I am against giving phones as gifts because a gift signifies ownership. It has been made clear in our household that when he does receive a smartphone, it will be a privilege, not a gift, and the phone will belong to me and his mother, on our plan, paid for by family funds. Before we go further, please understand that my wife has a Juris Doctorate and was a practicing attorney prior to having children. So, my kids are well versed in making sound arguments.

With this in mind, he did come at us with a well thought out argument. He expressed his understanding of certain rules we have shared with him from previous queries, listing would-be imposed limits and other restrictions. He eloquently delivered his argument with style and grace – and then my wife and I used even more eloquence to deny his request with mutual style and grace. Although we have shared our age restriction with him in the past, I suppose he didn’t see any harm in trying. Our agreed upon age for his first phone is 12.

Giving him a bit of credit for his argument, I decided to do a little more research from angles outside of my expertise. I found several articles on the subject. A new report from Influence Central’s 2016 Digital Trends Study titled, “Kids & Tech: The Evolution of Today’s Digital Natives”  found the average now for getting a first phone is 10.3 years old.

With what I do for a living, and as a parent, I found information from the report interesting:

• Twenty-seven percent of parents now use online programs to control and filter sites or platforms, compared to 23 percent four years earlier. Parents, I highly recommend doing this. Click here and see the helpful links to learn more on my thoughts on this topic.
• Not enough parents are using smartphones’ GPS to track down their kids, but parents are catching on – the number increased to 15 percent in 2016, compared to only 7 in 2012.
• Fifty percent of kids have social media accounts by age 12 and 11 percent got a social media account when they were younger than 10. If I’m not ready to let my son have a smartphone at 10, I’m sure not ready for him to dive into social media.

I understand it’s beneficial for some parents to allow access to a mobile phone at a younger age than others – if the phone is limited. In our situation, we really don’t need our boys to have phones. My wife homeschools our kids, we live out in the country and use two-way radios on property. We don’t drop them off at places such as malls or theme parks on their own. Sure, those days will come, but not just yet. Families will differ greatly. Both parents may work, the kids may ride the bus home after school, etc.

Allowing a young child to have full use of a smartphone can lead to trouble. I am a little leery about 12 years old, so I would definitely not recommend it for a child under that age without heavy restrictions. Free apps that can be easily downloaded can allow the child to meet total strangers online. A child that young simply doesn’t have the maturity level to deal with the types of situations they are likely to encounter.

If you do find yourself in a situation where your younger child having a cell phone would bring peace of mind and make your life easier, go basic. Get the cheapest, most basic phone offered, do not allow data usage, and limit the phones ability to call other phone numbers. Once you have the phone, you can log onto your providers website (Sprint, AT&T, T-Mobile, etc.) and set restrictions on the phone. And, yes, you can limit the phone’s ability to only be able to call you and your spouse’s numbers, grandparents, neighbors, etc.

For my wife and I, we have the luxury of waiting until we are reasonably sure he is mature enough to handle the responsibility. But, if we did have a need for him to have a phone now, it would be very limited.

Rest assured, once that day comes, I will be monitoring his activity closely.

Related links

• To Spy Or Not To Spy?
• Want to protect your kids from online predators? Be a snoop.
• 7 dangerous Apps that parents need to know
• 7 things that make an App dangerous
• Uncovering the risks of cell phones

The troubling trend I have noticed is with a parental mindset that more equates to a “bestie” than a mom or dad. Your child is not an adult. I am not a child psychologist, so I will not wade through those waters. But, from a perspective of someone who performs root cause analysis of incidents, I must say there are dangers associated with a lax parental structure.

I could give a thousand examples of situations where your child should not have total privacy in their lives. Do you keep up with your child’s grades in school or simply leave it up to them to pass or fail? Do you ask them where they are going when they leave the house or do they have complete privacy and freedom to go wherever they want? Would you want to know if they were getting into something dangerous or making a bad life choice?

I do not understand the opposition; but, I do recognize there are those in opposition to using spyware to keep tabs on what their kids are doing online. All I can say to such opposition is I simply do not agree. This does not mean that I am going to read every conversation they have with their friends. This does not mean I am going to keep track of every single detail of every single site they visit. I am keeping eyes on their activity and can be in a position to recognize when I may need to step in and give guidance.

