The licensed psychologists at Cook Children's have seen this issue throughout their careers. It’s a symptom of a feeding disorder she describes as “pocketing.”

Alaina Everitt. a licensed psychologist, said the issue of pocketing usually begins when children are young. The children may experience something painful, such as reflux or a sore in their mouth, and they find it difficult to eat.

The children then may begin a process of holding, spitting out or refusing food altogether.

Children who pocket food should be checked out by an occupational and speech therapist, even if they have had no other type of therapies or been diagnosed with any medical conditions, according to Everitt. She said those specialists can make sure there are no other problems, such as difficulty moving food around in their mouth with their tongue or if the tongue is weak. These children can usually be cured with basic therapy exercises to overcome these obstacles.

If it’s a sensory issue, more extensive therapy may be needed. Children with sensory difficulties, autistic children for instance, may need a lot of food for them to even feel it in their mouth.

“These kids will over stuff and pile food in their mouth and get the ‘chipmunk cheeks,’” Everitt said. “These children tend to like crunchy or spicy foods because they may have trouble tasting or feeling other foods because of sensory issues.”

Lots of toddlers will hold their food and that tends to be developmentally appropriate. If a child gets closer to age 5 then parents may have cause for concern.

As children get older, they become more skilled at pocketing food. The kids may keep their food in their cheeks until they discard it or the parents can’t get their children to swallow.

“It becomes a meal-time battle,” Everitt said.

Cook Children’s helps parents with a team approach to treating children with a feeding disorder. A pediatrician would help guide the child’s care. A dietitian may help the child find foods they can swallow. Speech and occupational therapists lead the actual therapy portion to teach swallowing and resolve sensory issues. Everitt comes in to help with any emotional or behavioral issues, such as anxiety or parent-child power struggles.

“Therapists have little tricks they teach parents; how to do the right type of massage or how to get in their child’s mouth with a vibrating tool as it helps them from a sensory perspective,” Everitt said. “These things can help children swallow easier. You also have to make sure they don’t have a swallowing problem at this phase and the speech therapist will help with that. If the kid has choked before or has trouble swallowing, why would they try to swallow? Even when that issue gets treated the kids are still scared and that’s when they come to me.”

About 3 percent of kids suffer from severe selective eating, to the extent that they can't eat out at a restaurant, said lead researcher Nancy Zucker, an eating disorders specialist at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, N.C.

Severely selective eaters are more than twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression or social anxiety, when compared with kids who'll eat anything, according to findings published online Aug. 3 in the journal Pediatrics.

Alaina Everett, a Cook Children’s licensed psychologist in Denton, says severe picky eating can be treated from a psychological/behavioral perspective as well as through oral-motor and sensory therapies and trying new foods for children who have severe selective eating can be terrifying.

“The fear is only intensified when parents make threats or express anger and frustration,” Everett said. “In our psychology department we emphasize the belief that kids do well if they can. Likewise they will eat well if they can. But there are obstacles that get in the way. Whether the original issue is a sensory processing disorder, oral-motor weakness or a gastrointestinal problem, all these kids have one thing in common, anxiety.”

From a psychological standpoint, these kids have had unpleasant experiences with food and the lingering trauma may be real. This is especially true for well-meaning moms who hide veggies in their kids’ favorite foods. If you have a seriously picky eater, Everett says this strategy will back-fire big time.

So how much anxiety can meal time actually cause?

“It is not uncommon in my practice to see children cry, scream, hide under the table, and quite literally shake at the sight of a novel food or when asked to join me at the table,” said Amanda Fyfe, a speech-language pathologist at Cook Children's in Arlington and Mansfield. “The anxiety severe picky eaters cope with is real and it can be intense. These kiddos often have months or years of negative food experiences fueling this fear, and unraveling it takes real work on everyone’s part. “

Fyfe says severely picky eaters:

• Have a significantly limited food repertoires (think 10 foods). These foods are probably similar in some way, although figuring out the rhyme or reason to what your little guy will or won’t eat can be mind boggling. It may be that his safe foods are the same color or have the same texture.
• Frustrate us with behavior that makes mealtime at home a catastrophe and eating out unheard of. He may refuse to eat with your family or cry and scream at the sight of the casserole you’ve so lovingly prepared.
• Refuse foods based on ALL sensory properties, including appearance, smell, texture, and taste. A picky eater may not even tolerate an offensive food on his plate. The sight of a non-preferred food may cause gagging, retching, and vomiting. Eating is more than simply chewing and swallowing. Interacting with, smelling, touching, and tasting are ALL important steps in the eating process. And disruption can occur at any step.
• May struggle to meet nutritional demands

“A child will not eat the broccoli and pork chops if you wait him out. He just won’t,” Fyfe said. “In fact, he may grow more and more rigid in his food selection because he IS hungry and grumpy. If a food or experience causes a child stress, discomfort, or pain, he will avoid it, plain and simple.”

