things, it’s time to get help NOW:

1. Strange ideas or beliefs which are often of a religious nature, i.e. receiving prophecies, supernatural baby, evil baby (delusions).
2. Hearing commands.
3. Receiving secret messages from TV, music, books, online, etc.
4. Unwanted and disturbing urges to commit violent or other terrible acts.
5. Hallucinations involving smell, sight, or touch.
6. Intense fear of what she might do and a desire to escape.
7. Inability to sleep, a drastic increase in energy, euphoria (mania).
8. Not making sense when talking, easily distracted (disorganized speech, flight of ideas).
9. Frequent arguments, irritability, annoyance, and conflict with family members.
10. A false idea that people close to them are dishonest, dangerous, or trying to hurt them or their baby (paranoia or suspiciousness).
11. Confusion about where, when, and who they are time (disorientation).
12. Obvious lack of self-care.
13. Feeling unable to care for her baby, or extreme worry that she can’t keep the baby safe.

The great news is that postpartum depression and psychosis can be effectively treated, especially if help is sought early.

• The widely used screening tool - the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale
• Postpartum Support International
• More about Diana Lynn Barnes, PsyD

Unfortunately, stories of mothers harming their children have become far too prevalent in recent years. But there are often times hints a mom may abuse her child.

Joy Crabtree, Psy.D, a licensed psychologist for the Urgent Care and Pediatric Specialties Clinic in Southlake, said there are sometimes warning signs that a mom’s mental health is unstable or depression may be a concern including increased irritability, loss of patience, quick mood changes, excessive energy or extreme fatigue, and a sense of feeling hopeless or overwhelmed.

More serious warning signs, possibly of psychosis, include trouble distinguishing what is and isn’t real, a sense of extreme suspicion or paranoia, and even hearing voices or seeing things other people don’t see.

At times when psychosis or even an extreme depression is present, a woman can have irrational ideas about her baby — such as that the baby is possessed or that she has to hurt herself or her child. This condition can be extremely serious and disabling, and new mothers who are experiencing these symptoms need medical attention right away.

Women who have other psychiatric illnesses, such as bipolar disorder, major depression or schizoaffective disorder, may be at greater risk of developing postpartum mood symptoms. Any significant changes in behavior or bizarre beliefs require immediate medical attention and, often, a brief hospitalization. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms, don’t delay getting medical attention.

“The person who is in the midst of some type of mental health issue likely doesn’t know what is or isn’t reasonable,” Crabtree said. “Family members, friends, teachers, or other professionals in contact with parents need to step in if they feel a person needs help. A child should not be left alone with a parent in crisis. The care of the child then depends on other adults.”

I have to start with an apology.

It’s not that I didn’t care, or wasn’t concerned.

I asked about feedings and dirty diapers. I asked about sleep positioning. I asked about your plans for vaccination. I educated on how to take a temperature and what a fever is, whom you should call when you are concerned.

I know a lot about your baby from our little time together.

But, I often forgot to ask about you.

Sometimes, if you looked particularly tearful, concerned … I don’t know, maybe distraught, I asked how you were doing. You might have said “fine” and I probably left it that.

Recent news reports reminded me that I should be doing better.

Depression affects about 30 percent of women between 18 and 44 years of age. I don’t want to get bogged down with more stats, but about 15 percent of women in their reproductive years take antidepressants. Most experts agree that untreated depression carries much more risk to babies than medications for depression. Studies have shown mixed results with most indicating that they are safe and others indicating a slight increase in risk for birth defects.

A special US Preventative Service Task Force report stated that all adults should be screened for depression but placed particular emphasis on the importance of screening pregnant and new moms. They conclude that screening should be implemented “with adequate systems in place to ensure accurate diagnosis, effective treatment, and appropriate follow-up.”

If new moms should be screened for depression, who is going to do it if I don’t? Many don’t go back to their obstetricians until six weeks. What doctor are they seeing in the mean time? Who is going to screen them for postpartum depression? It has to be me.

Many pediatricians do this very well. They have built a system in place and screening has been part of their process for years.

Those of us who didn’t have many reasons…

Other priorities took over.

Checkup times are too short.

We’re not sure what we would do when we identified someone with postpartum depression.

But none of those are good excuses.

Because of this, I promise to work to develop a system that works.

I have to.

For you and for your baby.

I will report back with more soon.

Sincerely,

PS. Symptoms of postpartum depression can include:

• Increased irritability
• Loss of patience
• Quick mood changes
• Excessive energy or extreme fatigue
• A sense of feeling hopeless or overwhelmed

If you are someone you know is suffering from these symptoms, please ask for help from someone. Start with a friend or a doctor but do not suffer in silence. There are resources available.

8 isn't enough ... life with 9 children

Nine children, ages 3 to 19 years old, make Mother’s Day a pretty special time for Kristy Goodnight. After all, that’s a lot of hugs and kisses to go around ... But when you consider each child has his or her own special needs, life can be amazingly hectic and difficult. And what’s the biggest challenge for the mom of nine? Click to read more.

Dr. Mom: How motherhood changed me as a pediatrician

After completing 24 years of schooling and medical training, you’d think that once I graduated from pediatric residency, I’d know a thing or two about the health of children. And I did. I knew a lot ... Then, I was blessed to have a beautiful son...who decided that I needed to be re-taught a few things about children.