In performing research on the subject and talking to experts regarding child online safety, a few things tend to float to the surface of the sea of information.

1. You tend to get very few physical queues. Picture your child sitting on the couch with their face aglow from the light of their iPad. What are they doing? They could be watching a music video or chatting with a stranger. Switching from one activity to another does not tend to change their outward appearance or mannerisms. I call this the virtually induced poker face.
2. They feel secure in their environment.  They say hindsight is twenty-twenty. This one can be difficult to explain, so let me put it this way: If your child were in a dark alley and was being approached by the silhouette of a large man, they may become apprehensive, keep their guard up, or become standoffish and not be willing to participate in a conversation. However, if your child feels physically secure in the comfort of your home, they may be more than willing to participate in that conversation. That could lead to them being groomed by a predator.
3. A child doesn’t typically recognize the dangers until it is too late. Online predators are not stupid. While they are morally bankrupt, malicious, calloused, brazen and cruel, the successful ones can be rather intelligent. They are master manipulators with a ton of patience and have the tenacity to stick with a target. They find weaknesses and play on them. They weasel their way into a relationship with the child. They comfort them, take their side on issues, and lure them in. By the time your child recognizes they are in danger, it could be too late.

There are real and proven dangers to allowing a child to have complete privacy and freedom in the virtual world.

I don’t like to cite applications in articles because these articles tend to live on when apps die, the name gets changed, or something even better comes along. However, I will make an exception in this case. Currently, my top pick for spyware in regards to monitoring children is PhoneSheriff. PhoneSheriff has the ability to monitor and alert on a large variety of activity, it offers extensive alert and restriction functionality, and is compatible with any major device type.

Another really good spyware product is Mobistealth. While MobiStealth may be prettier, it is also more expensive than PhoneSheriff and, for me, it has one major weakness. MobiStealth does not give you “Geofencing”. Geofencing allows you to set alerts based on the geographical location of the device. An example of this would be setting up a geofence for your child’s school and another geofence for your home. If your child is supposed to leave school at around 4 p.m. and be home at around 4:30 p.m, you would be alerted when your child (device in hand) left the school and when they arrived home. If the times are off, you would know.

As I stated, these recommendations may change over time. Depending on when you read this, you may need to search for “Best Spyware Apps” and do a little research on your own.

Just remember, you are the parent. If your child has a phone or other device, it is because you allowed them to have that device. I do not recommend giving such devices as gifts and I make it crystal clear to my kids that they are borrowing my phone that is on my plan that is paid for by me and I can shut it off anytime I wish. I do not allow them to have passwords I do not know, I do not allow them to lock me out of the phone, I do not allow them to take the phone to the bathroom or their bedroom with the door closed, and I also have a rule that the phone must be charged at night in my bedroom.

I suggest a combination of prevention and monitoring.

Happy parenting and good luck!

The problem is these apps simply aren’t for children under any circumstance and can lead to tragic consequences.

On Feb. 11, a 44-year-old Arlington man was arrested of sexually assaulting four students in the Keller ISD.

Reports say the man met the girls through a website called Seeking/Arrangement.com. Other sites parents should be concerned about include Grindr, Tinder and KIK.

“The problem with these message apps is that it’s really hard to find the perpetrators after they use them,” said Jamye Coffman, M.D., pediatrician and medical director for Cook Children’s Advocacy Resource and Evaluation. “That information is difficult to find. So it can be very anonymous. It’s very dangerous for teenagers because they don’t really know who is on the other side.”

With the GPS devices on the apps of these sites, your teenage kid could give a complete stranger the location of your home. They may come into mom and dad’s home without you even knowing it. 

Coffman said that the reason for the bad judgment can be directly related to basic science.

“Teenagers and younger-aged children just aren’t able from a developmental standpoint to really grasp the consequences of what they are doing,” Coffman said. “Their frontal lobe of their brain hasn’t finished developing. Their impulse control is not very good. It’s up to the parents to know what their kids are up to. They have to know what’s on their child’s phone. Parents need to look at their phones and see what apps they’re using and talk to them about it.”

