In today’s society, social media is a major part of life for all age groups. While some use the platforms to keep up with family and friends, others use the sites for networking and job hunting. For those 18 and younger, social media has changed the way young people communicate with each other, often leading to inappropriate use, and bullying among other things.

As part of Cook Children’s Joy Campaign, which aims to reduce the number of children and teens attempting suicide, we’re looking at the role social media plays in the mental well-being of young people.

Kristen Pyrc, M.D., medical director of Psychiatry Outpatient Services and the Partial Hospitalization Program at Cook Children’s, says the number of her patients dealing with anxiety and depression has significantly increased over the past year. She’s concerned that social media is playing a role, especially during the pandemic when young people are online more than ever.

“I have seen an increase in depression symptoms in teenagers who had not had them before,” Dr.Pyrc said. “So maybe I regularly see them for something like ADHD, and now they are showing symptoms of depression on top of that.”

Dr. Pyrc said she often hears complaints from parents that their children are ‘tied’ to their phones. She believes a major problem with that is a lack of exposure to seeing friends in person, and the opportunity for kids to feel left out when they see peers online having fun without them.

“I think online culture can worsen students’ feelings of loneliness and rejection because they see their friends doing things together without them in real time,” she explained. “Also we tend to post things that highlight what’s going well in our lives, but may not tell the full story of the times that we feel sad or inadequate. When teens are feeling down, seeing everyone else having fun without them can make them feel worse.”

Katie Greer, an internet safety expert, has spent the past 15+ years educating students, parents, law enforcement, and large companies across the country about the importance of online safety.

“I have seen social media used to bring out the best in humanity, but I have also seen it rip families apart in a matter of minutes,” she said.

Greer, who began her work as the director of Internet Safety with the Massachusetts Attorney General’s Office, believes social media has evolved in ways no one was ready for. Not so long ago, bullying was something that happened mostly at school. Now, young people are bullied online, in front of countless people. Even worse, a bully’s comments can be liked and shared by others.

“Kids were already spending a lot of time on their phones and online, then came a global pandemic. Now, they’re attending school online and relying on things like gaming online and social media platforms to connect,” Greer said. “There’s a lot more opportunity for cyberbullying and while it can start with one person, it can be a matter of seconds for others to jump in with a like or a comment and gang up on the victim.”

Situations like this increase a child’s chances of dealing with anxiety, depression, and self-harm.

“We know that developmentally, children’s brains aren’t fully formed,” she said. “When we put something in front of them as complex as social media, it’s almost as if we are asking for trouble.”

Greer also warns parents about the newfound TikTok culture.

“TikTok is a platform that has created unrealistic expectations about everyday life,” she explained.

She said children and teens see their peers or influencers having “perfect” lives and begin to feel as if they’re inadequate, or aren’t enough or worth it.

“Children have a desire to fit in and they want to have as much or more than their friends,” Greer said. “When children see their friends flaunt material things, or lavish experiences, that can make them spiral.”

Another issue putting kids’ mental health in danger is ‘sexting’ or the exchange of nude photos and videos, which has become quite prevalent.

“I recently was made aware of an incident where a girl sent a guy nude photos and he leaked them. Once they were leaked, so many people saw them, the young girl was humiliated,” Greer recalled. “The family reported that this led to the young girl untimely killing herself out of embarrassment and humiliation that her photos were leaked.”

Greer said, in cases like these, it is vital to remember that not only does suicide hurt a family, it also tears apart the people who loved and supported the victim.

Cook Children’s launched the Joy Campaign, which this story is a part of, to bring awareness to the increase in suicides and suicide attempts being seen at the medical center. In 2020, seven Cook Children’s patients died of suicide, making suicide the leading cause of traumatic death for the first time ever. The hospital has also seen record numbers of patients being admitted for suicide attempts month after month, most recently in March when 43 children and teens were treated for injuries. While the increase in suicide attempts cannot directly be tied to the pandemic, Dr. Pyrc said children need certain things to properly function in day-to-day life.