And by a few things, I mean everything. Click to read more.

How being a mom shaped her practice

I am a better pediatrician because I have experienced life as a mom. I know the tears and tiredness of a new mom and so when she cries at the new baby check I can tell her it's normal and she believes me. Click to read more. Click to read more.

So how do you find “father time?”

Healthy father-child interaction can involve any number of activities, including playing a board game or video game together, attending or coaching the child’s sports games, or chaperoning a class field trip, party or school dance.

“Spending time together sends the message that you are interested in your child and enjoy his or her company,” said Joy Crabtree, Psy.D., licensed psychologist at Cook Children’s Urgent Care and Pediatric Specialties Center in Southlake. “Creating these positive memories is crucial to your child’s emotional development.”

Crabtree said it’s also important to incorporate quality time into casual, everyday experiences. Bring your child along to run errands, and let him or her help you with light yard work and other chores around the house.

For young boys especially, “goofing off” and appropriate roughhousing help instill a sense of trust in dads, which may promote healthy behaviors later in life.

“Boys tend to imitate their fathers’ parenting styles when they grow up and become fathers themselves,” Crabtree said. “For girls, having regular fatherly interaction can help quell inappropriate attention seeking behavior in their teenage years.”

I don’t have to look at a watch to know when it’s time for lunch. At around 11:30 a.m. my stomach starts to grumble. I’m ready to eat.

My gut kicked in once again on a Tuesday when my phone rang at 11 in the morning. It was my son’s school. Trouble.

The school nurse, who I have become all too familiar with, was on the line. She told me “Mr. Jack” had bumped heads with another little boy during a game of tag. Jack bled a bit from his mouth, his gums were swollen and his left front tooth was loose. He wants everyone to know that he didn’t cry.

Overall, he was OK, but now my kindergartner needed to go to the dentist to get checked out. Only one problem – I didn’t know the name of his dentist, what her practice was called or the phone number to reach her. I guess technically, that’s three problems, but you get the idea.

My wife flew to Washington D.C. over the weekend for work. She makes this annual trip and during that time I realize how helpless and hopeless I am. As a product of a single mother, I also tend to make more calls to my mom than normal just to say thanks.

As I write this, my wife’s on her way home, but here’s a quick overview of how the two men in her life fared while she was away:

Saturday – I totally caved and bought Jack unnecessary toys that I would have said no to if I had my wife there to back me up. Honestly, I didn’t want to hear him complain. Wimp. Not him. Me.

Sunday – We had cereal for breakfast, a few chicken nuggets from the golden arches for lunch and a flag football game that afternoon. Then that evening, Jack totally ratted me out to his grandparents at a dinner they made for the two bachelors. “I’m starving,” he said. When asked why, he told my wife’s parents how little he had eaten that day.

Monday – We had cereal for breakfast and dinner. That evening, we went out for Jack to work on his bike riding skills. There’s a challenging hill near our house that he’s had trouble conquering. With his helmet safely on, he asked if I would catch him if he fell. I told him I would do my best. He aced the hill. I strategically cut down sidewalk to be there for him as he rounded the corner. The only problem was that he didn’t round the corner. His momentum took him off the path and face first into the grass. As he lay motionless, I hate to admit this, but my first thought was, “His mom is going to kill me!” Jack was OK. Thank you God. He hurt his nose and his knee was scraped up a bit. He cried (don’t tell him I told you), but he was Ok overall. At least physically. That night he had a nightmare that I’m pretty sure was because of the fall and probably new found trust issues with his father.

Tuesday – We’ve covered it. But one thing I really do want to point out in all seriousness, dads know your emergency contact numbers and know the numbers of everyone you may need to call just in case.

Wednesday – Mommy’s coming home! My son can’t wait. He told me this morning that he was going to give her a big hug as soon as he saw her. Me too. 

This video about the #WorldsToughestJob went viral last week.  If you haven't watched it yet, please do, it is worth your time.

In thinking about this video, I thought of #AnotherToughJob that I thought I would write a job description for:

• Able to deal with people when they are at the end of their stress level, operating on very little sleep and have been waiting to see you or talk with you for hours.
• Able to deal with a boss who has a strong personality and convince them to complete tasks (i.e. filling out forms) when they would rather be doing something else (i.e. playing golf).
• Able to let said boss take all the credit when something goes right but force you to be the bad guy day after day.
• Able to deal with very messy situations - no exemption from poop, pee or puke exposure.
• Able to skip lunch or go without a potty break for hours should "special circumstances" arise (like most days).
• Able to deal with very sad situations and be a person of support even when you feel very sad yourself.

It's not all bad though...

Perks include:

• Dealing with the coolest people in the world-our patients and their parents.
• Watching a child grow to be a young adult (and eventually a parent themselves).
• Watching children who are sick return to health.
• Working with other great people who love children as much as you do.

So, say a special "Thank You" to all of our amazing nurses at Cook Children's.  

From our primary care offices to inpatient to specialty to home health, we have some of the best nurses in the country!

Leave comments for your favorite nurses and we'll pass the message along!