And with kids becoming more tech savvy in elementary school, the need for conversations about predators and sex must begin at an earlier age than ever before.

“The goal is to get them to adulthood, right? Where they can learn and make their own decisions,” Coffman said. “They do have to have natural consequences. That’s the only way they are going to learn. So you do have to let them have some consequences but you don’t want it to be something that’s either life threatening or life altering. As a parent, you can’t allow that to happen. It’s hard as a parent to talk to your kid about sex and the dangers out there. It’s really hard to have those open, non-judgmental conversations. It may be your pediatrician, if you aren’t able to have that conversation. But someone has to talk to them. It’s too important to just ignore the issues facing our kids these days.”

Parents, want to keep your children away from predators? Then be a snoop.

That’s the advice of Dr. Coffman, who is not just talking as an expert in caring for and knowing the signs of abused children, she’s speaking as a mom.

“Parents need to be nosy,” Coffman said. “Your kids may say, ‘It’s my phone.” But you’re paying for it. It’s what I used to tell my kids growing up. If you live in my home, there is no supposition that you are going to have privacy. There is no privacy if I’m paying your bills. I have the right to go in your room. I have the right to look at your phone. I have the right to look in your backpack. I have the right to look in your mattress and in the ceiling tiles and anywhere else you might hide stuff because it’s my house. I think parents are hesitant to take that role. They are so conflicted in what’s Ok and what’s not Ok for their child’s privacy. It’s just a concern for safety. If it’s something that’s a safety issue, you have a right to know.”

Jody Hawkins, Information Security Officer at Cook Children’s, seconds Dr. Coffman’s sentiments regarding privacy of children. In presentations that he gives to parents, Hawkins cautions parents to lay down the rule early.

“This is my phone, on my plan, and I pay the bills,” he said. “If you do not follow my rules, then I stop paying for the phone you are borrowing from me. If I stop paying, the phone stops working. It’s as simple as that.

Hawkins encourages spyware to be installed on children’s phones by the parents. He asks parents, “Would you allow your child to take a stranger into the bathroom, lock the door and have no worries? They usually answer, ‘No.’ I then tell them that if they allow the child to take the phone into the bathroom with no monitoring, they could very well be doing it all the time.”

It’s the world we live in today. If you want to protect your children parents, be a snoop.

I suppose, being an ex-soldier and a father, I do have some experience; however, I am not a political analyst, a military history buff, nor a philosopher who dwells deeply on the meaning of such things. This being an oft politicized issue, it can be controversial for some.

So, before I begin, allow me to say these are solely my views expressed as an ex-soldier and a loving father.

In order for my children to truly understand, they must first learn to appreciate life and all of the comforts and freedoms they have. I must teach them to appreciate these things while also teaching them that not everyone in the world has as much. I must teach them fairness, honor, integrity, and the value of hard work.

I must teach them that life is not a race to obtain more than others; rather, it is a balance where your achievements should be measured internally, not outwardly. While this lesson is being learned, I must nurture a caring spirit within them. I must, by example, show them how to empathize and sympathize with others. In order for them to understand, they must also be able to empathize with the pain, suffering, hunger, of others.

Once my children are mature enough to begin to understand, I show them the freedoms we have in the United States of America. I give them examples of life goals they may wish to set for themselves and how they have the freedom to work hard to chase their dreams. Once I feel they truly appreciate everything they have while empathizing with those who do not, only then do I explain why men and women join the military, for only then can they truly appreciate the sacrifice people are willing to make in order to preserve our way of life.

The military is not for everyone and I know no soldier who harbors any disrespect for anyone who does not join. It is quite the opposite. Most soldiers join because they feel deep patriotism, they value the rights and freedoms we have in the United States of America, and they care deeply about preserving those rights and freedoms for everyone in this country.

As for Memorial Day, it is not about honoring soldiers; rather, it is about remembering and honoring those men and women who paid the ultimate price for our freedoms. They were mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, daughters and sons who gave their lives defending our rights and freedoms.

Some people might say that Memorial Day should not be an excuse to have a picnic with your family or to throw a barbecue. I don’t see it that way. While I think we should acknowledge those fallen soldiers who fought for our freedoms, I also think celebrating those freedoms, building bonds with family and friends, and rejoicing in the fact that those freedoms are still ever present is the best way to honor them.