“Kids need in-person interactions. They need sunshine and exercise and all things encompassing,” Dr. Pyrc said. “Whenever your world is mostly virtual, it can hurt both your physical health and mental health.”

What does Greer suggest parents do? Stay alert and ask questions.

“A simple, “How was your day?” or “How are your friends doing?” can go a long way in opening the lines of communication,” she said.

She emphasizes knowing what your child is looking at online and know who they are talking to. If you are concerned about your child’s safety, there are measures you can take.

“While I am typically against this and wouldn’t always recommend it, there are ways parents can use apps that will mirror their children’s phone,” Greer said. “I do believe this could hurt the trust between a parent and a child, and isn’t the best way to go about typical monitoring, and I only recommend phone mirroring for dire situations.”

Before leaving any session, Greer reminds everyone she speaks with about the importance of a trusted adult.

“I tell parents and all adults it is important that children have a trusted adult they know they can come to at all times. Parents have to be okay with the fact that the adult may be someone other than them, it is all about a child feeling safe and opening up,” she said. “I also remind every child that I come in contact with that having an adult you trust is one of the most important things you can do to protect yourself and even help a friend.”

Both Greer and Dr. Pyrc see the issue and know there is a lot of work to be done to ensure we are helping our children with their new reality. Both professionals share their tips to help parents and families better support their children.

1. Take your child’s phone before they go to sleep at night. Disrupted sleep has a negative impact on adolescents.
2. Have an open dialogue with your child without judgment and give them the ability to freely express themselves to you. Given the amount of time kids are online, these conversations should happen every day.
3. Ask about their social media. Talk to your child about what they’re seeing, how it impacts them/makes them feel, and know who they’re communicating with.
4. Ensure your child can identify a trusted adult and make sure they understand that an adult can be their go-to person at all times.
5. Talk to your child about good social media etiquette. Remind them if they see something, say something and describe how that can help save someone’s life.
6. If you believe your child is in danger, there are apps available that can monitor their phone so you can see everything they see and get them the help they need immediately.
7. Reach out for help. Do not wait until your child is in a dire situation to reach out for help and get them the resources that could save their life.

Monitor your child’s social media, and make sure you have their usernames/passwords in case of an emergency situation.

Important to note:

Instagram has an anonymous reporting tool that allows users to report when they believe something could be wrong with a friend. The site sends the person resources depending on what was reported on their behalf. These resources could be vital in saving someone’s life by simply reporting.

And, I’m pretty sure my freshly minted 10 year old will soon be asking about his own Twitter, Instagram or YouTube account soon. I realize this is a tricky situation. Especially since I’m the medical advisor for Digital Health at Cook Children’s and I’m active on social media.

Trust me I see the irony … or maybe the hypocrisy.

But Right now I’m planning to hold off AS.LONG.AS.I.CAN.

Why?

Because I’m a parent. I worry about my kids like everyone else and I want them to be safe and protected

I’m also a pediatrician and I talk to too many kids in my office who are dealing with the negative fall-out of social media. I also see way too many studies addressing how social media has caused harm.

Social media can lead to:

• A fear of missing out. I wasn’t cool in high school (this may shock you and if it doesn’t just stay quiet) but I really didn’t know what I was missing out on. Everyone partied on the weekend but didn’t say much to me about it on Monday. If there had been pictures and posts from the weekends, I would’ve understood how left out I probably was.
• Inappropriate expectations of appearance. We don’t look like the celebrities we follow on social media and we probably never will. Sometimes though it’s important to remember the celebrities don’t look like the celebrities when they are on social media either. They are photoshopped and edited many times. But still, our kids are left to compare themselves to people who taking professional photos or using editing software to make everything look perfect. It’s their job after all. Unfortunately, that doesn’t keep many of us from feeling jealous or feeling like we’ve fallen short when we don’t.
• Bullying. Anonymous or even semi-anonymous (or “behind the screen”) empowered bullying can cause isolation and fear. And it doesn’t stop when you go home from school like it did when I was a kid/teen.
• A lack of ability to process our feelings. The constant ding of dopamine we get from the amount of likes on our posts enables us to continue posting to get our fix rather than process and dive into our sadness.
• Oversharing and shame. Teenagers and preteens don’t understand the significance of oversharing and what can happen later when those details (or pictures) get shared to a wider audience.