Fyfe says these children are hypersensitive to foods in ways most of us might not even consider when planning our meals. Foods have to pass many tests before deemed acceptable for consumption, believe it or not, and severely picky eaters really put their meals to the test.

The first and possibly the most important test his dinner must pass? What it looks like. Children are acutely aware of the color of the food and may question why the color, shape, or size changes from bite to bite or from meal to meal. In addition, they might become overwhelmed by the smell of a particularly pungent food (think roasted broccoli, guys) and lose all ability to even consider tasting it. The texture of yogurt or pudding may cause a gag with incredible force. All of these reactions to food can lead to increased behavior disruption and meal time chaos.

“They can taste everything,” Everett said. “Zucchini pasta does not fool anyone and they are likely to stop eating pasta altogether. Presenting motivators like extra video game time can help, but it doesn’t solve the underlying anxiety. The scenario will just repeat itself when the next new food is presented.”

If your child shows signs of extreme picky eating, you will need some help. Talk to your child’s pediatrician about scheduling a feeding evaluation with a speech-language pathologist to determine the origin of the feeding woes and develop strategies to improve the eating experience for the entire family. A child psychologist may also be used if necessary.

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/08/03/428016725/could-your-childs-picky-eating-be-a-sign-of-depression

https://childhealthanddevelopment.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/kaytoomey.pdf

About the author

Amanda Fyfe is a speech-language pathologist at Cook Children's in Arlington and Mansfield. Speech/language pathologists focus on oral motor, speech, language and communication skills to enhance development, restore function and to prevent disability from pediatric conditions, illness or injury. Click here to find the closest Cook Children's Rehabilition Services near you.

Step 1: Groundwork

This phase is really a pre-step. Ideally, it should happen prior to the merger. Both parents need to take the time to learn and understand their own parenting styles and preferences. Whether you take a quiz online or read a 300 page book, it doesn’t matter as long as you understand your style well enough to be able to talk to your partner about your style of parenting. It may also be helpful to plan an "observation" date where you can watch your partner interacting and parenting his (or her) child. Afterward (not in front of the child) you can ask questions of your partner and discuss your differences and similarities. Be careful not to openly challenge your partner’s style. This is an opportunity to learn about each other, not to criticize.

Another very important part of the self-discovery phase is to check for emotional baggage. Most blended families are the product of divorce or the death of a parent which often involves intense personal emotions. Be sure your parenting style is not going to be affected by guilt, anger or defensiveness. Many parents feel so guilty subjecting their children to the turmoil of divorce that they parent out of guilt and become more permissive. It’s a myth that children need a break from discipline and structure following an event like this. They often need more structure and will find comfort in the predictability of your consistent parenting.

Step 2: Rebuilding

Bringing two families together creates an opportunity to craft something new. You and your partner get to construct a new household. Depending on the age of your children, this may be the perfect time to make new rules and establish new consequences. Having regular family meetings is particularly helpful and gives parents an opportunity to lay out details of the new plan while fielding the "But why…." and "How come…." questions. Even with proper explanation and clarification, details of the new plan are likely to be challenged and tested in the days, weeks, or months following the merge. This leads us to the final and most challenging step.

Step 3: Settling

You planned ahead, you laid it out, and now it’s time to let it settle. Some parts will work like a charm and other parts will seem like a complete failure. This is part of the parenting process and isn’t unique to blended families. However, blended families often come with circumstances that may make the settling process a little rough. There may be joint custody arrangements with your ex-spouse which make it necessary to think through rules and consequences you set in your home. You can’t ground your child from video games if he is going to be able to go over to his mother’s house and have unlimited play time. It’s better to set consequences you know you can enforce.

Another significant issue that might arise during your well-planned settling phase involves your child’s emotional and behavioral reaction to the divorce. If your child displays uncharacteristic behaviors such as sleep difficulty, appetite changes, poor school performance or social withdrawal it may indicate the development of an adjustment disorder, depression or anxiety. If this is the case, you and your child may need a mental health professional to steer you through the settling process. These issues can’t be addressed through consistent parenting alone.

Following these three steps does not ensure a perfectly blended family. It does, however, ensure that you will have established a foundation of open communication, compromise and flexibility that will enable your new family to weather any storm.