With that, I bid you a Happy Memorial Day!

About the author

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer, has been in technology for medical facilities since early 2000 and has been practicing for more than 20 years with his start in the United States Air Force. He is a part of Cook Children's Experts on Call Speakers Bureau. Hawkins specializes in privacy and technology safety and is a regular speaker at the National HIT/HIPAA Conference. He has been quoted and published in several national publications, including Health Information Management Magazine.

Hawkins' can speak on a variety of security topics facing our children & parents today, including:

• Social media
• Cyber bullying
• Sexting
• Safety online (Parents & Child)
• General home networking security
• Virtual Child (Parents)
• Internet Safety (Parents & Child)

We all know about Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. All three are great resources to stay updated with people and news. But even those old favorites come with concerns if your child posts something inappropriate that can be damaging to their reputation and may have forever consequences.

But what about the latest apps?

Jody Hawkins, Information Security Officer at Cook Children’s, gives his thoughts on the benefits and dangers of today’s social media, depending on the way it’s used. Below is a list of social media platforms and apps with brief explanations of what to look out for as a parent. We begin with looking at the latest app that could pose danger to your kids – Periscope.

Periscope – Hawkins calls this “possibly the next worst app for Kids.” Periscope is a new iPhone app that allows users to share real time videos on Twitter. Currently it is only available on iPhone; but Hawkins expects that to change soon. The problems are quickly rising for parents and kids.

Twitter has pushed Periscope into production to get ahead of the competition in hot pursuit. A lot of work has been done in regards to privacy, safety and keeping offensive language off the comments. By default, Periscope uses your GPS location and allows any users on Twitter to know your location while shooting video.

“Think about that, parents. Your child posts a video and every creeper in the world can suddenly see where he or she lives,” Hawkins said. “When Periscope first launched, the locator would allow others to ‘zoom in’ on the location and see an actual intersection. That feature has since been disabled; however, the location given is still in the neighborhood of where the user is located.”

Pros: Twitter is a fun and interesting app when used appropriately. The live-streaming app makes it easy for users to track broadcasts from friends, as well as streams of people from around the world. Users can watch live and recorded broadcasts and make a friend’s list and look at a global tab. You can block spam and it’s easier now to block any annoying comments.

Cons: Currently, Periscope allows anybody to say anything which could include cyber-bullying and inappropriate comments. Online, anonymity encourages juvenile behavior and brings out the worst in some people. Even if a child turns off the GPS location device, a predator familiar with the area where the child is walking will know how to locate him or her.

Hawkins says: “Through trial and error, I am sure Periscope will improve in regards to monitoring posts and better protecting user’s privacy. However, even with improvement, this app is not for kids. For now, it is what it is – another concern for parents.”

Social media apps are geared toward young adults and adults. The app creators and companies like Google, Twitter, Facebook, etc. are catering to the broadest audience possible. Too many limitations on apps like Periscope and they lose their adult users. That means it’s up to parents to monitor their children’s usage of such apps. The permanence of things posted to the Internet can be a danger for anyone; however, it is especially dangerous when in the hands of a child who hasn’t developed a more mature sense of reasoning.

As if you didn’t have enough to worry about as a parent these days, here are eight apps to be aware of that your kids may be using:

1. Hot or Not – This app allows you to upload pictures of yourself while other people in your area vote on whether you are “hot” or not. You can vote on others in your area as well.

Pros: There are no benefits for children to use this app.

Cons: If someone scores badly, this can damage a teenager’s self-esteem. Chat is available and connections can be made with strangers.

Hawkins says: He describes this app as a “game of sorts” for kids, but it can be a risky one. In an attempt to receive a higher score, users often resort to posting risqué pictures.

2. Badoo – This social/dating app promotes the idea of meeting new people, sharing interests and even dating. It’s a way to make connections with people who share similar characteristics and you can search for people nearby. Users have to pay monthly.

Pros: If you are an adult, it’s an outlet to socialize with others who share the same interests as you.

Cons: It allows you to find people nearby to chat with and leads to meeting strangers. Badoo uses GPS technology, making it easy for predators to find your child.