So what should we do as parents?

Here’s what I recommend:

• Keep your child off social media as long as possible. I know. I hear it too with my three kids. But the longer you can keep them away from it, the more time you have to talk to your kids about this issue and let them mature to handle what will inevitably come their way.
• When they get on, you get copies of their passwords and connect with their accounts. You can have privacy when you are out from under my roof. Oh man, I’m starting to sound more and more like my dad. But until then, sorry kids, I’m doing everything in my power to protect you.
• You reserve the right to delete the account and take their phone at any time. I paid for it and I can take it away.

I hope this helps. Just know I’m dealing with it too and would love to hear your thoughts. Again for irony … on social media.

A recent poll by Common Sense Media shows how much teens rely n their media devices. About 50 percent of teens say they are addicted to their devices. 

But what are the consequences to this addiction?

While social media itself is not inherently dangerous, the content that teens are exposed to on social media can be harmful.

It may be all fun and games at first, sharing funny videos or posting pictures from vacation. But social media exists in an arena where comparison, bullying and inappropriate content can occur. While teens may not be using social media for these reasons, they are still in danger of exposure to potentially hurtful content, especially cyberbullying.

JAMA Pediatrics (The Journal of the American Medical Association) conducted 10 studies that explored the link between social media victimization and depression. Alarmingly, every single study showed a significant correlation.

Twenty-three percent of teens report that they have been targeted by cyberbullying. There’s something about the privacy of a keyboard and a screen that gives teenagers a false bravery and security, convincing them that they can post and share whatever they want, without consequences.

“Cyberbullying can be more extreme than other forms of bullying because it leaves the victim feeling as if they have no escape. Since it occurs on their personal electronic devices, they can be sent and received quickly with a feeling of permanence,” said Lisa Elliott, a licensed psychologist and clinic manager of Cook Children’s Behavioral Health in Denton

The National Institute of Mental Health estimated that 2.2 million adolescents have had at least one major depressive episode in the past year due to social media. Even worse, victims of cyberbullying are more than twice as likely to attempt suicide. It’s heartbreaking to think that because of a cowardly comment typed from behind the security of a screen, a teenager decides that life just isn’t worth it.

Even if teens are not experiencing cyberbullying, some are finding their self-worth on social media. Teens invest emotion into the number of likes and comments on a post. The Common Sense Media poll found that 72 percent of teens feel the need to respond to text messages, social media messages and other notifications.

The more likes, the more validated they feel. The less likes, the more self-conscious and lonely they feel. It’s as if there’s some unspoken ranking based on the number of likes an Instagram post can get. Sorry, teens, but validation is not found in the double-tapping of a screen.

Social media is also the perfect platform for teens to experience what they call “FOMO” (fear of missing out). They compare themselves to their “friends” on social media, and are constantly exposed to things that make them yearn to be included. If your teen is commenting #FOMO on everything on their news feed, then they feel extremely dissatisfied with their life compared to somebody else’s because of the false reality social media has the power to project.

So what is the solution? If you ask a teen to quit social media, you may run the risk of sending them into a state of shock and withdrawal. It is also not fair to say that every teen on social media is depressed. So how do we address the ones that are suffering from the harmful effects of social media?

Elliott said to check what your teens are following. If their news feed is filled with braggadocios posts and bullying, then they need to reassess their “friends.” Social media should be a safe place to socialize.

Therefore, encourage your kids to be a light on social media – talk to them about how real life exists beyond a handheld gadget or a lit up laptop screen. Ultimately, challenge them to use their social media for positive interactions. If they wouldn’t say that comment out loud, in person, don’t say it. If they wouldn’t want their dad to see that photo, don’t post it. If they see something inappropriate on their news feed, report the content and remove the friend (they sound like trouble, anyways).

