Dr. McGehee, seen here with his daughter Brigid, became a stepfather of two younger girls 15 years ago, after his own four children were nearly grown and out of the house. He feels like the commitment he keeps to his wife, Pam, is what makes him a better father of a strong family.

“I know, to some, it sounds like it defies common sense to say put the children second,” Dr. McGehee said. “But, I think you have to have a strong marriage and a strong bond between the husband and wife. From there, everything grows from the love in that relationship. If the marriage is solid, the kids will benefit.”

That strong relationship between spouses will also be needed, Dr. McGehee said, with the extra challenges that come from being a stepparent.

Children of divorce often have emotional issues, sometimes of abandonment and sometimes of anger against the new father. Dr. McGehee said the parents need to have a unified front in dealing with their kids.

“You have to eventually find that place where you trust the stepparent and their objectivity,” Dr. McGehee said. “The stepparent can look at things with fresh eyes and without some of the emotional entanglement that may be there with the biological parent and the children. Hopefully, the biological parent will find that objectivity helpful.”

And then there’s one more relationship that Dr. McGehee feels stepdad has to at least attempt to make – with the biological dad.

“We have something in common – the relationship with the kids,” Dr. McGehee said. “I would hope that we are both trying to love and nurture the child. You have to try to get along with each other, eventually you will have things like graduation and weddings to attend together. You may not ever be friends, but you should at least be colleagues in raising a child. All the parents involved should have the same goals for the child – making them a happy, healthy and successful person.”

So how do you find “father time?”

Healthy father-child interaction can involve any number of activities, including playing a board game or video game together, attending or coaching the child’s sports games, or chaperoning a class field trip, party or school dance.

“Spending time together sends the message that you are interested in your child and enjoy his or her company,” said Joy Crabtree, Psy.D., licensed psychologist at Cook Children’s Urgent Care and Pediatric Specialties Center in Southlake. “Creating these positive memories is crucial to your child’s emotional development.”

Crabtree said it’s also important to incorporate quality time into casual, everyday experiences. Bring your child along to run errands, and let him or her help you with light yard work and other chores around the house.

For young boys especially, “goofing off” and appropriate roughhousing help instill a sense of trust in dads, which may promote healthy behaviors later in life.

“Boys tend to imitate their fathers’ parenting styles when they grow up and become fathers themselves,” Crabtree said. “For girls, having regular fatherly interaction can help quell inappropriate attention seeking behavior in their teenage years.”