Hawkins says: He would not recommend this app for the under 18 aged crowd due to the risks.

3. Palringo & 4. Tango – Both of these social messaging apps allow users to meet people from all over the globe. Palringo is a group chat app that lets you create social groups based on mutual interests and allows you to send messages to the entire group or chat one-on-one. Discussions can range from topics about sports to adult content. Tango lets you talk, text, call and video chat with friends or strangers all over the world for free.

Pros: People can find like-minded friends from all over the world. Think an international, accessible pen pal.

• Palringo can lead to discussing about inappropriate topics and predators may use these apps to meet children

Hawkins says: Both apps are good for meeting people you would never otherwise meet and finding people who can talk about your interest. Younger children shouldn’t be involved and even teens who participate should only do so in groups appropriate for their age group and with careful adult supervision.

5. Tinder – This dating app allows users to connect with new and interesting people around you. This app lets people see images of other users— you swipe right to like the picture or swipe left to pass. If someone likes you back, then it’s a match. After the match is created, you have the option to chat with the individual by phone.

Pros: There are no benefits for children to use this app.

Cons: This promotes meeting other like-minded adults and bases a “match” from physical looks.

Hawkins says: “I see this as more of a dating app for people aged 18 and older and I would not recommend it for younger teens.”

6. Grindr – This social media app is aimed toward gay, bisexual and bi-curious men. This app uses your mobile’s location-based services to show you Grindr guys close in your area.

Pros: Provides an outlet for an adult male to be comfortable with his sexuality and connect with others. But the key word in the previous sentence is “adult.”

• Can lead to kids meeting with adults and all the dangers involved. This is not Ok for kids. In fact, it’s very dangerous.

Hawkins says: “If your son has this app, I suppose the closet door is open” and parents may take this opportunity to talk sexuality and risks with their children. As with all dating apps, Hawkins would not suggest this for people under 18 years old due to the likelihood of meeting up with adults.

7. Chat Roulette – This is an online chat website that pairs random people together to video chat. Every time you begin a new chat, you never know who you are going to come face-to-face with.

Pros: There are no benefits for children to use this app.

Cons: The user can encounter people eliciting inappropriate acts. You never know what will pop up on the screen.

Hawkins says: The first thing listed on the app’s download page says it all – “Warning! For adults only!” Hawkins encourages parents to be aware of what their children are viewing online and really take part in their lives, including what they are doing online. This social outlet is not recommended for the under 18 year old age group.

8. Fake-a-Text -This app allows the user to set who the text is to look like it’s from, what the text will say, and when it will be sent.

Pros: Children can impress their friends and look cool by looking like a celebrity texts them.

Cons: This can hurt reputations and upset friends by tricking them. This app also encourages lying.

Hawkins says: “This is a teen’s dream if they want to fool their friends,” Hawkins says. This “evil little app of deception” can hurt the reputation of a real person. For example: a teenage boy can convince his friends that a real girl sent a sexual text, even though she didn’t, and this can harm her reputation.

Social media has its benefits, but those benefits can come with drawbacks. Tell your child to be cautious about the information he/she is putting out there in the online world. You also might want to have the “stranger danger” talk again with a reminder to be careful about the people he/she is chatting with online. Finding the right balance with what you share online and what you keep private is key in the social media domain. Give them a certain time frame to log-in and make sure it’s on a computer that you can view.

- Article written by Amanda Burmeister

About the source

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer, has been in technology for medical facilities since early 2000 and has been practicing for more than 20 years with his start in the United States Air Force. He is a part of Cook Children's Experts on Call Speakers Bureau. Hawkins specializes in privacy and technology safety and is a regular speaker at the National HIT/HIPAA Conference. He has been quoted and published in several national publications, including Health Information Management Magazine.

Hawkins' can speak on a variety of security topics facing our children & parents today, including:

• Social media
• Cyber bullying
• Sexting
• Safety online (Parents & Child)
• General home networking security
• Virtual Child (Parents)
• Internet Safety (Parents & Child)

It took that long to outrage a country from what was seen and heard by members of Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity at the University of Oklahoma chanting a racial epithet on a bus.