“Educate your children that everything they put out into the cyber world is there forever and how important it is to have a positive online reputation,” said Dr. Elliott.

Social media is not going to go away. However, there are ways to overpower the harmful effects it can have on our teenagers. Pay attention to their demeanor. If they’re in a bad mood, ask them how many Instagram likes they got that day.

Written by Elizabeth Sparks

We all know about Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. All three are great resources to stay updated with people and news. But even those old favorites come with concerns if your child posts something inappropriate that can be damaging to their reputation and may have forever consequences.

But what about the latest apps?

Jody Hawkins, Information Security Officer at Cook Children’s, gives his thoughts on the benefits and dangers of today’s social media, depending on the way it’s used. Below is a list of social media platforms and apps with brief explanations of what to look out for as a parent. We begin with looking at the latest app that could pose danger to your kids – Periscope.

Periscope – Hawkins calls this “possibly the next worst app for Kids.” Periscope is a new iPhone app that allows users to share real time videos on Twitter. Currently it is only available on iPhone; but Hawkins expects that to change soon. The problems are quickly rising for parents and kids.

Twitter has pushed Periscope into production to get ahead of the competition in hot pursuit. A lot of work has been done in regards to privacy, safety and keeping offensive language off the comments. By default, Periscope uses your GPS location and allows any users on Twitter to know your location while shooting video.

“Think about that, parents. Your child posts a video and every creeper in the world can suddenly see where he or she lives,” Hawkins said. “When Periscope first launched, the locator would allow others to ‘zoom in’ on the location and see an actual intersection. That feature has since been disabled; however, the location given is still in the neighborhood of where the user is located.”

Pros: Twitter is a fun and interesting app when used appropriately. The live-streaming app makes it easy for users to track broadcasts from friends, as well as streams of people from around the world. Users can watch live and recorded broadcasts and make a friend’s list and look at a global tab. You can block spam and it’s easier now to block any annoying comments.

Cons: Currently, Periscope allows anybody to say anything which could include cyber-bullying and inappropriate comments. Online, anonymity encourages juvenile behavior and brings out the worst in some people. Even if a child turns off the GPS location device, a predator familiar with the area where the child is walking will know how to locate him or her.

Hawkins says: “Through trial and error, I am sure Periscope will improve in regards to monitoring posts and better protecting user’s privacy. However, even with improvement, this app is not for kids. For now, it is what it is – another concern for parents.”

Social media apps are geared toward young adults and adults. The app creators and companies like Google, Twitter, Facebook, etc. are catering to the broadest audience possible. Too many limitations on apps like Periscope and they lose their adult users. That means it’s up to parents to monitor their children’s usage of such apps. The permanence of things posted to the Internet can be a danger for anyone; however, it is especially dangerous when in the hands of a child who hasn’t developed a more mature sense of reasoning.

As if you didn’t have enough to worry about as a parent these days, here are eight apps to be aware of that your kids may be using:

1. Hot or Not – This app allows you to upload pictures of yourself while other people in your area vote on whether you are “hot” or not. You can vote on others in your area as well.

Pros: There are no benefits for children to use this app.

Cons: If someone scores badly, this can damage a teenager’s self-esteem. Chat is available and connections can be made with strangers.

Hawkins says: He describes this app as a “game of sorts” for kids, but it can be a risky one. In an attempt to receive a higher score, users often resort to posting risqué pictures.

2. Badoo – This social/dating app promotes the idea of meeting new people, sharing interests and even dating. It’s a way to make connections with people who share similar characteristics and you can search for people nearby. Users have to pay monthly.

Pros: If you are an adult, it’s an outlet to socialize with others who share the same interests as you.

Cons: It allows you to find people nearby to chat with and leads to meeting strangers. Badoo uses GPS technology, making it easy for predators to find your child.

Hawkins says: He would not recommend this app for the under 18 aged crowd due to the risks.

3. Palringo & 4. Tango – Both of these social messaging apps allow users to meet people from all over the globe. Palringo is a group chat app that lets you create social groups based on mutual interests and allows you to send messages to the entire group or chat one-on-one. Discussions can range from topics about sports to adult content. Tango lets you talk, text, call and video chat with friends or strangers all over the world for free.

