I get the question all the time at my office in Forest Park - "When can my baby safely have a blanket/pillow/lovey/stuffed animal in the crib with her?" I'll try to answer that here.

Don't we pediatricians seem silly sometimes? We're always lecturing you about what not to do. DO NOT put your baby on their stomach to sleep. DO NOT put anything in your child's crib. DO NOT sleep with your baby in your bed! DO NOT use those darn crib bumpers!

We seem mean, right? And strict. And out-of-touch with surviving the sleep deprivation involved in raising a small person.

I'm here to tell you that the reason we tell you these things is because we don't want your baby to die. Dramatic, I know. And I'm not trying to fear-monger. Hear me out.

A recent study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that over half of American sleep environments for babies under 1 do not follow recent "safe sleep" recommendations. That's so scary to me.

Babies have died by suffocating under stuffed animals, blankets, and bumpers in bed. I know it seems silly, but it's happened. Open up your web search engine and do a quick search. I've personally done CPR on a 4-month-old infant who had gotten their little head trapped between a bumper and a crib rail. I will never forget the look on the mother's face of another child, a newborn who suffocated on a pillow in the crib. These memories haunt us, folks. These babies' deaths were preventable.

The reason these tragedies happen, and the reason we harp on "safe sleep environments" is because before age one, babies still have not developed the muscle strength and coordination to deal with crib items the way an older child or adult can. And their brains are still not old enough or developed enough to wake them up to change a dangerous situation, like their face being mashed into a soft mattress, or a blanket covering their head. They are not coordinated enough or strong enough to unwrap a tangled loose sheet, or unwedge their head from a loose bumper.

I don't think you should put anything in the crib with your baby, other than a wearable/zip-up blanket and a pacifier, until they are 12 months old.

After that, have at it. My 3 year old sleeps with no less than 15 animals/blankeys in his bed at night. My 18 month old has a small blanket and a lovey she adores and needs right now to soothe herself to sleep. The incidence of crib deaths drops drastically after age 1 - typically if a toddler dies suddenly in bed, it is due to a medical issue (though there are very rare exceptions out there).

Before age 1, put a wearable blanket on your baby. They're in all the baby stores and online, are washable, and they're affordable. They should have arm holes and a hole for the head, and should zip up. They come in linen, fleece, you name it. They keep kids warm enough in the winter.

Pacifiers are OK in the crib anytime. In fact, studies in recent years have shown a paci used at night drastically reduces the chance for SIDS death.

Loveys are a tough one. I consider a "lovey" to be one of those small pieces of cloth with a little soft animal head attached. I think they're safe to introduce around 12 months - when a child's core muscles are nice and strong and they're easily able to roll, prop up to sitting, and self-soothe. Some of them are bigger than others. I'd be worried if one was long enough to wrap fully around a child's head or neck.

You could do a little experiment to see if your baby is ready for a lovey. After they fall asleep, take the lovey and put in on their face, then observe. Do they breathe easily? Do they eventually swat it to the side? If the answer is yes, it's ok to keep it around!

I am a big believer in healthy baby sleep practices and children learning to self-soothe when they are ready. I hope this helps guide you in what can safely go in the crib!

Hugs,

Dr. Diane

Constipation is the cause of alllllll the things. Just joking.

No, but really – it’s one of the most common things I see in my office at Willow Park, and it causes strange problems sometimes. Parents often don't believe me when I tell them it's constipation causing the problem. 

What is constipation? It doesn't necessarily mean your child isn't stooling daily. A kiddo can be constipated and poop many times a day. Constipation means hard, dry stools. They’re often painful to push out. And yes, most kids with constipation will go a few days between stools.

I really feel that constipation has become more prevalent over the years because of how our kids' diets have changed. In general, kids are eating less fresh fruits and veggies and depending more on packaged goods for snacks and meals. 

There are lots of medical causes for constipation as well. Did you know that hard poops can cause:

1. Stomach pain
2. Withholding of stool
3. Vomiting
4. Refusal to eat
5. New urinary accidents
6. Wetting the bed
7. Diarrhea
8. Poop accidents 
9. Blood in stools, blood in diaper
10. Fever (yes it can cause fever! mostly lowgrade)

Here's the deal - and let's get down and dirty about it. The things your kids eat affect the quality of their poop. If they eat and drink things that don't have much fiber (think cheese, yogurt, pastas, cookies, white bread, bananas, milk, goldfish crackers), their stools will be harder. 

Also, did you know our bodies absorb water out of our stools if we need it? So if your kiddo isn't drinking enough water, his body will just take it out of the poop, and it will become hard. 

The poop gathers at the “end of the tube” in a child’s body – the rectum and descending colon – and stretches everything out a lot. See the pic. This chronic distension leads to problems with the “valves” inside the rectum. Sometimes, this leads to leaking – soft stools can leak out without the child being able to control it. 

These big bulky stools can also push on neighboring organs, like the bladder, and even push urine out sometimes. And children with chronic constipation tend to develop poor control of their pelvic muscles and can lose control over their bladder, leading to leaking. One study showed that after being treated for constipation, 89% of 250 kids had complete resolution of their daytime wetting problems.

When the stools become hard, they hurt to push out. So kids don’t want to poop. So they hold it in. And the body slowly takes water out of it. And the stools get harder. And more difficult and painful to push out. Thus starts the painful cycle. 