While the video shows that we haven’t progressed as far as most of us would like as a society, it also proves once again that our children need to learn the life-changing consequences of going viral.

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer at Cook Children’s, gives a presentation to children called, “The Virtual World.” He explains the permanence of everything we post to the Internet.

“Like a face tattoo, the things your child posts to the Internet in public forums could be discoverable by potential college recruiters, employers or those out to paint your child’s character in a negative way,” Hawkins said. “What does your child aspire to be when he or she grows up? Are the things your children are doing on the Internet today going to have a negative impact on that career choice?”

Considering the speed of today’s technology, it’s important for kids to understand that everything they do is permanent, even if it’s been deleted. Thanks to screen shots, a careless text message can be frozen in time and put on social networking sites, forever subject to public scrutiny.

Hawkins recommends parents talk with their kids and express the need for self-control when they interact with others, even when they aren’t speaking face-to-face. Explain the importance of cooling off before sending that angry text message, commenting on a blog or posting an aggressive Facebook status. And if someone is doing something inappropriate, walk away or don’t participate. Everyone has a recording device in their hands these days.

A study from the University of Massachusetts’ Center for Market Research found that 21 percent of college admissions offices research their applicants via social media sites. An offensive blog post could overrule a stellar SAT score and change a university’s admission invitation.

“Kids don’t think about the harms they could be causing themselves,” Hawkins said. “They tend to have this, ‘Look ma, no hands’ mentality while we watch them and freak out. But those split second decisions can have forever consequences.”

About the source

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer, has been in technology for medical facilities since early 2000 and has been practicing for more than 20 years with his start in the United States Air Force. He is a part of Cook Children's Experts on Call Speakers Bureau. Hawkins specializes in privacy and technology safety and is a regular speaker at the National HIT/HIPAA Conference. He has been quoted and published in several national publications, including Health Information Management Magazine.

Hawkins' can speak on a variety of security topics facing our children & parents today, including:

• Social media
• Cyber bullying
• Sexting
• Safety online (Parents & Child)
• General home networking security
• Virtual Child (Parents)
• Internet Safety (Parents & Child)

I love to watch them play and have fun, but I’m not watching them every single second. I’m usually reading something on my laptop and I glance up here and there to see what they’re up to. More often than not, they’re pausing to get the rules straight before they conquer that which would destroy us all. However, I have found myself jumping from my seat and running to the back patio door to tell them to stop! Why? Because I notice them doing something with their sticks that has a high potential to hurt one or both of them.

In and of itself a stick is not dangerous. A stick is a stick. You can poke in the mud with it, you can use it to imagine slaying dragons, or you could run with it out in front of you (the tip only inches above the ground, bobbing with every stride) and potentially impale yourself with said stick. Or, you could witness your 4-year-old swinging his stick wildly as the 8 year old, backing up to prevent being struck, stumbles over a toy wheelbarrow while the 4-year-old continues his assault. That’s what got my attention.

So, let’s talk about sticks … I mean apps. It’s the same conversation. Sticks come in all shapes and sizes. Some may be too big for my 4-year-old to handle; however, being a bit older, my 8-year-old may not have a problem with a slightly larger stick. Comparing this to apps on the tablets, my 4-year old does not understand some of the games my 8-year-old might play; but, he loves Reading Eggs®! But, since my 8-year-old is reading chapter books, Reading Eggs® (which helped him at one time) is now a “boring baby game.” For one, the stick is too small. For the other, the stick is just right.

As they grow older, they will want to delve into apps that challenge their maturity level and hold their attention. In the tween years, they will become more and more enthralled with social apps. On into the teen years, connecting with friends will more than likely become far more important than playing Cut the Rope® or Where’s My Water?®. It’s during these transitional periods that we’ll want to glance up from the kitchen table to take a quick peek into the virtual backyard. Knowing how to do this is half the battle.

Any app – even ones designed specifically for the facilitation of risky behavior – can be used in a way that is benign. All children are different and most are going to push the boundaries at some point or another. It’s our job as parents to guide them. In order to guide them, we need to be able to “glance up” to see what they are doing. Are they using social media apps? Are they playing games? What apps do they have loaded on the device? Are they chatting with strangers? What information are they giving out? I could keep adding questions. First, let’s talk about the most dangerous app of all.