Pros: People can find like-minded friends from all over the world. Think an international, accessible pen pal.

• Palringo can lead to discussing about inappropriate topics and predators may use these apps to meet children

Hawkins says: Both apps are good for meeting people you would never otherwise meet and finding people who can talk about your interest. Younger children shouldn’t be involved and even teens who participate should only do so in groups appropriate for their age group and with careful adult supervision.

5. Tinder – This dating app allows users to connect with new and interesting people around you. This app lets people see images of other users— you swipe right to like the picture or swipe left to pass. If someone likes you back, then it’s a match. After the match is created, you have the option to chat with the individual by phone.

Pros: There are no benefits for children to use this app.

Cons: This promotes meeting other like-minded adults and bases a “match” from physical looks.

Hawkins says: “I see this as more of a dating app for people aged 18 and older and I would not recommend it for younger teens.”

6. Grindr – This social media app is aimed toward gay, bisexual and bi-curious men. This app uses your mobile’s location-based services to show you Grindr guys close in your area.

Pros: Provides an outlet for an adult male to be comfortable with his sexuality and connect with others. But the key word in the previous sentence is “adult.”

• Can lead to kids meeting with adults and all the dangers involved. This is not Ok for kids. In fact, it’s very dangerous.

Hawkins says: “If your son has this app, I suppose the closet door is open” and parents may take this opportunity to talk sexuality and risks with their children. As with all dating apps, Hawkins would not suggest this for people under 18 years old due to the likelihood of meeting up with adults.

7. Chat Roulette – This is an online chat website that pairs random people together to video chat. Every time you begin a new chat, you never know who you are going to come face-to-face with.

Pros: There are no benefits for children to use this app.

Cons: The user can encounter people eliciting inappropriate acts. You never know what will pop up on the screen.

Hawkins says: The first thing listed on the app’s download page says it all – “Warning! For adults only!” Hawkins encourages parents to be aware of what their children are viewing online and really take part in their lives, including what they are doing online. This social outlet is not recommended for the under 18 year old age group.

8. Fake-a-Text -This app allows the user to set who the text is to look like it’s from, what the text will say, and when it will be sent.

Pros: Children can impress their friends and look cool by looking like a celebrity texts them.

Cons: This can hurt reputations and upset friends by tricking them. This app also encourages lying.

Hawkins says: “This is a teen’s dream if they want to fool their friends,” Hawkins says. This “evil little app of deception” can hurt the reputation of a real person. For example: a teenage boy can convince his friends that a real girl sent a sexual text, even though she didn’t, and this can harm her reputation.

Social media has its benefits, but those benefits can come with drawbacks. Tell your child to be cautious about the information he/she is putting out there in the online world. You also might want to have the “stranger danger” talk again with a reminder to be careful about the people he/she is chatting with online. Finding the right balance with what you share online and what you keep private is key in the social media domain. Give them a certain time frame to log-in and make sure it’s on a computer that you can view.

- Article written by Amanda Burmeister

About the source

Jody S. Hawkins, Information Systems Security Officer, has been in technology for medical facilities since early 2000 and has been practicing for more than 20 years with his start in the United States Air Force. He is a part of Cook Children's Experts on Call Speakers Bureau. Hawkins specializes in privacy and technology safety and is a regular speaker at the National HIT/HIPAA Conference. He has been quoted and published in several national publications, including Health Information Management Magazine.

Hawkins' can speak on a variety of security topics facing our children & parents today, including:

• Social media
• Cyber bullying
• Sexting
• Safety online (Parents & Child)
• General home networking security
• Virtual Child (Parents)
• Internet Safety (Parents & Child)

The screaming-leg-hanger-on-er

I know there are parents who are terrified of how their child will do on their first day of school. They are picturing their children crying and hanging on to a leg shouting, “Mommy! Don’t leave me here!” My heart goes out to those families because that must be really difficult. It seems painful for the child and is probably the most painful on mom or dad who is attempting to pry themselves away. Then, they have to spend the whole day worrying if their child is OK or building a need for therapy from their mounting sense of abandonment.