Kids can get constipated anytime, but I find it’s most common 1) when babies start solid foods, 2) when kids start potty training, and 3) when kids start school.

So how do you fix the problem? Well, that depends on the severity of the problem and the age of the kiddo. But some general rules:

1. WATER. LOTS OF IT. Children and teens should drink at least 6 to 8 cups of water a day. 
2. Fresh fruits and veggies! I encourage kids to eat green veggies, prunes and other fruits (but not bananas), bran, whole grain bread. Sometimes those puree pouches with the kale, spinach, and broccoli are a good start for the picky kids.
3. Certain fruit juices – ok, we pediatricians are NOT big fans of juice. But I’ll make an exception in this case – go with prune, or pear.
4. Fiber supplements – flax seeds are great. Fiber gummies and cookies are good, too.
5. Behavioral and schedule changes – encourage a routine for “potty time”. 20-30 min after meals, have your kiddo sit on the toilet for 5 minutes. Encourage your child to listen to his body and stop playing when he feels the urge to “go” (and not hold it in). 
6. Do not punish your child, or get mad, if he has an accident (urine or stool) – remember, this isn’t under his control!
7. Avoid those foods I mentioned before for a few days – bananas, cheese, crackers, milk (if over age 1), breads, pastas.

If there is anything I can’t express enough to parents – it’s BE PATIENT! It takes many months for the intestines to stretch out and constipation to form in toddlers and children, and it takes many months (sometimes even years) to treat it. Sometimes we use safe laxatives or glycerin suppositories to help during the really rough patches – call or come visit us to talk more about that if you think its necessary. 

Hugs,Dr. Poop (er, Diane)

Then, I was blessed to have a beautiful son...

….who decided that I needed to be re-taught a few things about children.

And by a few things, I mean everything.

Don’t get me wrong – you don’t have to be a parent to be an excellent doctor. I still dish out the same advice. The books and studies are spot-on and I’m going to give it to you straight. Breastfeeding does provide the best nutrition for babies. But I understand the pain you’re going through to meet that goal. And I understand the frustration of having a child who just won’t latch on. And I understand now why you look at me, with a crazy twitch in your eye, when I tell you to try an extra pumping session a day to build up your supply, mama. I hated that thing, too. Can anyone say “dairy cow”? And guess what – formula isn’t poisonous. I wasn’t physically able to meet my full breastfeeding goals with my kid – there’s no judgement here if you grab that can. And it’s okay if it makes your relationship with your child happier, healthier and more fulfilling.

Our car seat remains rear-facing at 18 months. It’s been proven to be five times safer than forward-facing. I’m sorry for my lecture during your little one’s checkup. And oh yes, I too want to rip my hair out when I can’t reach over far enough to give my kid that 400^th toy to keep them quiet on the trip to grandma’s.

“Crying it out” was a tough one for me. Pre-child, it was so easy to coach parents - encourage them to drop the constant rocking, the running into the nursery at all hours of the night, the fear of allowing their child to cry in order to learn put themselves to sleep. Then I went through it with my son. Let’s just say I give the same advice now (it really does work) …and recommend a glass of wine for every 15 minutes of crying. I probably cried more than my kid did. Motherhood helped me give this advice with a much softer tone. I get it, mom and dad. And I feel your pain (and exhaustion).

Pacifiers – I missed that thing so much. So, so much. Oh man I missed that thing when it had to go. I think I needed one myself when the time came to get rid of it.

As for the well-rounded, healthy meals I recommend offering your child throughout the day – I now understand why there are food shortages in some parts of the world. It’s because all that food is currently on the floor of my kitchen. Where my son threw it. I get it. And I’m here to help you find tricks to make things better. Tried and tested in my own home.

In all seriousness, motherhood has been the most exhausting, challenging, humbling thing I’ve ever experienced. But I can say without a doubt that it’s made me a better doctor for your child. Because helping you get through those everyday challenges is a huge part of what being a pediatrician is all about.

I recently polled some physician mom colleagues to get their take on how motherhood changed them:

• “I am that much more in awe of the composure, patience, faith, resolve my patients' families have, especially considering how chronically sick the kids are that I see, and how too not-infrequently, limited the treatments are. I see my son in every patient. Everything is different. Every heartache is my heartache. Each illness, each story seems to hit home that much harder. I am so so appreciative.”
• “I am much more empathetic and practical in some advice. I think that I am much more emotionally available post having kids and can understand a variety of stresses parents who go through NICU may encounter.”
• “You come to understand that "by the book" is not always what is possible in real life!”
• “I feel like when the kids have a tougher diagnosis - cancer- it hits closer to home and I hold my kids a bit tighter. Likewise, little pearls and tricks that I used help make it more of a village caring mentality for the family which has been lost over the last 30-40 years.”
• “My medical advice is not too different, but I understand the unspoken worry so much better now. So I try to address the emotional stuff first in ways that would not have occurred to me pre-kids. Now I'll directly say things like "you are a good mother even if you need to use formula," or "this lymphadenitis/rectal bleeding/etc is NOT cancer," or "they are not dangerous, but constant viral illnesses all winter TOTALLY SUCK.” I think it has made me a much better pediatrician.”
• “One of my favorite attendings in peds residency told me, as I was a mess after coming back from maternity leave with my first, that a little part of your heart will always be on the outside, dangling like a vulnerable little wisp in the wind that is parenting- and that little wisp makes you so much stronger and so much softer- all for the good....it's so true.”

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!