Depending on their temperament, maturity level, risk taking, decision making skills, and overall attitude, the most dangerous app could be between your child’s ears. On the flip-side, it could also be the best security app available. Apps are not dangerous. Impaling yourself with apps is dangerous. Teaching your child good decision making skills and helping them to keep their compass as north as possible is the number one best way to prevent harm, period. In order to do that, you have to be able to “glance up” to ensure the compass needle is not falling.

There are two ways to secure a mobile device. One way is preventative security. Net Nanny® is a great app for enforcing parental controls for younger children. It prevents the errant Youtube video from introducing your child to inappropriate content as they follow the rabbit hole after searching for Spiderman. As they get older (and a bit wiser), preventative security measures lose their potency and can lead to a false sense of security for the parent. That’s why I recommend monitoring software.

There are several monitoring software packages available and, as with apps in the app stores, they are a moving target. iSpyoo® for iOS and Android (and other mobile phones) has received an “outstanding” editor’s rating on CNET.com. The review (which can be found on the CNET.com site and a search for iSpyoo) is for Android specifically; however, iSpyoo’s website boasts that “iSpyoo works on all mobile phones and networks from around the world.” Whichever monitoring software you choose, ensure it (1) cannot be detected by your child and (2) can send periodic alerts to your email address. A quick scan of the activity could either set your mind at ease or raise red flags. However, in order for this to work, you must maintain ownership of the device.

As a security professional with over 20 years of experience, I am 100 percent against giving smartphones, tablets, and other devices as gifts unless the rules are laid out appropriately. My rule is that, until you are on your own, you are borrowing MY device. I am the administrator and you are my child. That phone is on MY data plan and, while I did name it as your phone on the carrier’s website, I still pay the bills and I can cancel at any time. If you lay these rules out from the beginning, you could potentially run into far fewer problems down the road.

The bottom line is, yes, there are apps on the markets that give us concern. Some apps can be used for setting up a rendezvous with a stranger in a dark alley. If I were to tell you about specific apps today, I would miss the ones that will be coming out next week, month, or year. In all of my research and expertise, I still have not figured out how to definitively foretell the future. I can predict with a high degree of certainty, however, that there will be more apps coming. Keeping track of what your child does on their phones, tablets or computers will always be the best way to protect them. Just remember to bring your own stick to the game.

About the author

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer, has been in technology for medical facilities since early 2000 and has been practicing for more than 20 years with his start in the United States Air Force. He is a part of Cook Children's Experts on Call Speakers Bureau. Hawkins specializes in privacy and technology safety and is a regular speaker at the National HIT/HIPAA Conference. He has been quoted and published in several national publications, including Health Information Management Magazine.

Hawkins' can speak on a variety of security topics facing our children & parents today, including:

• Social media
• Cyber bullying
• Sexting
• Safety online (Parents & Child)
• General home networking security
• Virtual Child (Parents)
• Internet Safety (Parents & Child)

Maybe, that’s the case, but how do you keep your child safe? Before you purchase a phone for your child, we asked Jody Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer for Cook Children’s Health Care System in Fort Worth, Texas, for a few tips on children owning (or not) a cell phone.

Q: Should I give a cell phone to my child as a gift?

A: Jody advises against cell phones as gifts. He believes parents can establish better boundaries if the phone is presented to the child as belonging to the parent. The parent sets the rules, monitors and guides the child on how to safely use it. A good way of monitoring what apps are installed is to not allow the child to have the password. If the child wants a new app, the parent must enter the password.

Q: Is everything my child posts on the Internet permanent?

A: Yes, for the most part. Some apps and sites have security settings that can be set to “private;” however, these take constant monitoring. Regardless of the site or the settings, if someone can share the post, it becomes very permanent. Once a post is shared, you lose control over the content. Potentially everything your child posts online can be seen now and years to come by people like college recruiters and potential employers.

Q: How can I limit who my child texts?

A: Most of the larger carriers allow you to limit data, text, and calling per individual phone on the account. Parents can contact their cell phone service provider or go to their online account to see what controls are offered.

If you have more questions about cell phones and keeping kids safe, please let us know.