Here are some tips:

1. This behavior might be demonstrating some separation anxiety Talk through the drop-off period and the day with your child until you are both sick of talking about it. One of the best methods for combatting anxiety is to be prepared.
2. If possible, send the parent who is less likely to cause this reaction early on. Sometimes it’s mom and sometimes it’s dad. If your child can make an easy break with one, but not the other, let that parent try to help during those early days until the child sees that school isn’t such a terrible place.
3. Make a quick break. Trying to coerce children to say they love you and give you 1,000 kisses only makes things worse. A quick goodbye and we’ll see you soon should suffice.

A quick note of support: Ultimately, you may do everything right and this may still happen to you. Try to remember that their behavior at this extremely stressful moment does not define your ability as a parent. Teachers are used to seeing this. Most of them probably see it every single year in a child or two.

The quiet, but compliant child

I would bet that many kids fall into this category. They aren’t exactly sure what to think about school. They are a little annoyed about their first day of school outfit and a little more annoyed about the fact that they had to take pictures wearing it, holding a sign that says “First Day of School.” (What’s Instagram mom?) They are not openly upset about you leaving them, but they may seem a little anxious.

Here are some tips:

1. They might appreciate it if you walk them into class the first few days and see what they have been up to for a minute or two.
2. Let them know what they are feeling is normal. “It’s OK to be afraid. But every day you go, it will get easier.”
3. This is another instance where a quick, clean break is good. After the child is settled in, say goodbye and leave. No need to make every drop off day sappy … just treat it like it is no big deal.

The “see you later, dad; or not. Whatever it’s cool” child

My child might fall into the previous category, but I have a pretty strong feeling he will fit here. He seems really excited about school and I hope that is actually the case on the day of. I plan to give him lots of latitude to change his mind that day because with 5 year olds, you never know what to expect.

For this child, these tips are more for mom and dad:

1. Keep it together yourself, if you can. Your big boy or girl is growing up and independent. That is actually the goal of parenting. No one wants their college age child to be holding onto their leg at the dorm so you can check that off your parenting accomplishment list.
2. Don’t take it personally. They still love you (for now) and still want you around (occasionally).

There are many more first day of school personalities that your child could show, these are just a sampling. The best advice I can give from hearing back to school stories for years is to be flexible. Come back next week to see if I can follow my own advice. I’ll try not to cry the first day he asks me to stay in the truck while he walks in …

About the author

Justin Smith, M.D., is a Cook Children's pediatrician in Lewisville . He attended University of Texas, Southwestern Medical School and did his pediatric training at Baylor College of Medicine. He joins Cook Children's after practicing in his hometown of Abilene for four years. He has a particular interest in development, behavior and care for children struggling with obesity. In his spare time, he enjoys playing with his 3 young children, exercising, reading and writing about parenting and pediatric health issues.

Listening to this conversation got me thinking about some of the other parenting research I have done as a pediatrician and to help with our kids as they have been growing up. We all want what is best for our children, but sometimes figuring that out is difficult. But, as a pediatrician who is interested in learning and development, that’s what I’m here for. 

I decided to share some things with you that you might not have thought about before. Some of the studies are common sense and others have some pretty surprising results. Either way, I plan to offer lots of practical advice about how you can use the study to help your child learn and develop well.

Here are some of the questions I will answer over the next few weeks:

Is calling your child smart really a bright idea?

Why should everyone homeschool (don’t jump to conclusions here…wait for the post)?

Why do you want your kid to point (even if it’s not “polite”)?

And many more!

What questions do you have about how you can help your child learn and develop? Leave a comment below. If I don’t have a post that answers it, I’ll write it.

It's no question that social media has changed the way that we interact with the world. We went to a museum exhibit recently and I kept getting dirty looks, chasing after my boys because I kept walking in front of people trying get the perfect picture on their phone ... there's no doubt that I "photo-bombed" lots of Facebook posts, tweets and Instagram accounts that day.

We are more connected now with more people than ever before. The problem is the types of connections that these mediums tend to foster. Adults have a difficult time with many aspects of social media: deciphering true friendship, using caution when posting personal information and being careful not to say and do things because of the security and anonymity of being behind the computer. These three issues are even more difficult for teenagers to wrap their heads around.

So, when is the right age to let your child use social media? It depends.

It depends on so many things and there's not a simple answer but here are some questions you need to ask yourself.

1) What does your tween/teenager want to use it for?

I'm not sure what the answer you're looking for here is. My guess is that the most honest answer you would get from your child is," Everyone else has one." There are really different uses for some of the different platforms so you should probably weight each answer in the context of your child and the platform.

Facebook - You may not get many requests for using Facebook ... believe it or not, some reports say it is declining in use by our teenagers. Yogi Berra once said, "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded." Facebook may be too crowded with adults to attract teenagers anymore. Nobody wants their parents to be able to see the pictures of them at a party. Many teenagers even say they have grown tired of Facebook because they are tired of the unneccessary drama that users are trying to stir. 

Twitter - Many tweens migrated to Twitter in 2012 and 2013. One of the most common reasons is that parents aren't there yet so it keeps them ahead of their parents' online presence. I think it also provides them a level of connection to celebrities that some of the other platforms don't provide. I got a picture of my boys retweeted by Vince Carter (@mrvincecarter15) last year and I have to admit I got a little bit of a rush from it. You can imagine what any amount of social recognition by one of your teen's heroes would provide. 

Instagram - Instagram seems to be a pretty quickly expanding social network. Teens seem to like the visual components to it and the rapidity with which they can post. It used to be popular because parents and adults weren't on the site, but we can get involved and ruin that pretty quickly (and it's started to happen already).

Snapchat - Snapchat is a way to share photos and share them with friends in a way that (in theory) cannot be stored on the phone. However, as with anything digital, there is always a loophoole and recipients can take a screen shot of the Snap and save it to their phone. When I ask my patients who have Snapchat about this, they say they only use it to take crazy or silly pictures of themselves and share them. Of course, no one I know is using them for sexting or anything less honorable (sarcasm intended).

2) Will you have access to the accounts any time you want?

Just like snooping on a cell phone, snooping around on your children's accounts without their knowledge doesn't work. What happens if you find something that concerns you? Do you address them directly, indirectly or just fret and worry about what you've found but not bring it up? You have to set a ground rule up front about what your level of supervision will be so that there are no surprises down the road.

3) How will you protect them from inappropriae content/behavior?

Social media has dangers and if we allow our children to be on them, we have to protect them from harm.

1) Predators - Unfortunately, this happens more commonly than it should. Your teenagers should not accept friend requests from people they don't know and should use caution about posting personal information.

2) Bullying - Your teeangers could be bullied online, but they could also be bullying others online. Teenagers often lose their inhibition when they are sitting at a keyboard and don't stop because they don't receive the feedback of a person getting upset like they would be if they were bullying in person.

3) Social acceptance - Teenagers commonly post things online in order to get acceptance from others. There is a growing trend of teenagers (especially girls) posting videos of themselves asking, "Am I Pretty or Ugly?" Of course, they get a mix of responses but many are aggressively negative and teenagers have a hard time moving past the negative responses or realizing that someone is simply responding to hurt them.

4) Social pressure - Teenagers have always had an intense anxiety to be cool. They have a desire to be wearing the "right" clothes, have the "right" friends and find themselves at the "right" parties. So, what has changed because of social media? All the same pressures are there but they are present in front of your teenagers 24 hours a day. They not only have to sort through all these issues, they have to post about them and read their friends posts about them, all the while struggling to keep up. It's exhausting just to think about it.

In summary, every teenager will eventually ask you for some form of social network access. Even if you don't have teenagers, it's important to start to think through some of these issues early so that you're prepared when the time comes. Discussing these issues with your teenagers before you give them access can prepare them to use social media in a healthy way.